list anything

Please Don't Talk To Me About My Items, Really Nice Whole Foods Lady

2012-02-10T19:27:00.002-06:00

(and make me inadvertently pretend to be part of a couple by using the word *we* no seriously I did that)

Cajun Sesame Sticks from bulk
Grated Parmigiano Reggiano
Slice Lemon Icebox Pie
Half Loaf Parmesan Basil Bread, sliced
Red Wine
Abita Mardi Gras

Movie highlights (January 2012)

2012-02-02T00:24:00.001-06:00

The best things about some of the movies I saw this month:

The American:

George Clooney's timepiece
runner-up: the first 10 or minutes or so

Haywire:

Awesome/ridiculous hair and make-up in later acts
Runner-up: the deer (I like to think an homage to The Long Kiss Goodnight)
Bonus: ask Jon about his favorite part

The Artist:

Jean Dujardin's smile
Runners-up: George and the dog at the table; Peppy and the coat on the hatstand
Bonus: Old man who clapped at the end. As he left the theater, he asked other people (i.e., strangers): "Wasn't that incredible?!" Then, to all: "That was the best movie I've seen in 40 years! It showed the human spirit!"

Tiny Furniture

Laurie Simmons, the actor/writer/director's mother, as Siri, her mother.

The Iron Lady:
- (Meryl Streep was pretty amazing, but a movie should not be a pointless one-woman stage production, so she loses out to) awesome Viserys as her young husband
- Runner-up: the Dr. Strangelove scene (which actually looks more like Star Wars, or a cartoon)
- Bonus: ask DJ about his favorite part

The Descendants:

The preview for Coriolanus
Bonus: it made me go home and watch Citizen Ruth again to re-appreciate Alexander Payne.

Citizen Ruth:

Laura Dern's facial expressions
The kicking. Oh my, the kicking.

Fictional characters I am in love with...

2012-01-30T22:56:00.000-06:00

...in a way I can not explain. And if I tried to explain it to you, you would probably enroll me in therapy immediately.

Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights
Peeta Mellark*, The Hunger Games
Eddie Birdlace, Dogfight
Tessa Quayle, The Constant Gardener
Billy Parham, The Crossing
Peter Whitman, The Darjeeling Limited
Robert Benchley, Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Finny**, A Separate Peace
David Seton Barnes, Soapdish
Chantelle, Passion Fish
Boyd Crowder, Justified
Sera, Leaving Las Vegas
Jack Baker and Susie Diamond, The Fabulous Baker Boys

*Yes, this is creepy, but I love him. Sorry.
**This is less creepy because I have been in love with him since I was 16. Not sorry.

P.S. If my Friday Night Lights and creepy quotas had not yet been met, I would probably also add Matt Saracen, Luke Cafferty, and Tim Riggins. Sorry?

make that 4 things....

2012-01-24T17:59:00.001-06:00

4. This quote from a critic:

"Take heart in the probability that neither Fassbender nor Swinton are the type of talents to place any more stock in these contests than we critics do. Indeed, I'm sure Swinton is too busy orchestrating morris-dancing flashmobs and rock-painting in the Hebrides, or whatever it is she does in her spare time, to have heard today's news. If nothing else, I'm sure they're both pretty pleased for Gary Oldman. Who isn't?"

3 things

2012-01-24T08:02:00.001-06:00

1. Gary Oldman!!!
2. Terrence Malick!
3. Poor Albert Brooks :-(

Things I am selling in the garage sale tomorrow

2012-01-20T19:59:00.001-06:00

Multiple jigsaw puzzles
Scrabble
An ugly throw pillow
Bunn coffee maker
Coffee table (from Target!)
Dry-cleaned men's slacks (size skinnier)
An old lady TV tray thing my mom gave me for no discernible reason
A hard rock Mozart t-shirt
Two t-shirts from work
2 boxes of VHS tapes (lots of Hitchcock, Sayles, and Pfeiffer)

Things Leslie Knope Is Pro

2012-01-20T17:40:00.003-06:00

1. Parks

2. Public Safety

3. Environmental regulation

4. Local proposition 45

5. Local proposition 86

6. Local proposition 102F

7. More Dog Parks

8. Senior Citizens Rights

9. Safe Streets

10. Safe Sidewalks

11. Better Schools

12. Lower Taxes

13. Better Parks

14. Better business climate

15. Better Better Business Bureau

16. Cleaner Streets

17. Improve greenways

18. More snow plows

19. Protecting Pawneeans

20. Improving tourism

21. More trash cans

22. Energy-efficient street lights

23. Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project

24. Repaving Grand Avenue

25. More Teachers

26. Fewer Libraries

27. Improve intergovernmental agency communication

28. Clean-up barefoot lake

29. Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4

30. Playgrounds in every park

31. Playgrounds in every schoolyard

32. Playgrounds in every residential block

33. Clean energy

34. One police officer for every 5 citizens

35. One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons

36. Resodding Hilltop Cemetery

37. Start talking to Cuba again

38. Emergency evacuation drills

39. Plow For Charity

40. Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee

41. Challenging the norm

42. Pawnee Corn Subsidies

43. Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea

44. Official peace treaty with Wamapoke Tribe

45. Four-way stops at every intersection

46. Unionizing ice cream trucks

47. Get Europe out of debt

48. Free trade with Illinois

49. Enact RRP- Raccoon Relocation Project

50. Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service

51. Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff

52. Legalize Korean

53. Lower the obesity level

54. Stop global terrorism

55. Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo

56. Find Gabe the Toucan

57. More community gardens

58. Ordinance 11F: To re-pave City Sidewalks

59. Budget Reform

60. Updated Technologies for Local Schools

61. Better retirement benefits for city employees

62. Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling

63. Speed bumps in front of elementary schools

64. Unemployment benefits

65. Re-installing the Main St. Farmers Market

66. No turtles as pets

67. New uniforms for youth sports programs

68. Free Public Wi-Fi

69. Updated childcare facilities

70. Shutting down the Child Left Behind program

71. Handicap parking placards for the obese

72. FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE

73. Cleaner drinking water

74. Regulate heights of trampolines

75. Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"

76. Control the floods

77. Funding for public art commission

78. Fencing in correctional facilities

79. New police patrol cars

80. Funding overtime for police

81. Rebuilding the PTA

82. Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle

83. Profitable government organizations

84. Shutting down underground shooting ranges

85. Making sure city contracts employ local workers

86. Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses

87. Foster partnerships with sister cities

88. More buses to speed up morning commutes

89. More streets to accommodate additional buses

90. Require all city employees to check and respond to email

91. Working sewers

92. More parades

93. Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy

94. Leave a lasting impression on all visitors

95. Challenge the norm (Ed. note: So important it's listed twice.)

96. Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach

97. No more conflict diamonds

98. Bulletproof glass everywhere

99. Free cookies at every street corner

100. One school for every student

101. Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms

102. Develop a municipal composting operation

103. Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances

104. Upgrade existing parks

105. Create an anti-graffiti youth outreach program

106. Free cake when it's your birthday

107. Reevaluate NAFTA

108. Rickshaw Wednesdays

109. Making it illegal to refuse a hug

110. Make downtown more people-friendly

111. Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt

112. Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy

113. Better screening processes at local adoption agencies

114. Finding homes for the adopted children of Day Labor Corp.

115. Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups

116. Pawnee

117. Hot Dogs

Thanks to PJenkins for pointing me to this transcription from last night's campaign ad.

Acts performing at the Houston Rodeo that I have never heard of

2012-01-09T15:41:00.003-06:00

Luke Bryan
Big Time Rush
China Anne McClain
Chris Young
Duelo (Tejano Day)
The Band Perry

Seriously, who are these people?

Tidbits on getting old

2012-01-09T13:35:00.000-06:00

Vision
- I can't read anything up close, making it hard for me to know how long to cook my soups or take my medicine.
- I have a very hard time reading on computers.
- After looking at anything moderately bright, I struggle to regain focus (involving lots of bug-eyeing).

NOTE (reason for list): I have had to reformat this blog because the white-on-black is nearly impossible for me to read. Screencap of the old blog after the jump, if you're interested or nostalgic. Ideas welcome for new formats.

Hearing
- My right ear rings constantly (three simultaneous whistles).
- I have worn ear plugs to a concert and a football game in the past 4 months.
- The doctor said I have "significant hearing loss." (He also asked if I worked in a factory.)

Body - other
- My right knee creaks when I bend it.
- So does my neck when I turn it.
- I hold hand rails on stairs.

Misc. Taste in Things
- When UH bought 91.7 from Rice with the intent of changing it from a student-run station into a 24-hour classical station, I was so pissed. I signed petitions! But that was over 6 months ago. I am now totally content with my classical station.
- I also listen to jazz a lot (much to Julie's and Jon's disappointment).
- I love beets.
- My hair is hideous and I have no idea how it should look. Same goes for my clothes.
- I own CDs with 4 of the "awesome songs" Julie mentioned in the post below. (I guess I could have stopped at "I own CDs").

Kids today
- presented without comment

What the heck is that?
- Spotify
- Dubstep
- Lana Del Rey
- All these things that work through the TV (other than the Playstation and the Netflix, which my brother got me hooked up on like I was already in a nursing home and now I am that old person who can work that one device perfectly but don't change anything!!!)

Awesome Songs I Heard On My Car Radio Today

2012-01-04T18:49:00.003-06:00

This was all within 5 miles, no traffic, about 3 regular radio stations. A very high winner to dud ratio. Is what I'm saying.

(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles - The Proclaimers
No Rain - Blind Melon
Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold) - Dan Seals
Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve

How lucky am I?!

School Papers

2012-01-02T15:19:00.004-06:00

A list from Tavi Gevinson in this month's Rookie editor's letter. Tavi is 15 and quite awesome. This list comes after first saying that staying up all night to write a paper is the best. Then she acknowledges what P.Jenkins and I know to be true:

It is not actually that great for paper-writing. I hate myself every time I am writing a paper at 3 AM. I do not condone it. Here is a list of names I have saved school papers under on my desktop:
poop farts
piece of shit
i hate everything
i hate everyone
lol cry
ugh

Things I Saw Around the Ark-La-Tex Today

2011-12-30T17:30:00.002-06:00

Hearse for sale
Random man riding a horse near the airport
Hayroll turkey
Kroger bagboy riding a Rascal shopping cart through the parking lot

Quotes in my Blackberry's "MemoPad"

2011-12-27T13:53:00.005-06:00

I like to type things people say into my phone. I just got a new phone and now I need to do something with these gems. I've decided to list some here.

"I don't like TVs in the bedroom. It hinders conversation and romance." - DJ
"For five dollars I got two pitchforks full of beef. And they were gross." - Candice
"Hey dickcheese! What's in a gypsy bomb?!" - Drunk guy, at the Waterin Hole in Kerrville yelling across the patio
"If you want a music scene, you've got Seattle; you've got Dallas." - Drunk guy, at Komodo in Houston
"I went to the farmer's market. There was this old lady there. She was nice, so I bought her jelly." - Michael
"I don't have hair like you. That protective sheath of ducks' locks." - Derek, to me.
"His breath is like the gulf coast." - Kim, about Jose [RIP]
"That's a medium?!" - Pat, about a coke at the movie theater, to the theater employee who sold it to him
"Did they have depraved childhoods?" - Paz, about kids who didn't know the Thundercats
"This looks crowded!" - Paz, looking at a picture of Mardi Gras, explaining why we need to hurry to get downtown for Mardi Gras
"You don't want to be the guy at the party who brings his dog." - Ragan
"What are you, 80? Sensodyne?" - Walt
"Random dogs in cars can be a dangerous thing." - Will
"He's like a friend but he's just talking to you all the time." - Will, about Brian Williams
"You know what? I'm gonna have a lemonade." - Grown man, to the girl taking his order at Becks when she asked if he'd like anything to drink.
"Are those your drink sizes, there [pointing]?" - Lemonade-ordering man, when the girl at Becks asked what size lemonade he would like.

TV Project Status Report

2011-12-27T13:38:00.000-06:00

Since when did I become a TV person? Since Netflix. An update on my Netflix TV projects and where I am on my (and your) favorite shows, with commentary, natch.

Friday Night Lights. (Buster's favorite) Just finished Season 3. Everyone should watch this, especially Julie. And everyone should totally skip Season 2, entirely.

The Good Wife. (Derek's favorite) Stuck on Season 2, Episode 4. (I watched 18 episodes of Season 1 in one day while dogsitting. #bestdayever?)

Sports Night. (Julie's favorite) In the queue.

The Wire. (Mia's favorite) On a flash drive plugged into my Playstation.

Party Down. (Jon's favorite). Finished. Restarted. Ready for the movie.

Luther. Waiting on Jon.

Justified. Just finished Season 1.

Breaking Bad. (Candice's favorite) On Season 4, Episode 2.

Louie. Only 2 episodes in.

Deadwood. (My favorite) Finished. Will someone please watch this?! Please. I will host.

Battlestar Galactica. Finished. Restarted.

Mad Men. Up to date. Hurry up!

Any more recommendations?

Award Season 1

2011-12-27T10:14:00.012-06:00

I was thinking of this earlier, but didn't post it. Jon's list on Michael Fassbender and Brad Pitt makes it somewhat relevant. Below are the Golden Globe Nominees for Best Actor in a Drama. Has there ever been a hotter list of actors nominated at any non-peoples-choice type awards? [I am going to research this.]

Best Actor
Michael Fassbender
Ryan Gosling
Brad Pitt
George Clooney
Leonardo DiCaprio

[To say nothing of Best Supporting Actor nominee Viggo.]

Conversely - 4 out of 5 on the Best Actress list are the older, respectable type. Huzzah!

Best Actress
Tilda Swinton
Viola Davis
Meryl Streep
Glenn Close
Rooney Mara

The Many Opinions of Alec Baldwin

2011-12-26T19:42:00.002-06:00

I'm home watching football and this ad for some credit card comes on the tv with Alec Baldwin and it got me to thinking about how different people perceive different things. And now I am going to share my thoughts.

ALEC BALDWIN
1. Average Joe - 30 Rock
2. Film Student - Glengarry Glen Ross
3. Film Buff - Miami Blues
4. Me - All of the above, Hunt for Red October, Beetlejuice, SNL

MICHAEL FASSBENDER
1. Average Joe - Who?
2. Film Student - Inglorious Basterds
3. Film Buff - A Dangerous Method/ Hunger
4. Me - See 2 and 3 and add Shame and anything else he does

CLAIRE DANES
1. Average Joe - Romeo and Juliet/ Terminator 3
2. Film Student - Igby Goes Down
3. Film Buff - The Hours
4. Me - Homeland and the fact that she's the most beautiful woman ever
5. Blaine - Stardust
6. Julie - My So Called Life

BRAD PITT
1. Average Joe - Snatch
2. Film Student - Fight Club
3. Film Buff - Tree of Life
4. Me - Moneyball

* I'm already tired but could go on and on...

The 20 Unhappiest People You Meet In The Comments Sections Of Year-End Lists

2011-12-15T16:18:00.006-06:00

I thought you year-end list-makers and -readers would enjoy this dead-on list from NPR's pop culture blog, Monkey See. --xo, jf

1. The Poisoned. "The fact that you included Adele on this list of 100 things you like makes it a total joke."

2. The Really Pretty Sure Person, Who Is Really Pretty Sure. "I've never seen Game Of Thrones, but I'm really pretty sure it's not as good as Boardwalk Empire."

3. The Person Who Is Exactly Right. "It really seems like this list of things you thought were good is just your opinion."

4. The Surprisingly Lucid Narcoleptic. "ZZZZZZZZZ" is the classic. "SNORE" and "YAWN" are acceptable variants.

5. The Mother Of Tim "Freckles" Matterley. "There is a musician in Ann Arbor named Tim Matterley who is better than all these songs! You would like his music. He has a web site at FrecklesMatterley.com, and you can get his songs free on your computer! Please check out Tim Matterley, who does not have a big record contract YET but is very very good!!!!" Two comments later, she will often come back. "Also, Tim Matterley is in this YouTube video where he plays 'Imagine' at a children hospital. I am just one fan but I think he is great and he will go far!!!"

6. The Read A Book Guy. "Not one of these movies is as good as reading a book." On a list of books, by the way, he will say none of the books is as good as books used to be. He also hates Kindles, which he may or may not mention.

7. The Self-Punisher. "I always hate your tastes, so I knew this would be a miserable and useless list before I decided to click on it and read the whole thing, and now I know I was right."

8. The Unwitting Outlier. "Has anyone really cared about George Clooney since ER?"

9. The Person With The Imperfect Grasp Of Obscurity. "These are all completely obscure picks nobody has ever heard of. The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo sounds like a Dr. Seuss book."

10. Harry The Hipster-Hater, Who Really, Really Hates Hipsters. "This is all hipster music. I guess it's okay for hipsters, but I'm not enough of a hipster to like hipster picks like this. Too bad I'm not hipster enough. Maybe I'd like it better if I were more of a hipster." [His username: "notahipstersorry."]

11. The Person Who Thinks You Were So Close. "I like all these picks, but you ranked The Descendants as your #4 and Martha Marcy May Marlene as your #5, and they should be the other way around. FAIL."

12. The Person Who Never Says Die. "Why isn't Arrested Development on this list?"

13. The Subject-Changer. "If we're talking about great comedy performances, I don't know how you can leave out [Barack Obama/the Republican debates/Occupy Wall Street/the Tea Party]. That was the funniest thing I saw all year."

14. The Minimalist. "These blow."

15. The Person Who Is Probably Too Hardcore For You. "The best film of the year was shot in Tokyo and the title translates to I [Bleep]ed Your Grandmother With A [Blank] And [Bleep] You Too. I guess that's probably a little too hardcore for you. You should get outside the multiplex once in a while."

16. The Person Who Is Laughing But Is Actually Not At All Amused. "You put Community on your list instead of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Ha ha ha yeah right."

17. The Concerned. "What's wrong with you? No, seriously, what's wrong with you?"

18. The Person Who Wanted To Be Surprised. "Uh, way to go out on a limb. These are the same things you've been talking about all year and saying were the best things when they came out in the first place."

19. The Disbelieving. "Really? Are you serious? Did you mean to leave off my favorite thing? Or did something happen? Did you forget it? Did you think it didn't come out this year? Did you write it down and then accidentally delete it in a technology mishap? Do you not know how to spell it? Really? Are you kidding?"

20. The Humble Alternative. "If you really want to know what the best choices of the year were, I put my list up at my site, KnittingWithDagmarAndLaura.com — it's not just about knitting!"

Fun Facts

2011-12-10T14:17:00.002-06:00

I don't know why these facts strike me as fascinating, but they do. I guess they either seem out of character or particularly illuminating. Would love for y'all to add new items in the comments, but I realize that this may be a solo obsession.

My boss at the Capitol, who was really amazing at her extremely difficult job and had a reputation as an ice queen, told us one day that she ate pizza for dinner almost every night.
One of my coworkers replaces her toothbrush every two weeks.
Newt Gingrich is an absolute freak for zoos.

Movies I Have Watched While Being Laid Up

2011-12-01T18:19:00.002-06:00

So, my back went out. I played ping pong for, like, three hours straight, and after the last game I made some kind of gesture with my hands that made my entire back give out on me (probably some kind of celebratory gesture). I fell to the floor of my game room where I remained for over two hours. Finally my friends CARRIED me to my sofa where I have been since Monday night. In that time I have watched the following movies:

Bend it Like Beckham - Cute movie and while Keira Knightly in her soccer uniform is worth the price of admission (in this case, free), I'm a little confused by the ending. *spoiler* why is it suddenly okay for the Indian girl to make out with the Irish coach at the airport?
30 Minutes or Less - Hilarious.
For Love of the Game - One of the worst baseball movies ever made (not counting comedies).
Pirates 4 - Really? I paid for this and didn't even finish it.
Sleeping Beauty - This is an "updated" "artsy" version where some young girl gets drugged and nailed by old perverted men. Sucked.
Super - Dwight (from the Office) plays a loser who decides to become a super hero, yada, yada, yada. Pretty funny but after Kick Ass, kinda lame.
The Dilemma - I can't believe this is a Ron Howard movie. Although, to be fair, Ron Howard isn't always consistent. The whole movie is based on Vince Vaughn being awkward and, oh yeah, him and the zookeeper having the hottest wives ever. Bullshit.
Gulliver's Travels - Jack Black. Remake. Got 30 minutes into it.
Unknown - This thing started off pretty awesome. Actually reminded me of a Hitchcock film. And then after the first act, once you figure out the twist, it goes downhill. Too bad. what's-her-name from Mad Men really needs to start getting naked to make it worthwhile to watch her horrible acting.
Strike Back - okay, this isn't a movie but I watched 10 episodes in a row so it should count as one. Basically like an R rated 24. So, loved it.

Last Night (Or: Why I Am Single)

2011-12-01T11:12:00.002-06:00

Against my better judgement, and only because I'd RSVPd, went to a tech-y, business-y launch event after work
Picked up nametag and immediately went to bar
Champagne, darling
Was so relieved to see someone I knew that, even though I never liked her all that much, I hugged her
Talked to her until she said it was time to "go make money"
Wandered aimlessly around room twice
Made eye contact with a pretty good looking guy, who was also alone and looked a bit lost
As he started to approach, I attempted a smile
Promptly swallowed gum instead
Made awful face and walked right past him
Out the door
All in 15 minutes
My biggest regret? Not trying the chicken

Reasons Why I Love This Commercial

2011-11-30T00:07:00.000-06:00

1. It is, without question, the best commercial ever made.
2. See above.

Goals for End of Year 2011

2011-11-09T17:34:00.000-06:00

I found this sitting on a coworker's desk the other day:

Movies I MUST Watch If They're On TV

2011-11-09T17:20:00.000-06:00

These movies come on tv all the time and I find myself watching at least one of them a week. (I watched Cocktail yesterday and I'm watching Gladiator right now.)

Coming to America
Backdraft
Cocktail
Liar Liar
Gladiator
X-Men
Tremors
The Quick and the Dead
Kindergarten Cop
Dumb and Dumber
License to Drive
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Ace Venture: Pet Detective
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal
Home Alone
Stand By Me

Shitty Marketing

2011-10-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

I got a catalog in the mail this week. Here is everything written on page 1 of this catalog, and my thoughts:

We know you... (Do you? Good! Sell me some stuff!)
In the summer, you think about winter. (False)
In the winter, you wake up at 5 a.m. (LMFAO)
to get to the first chair (What? I'm in band?)
You know what rock star parking is and how to get it. (What are you talking about?)
Or you just started riding and you love the rush of that first linked turn. [Looks at cover again.]
You can't sleep the night before a powder day. (Oh, I see. False.)
You know every secret hit on your favorite run or you just got your first-ever air. (False)
You're teaching your kids how to ski. (Now that is just really some terrible market research.)
You hike for 2 hours to snowboard for 10 minutes down an untouched run. (Who?)
You know that having friends on a powder day means the day will be that much better. (False)
You know that apres means after. (What does that have to do with anything?)
You ride because it's fun. (False)
We know you ... because we are just like you. (List.)

Last Four Subjects on My Phone's Camera Roll

2011-10-14T13:50:00.003-05:00

starting from most recent:

Gayle Simmons
Dolly Parton
My nephew
Derek with moustache sunglasses

Silent Auction committee

2011-10-13T19:00:00.003-05:00

How did these 4 women come to be on a committee together

Susie Cunningham
Berthica Fitzsimons
Bertha Sabir
Susie Streller

TV - Fall 2011

2011-10-12T01:04:00.000-05:00

I gave a lot of shows a chance this season (more than usual), so here's a list of where they fell out:

Winner:
Parks and Recreation

New dramas I will continue to watch:
Revenge
Prime Suspect
Homeland
American Horror Story

New shows that I think I like a lot, although I would hate them with different female leads:
The New Girl
Raising Hope
Up All Night
Free Agents

New shows I watched one (or more) full episodes of, but the additional episodes have confirmed they are pretty terrible, and I have stopped watching:
Terra Nova
Pan Am
Ringer
Person of Interest

New shows I watched less than 30 minutes of, and even that was too much:
The Playboy Club
2 Broke Girls
Hart of Dixie
Suburgatory
A Gifted Man

Returning shows I must realize sooner or later I just do not like and I am going to stop watching:
Community
Boardwalk Empire
The Office

Shows I wish had a new season this fall:
Game of Thrones
Mad Men

List anything birthday edition

2011-10-09T15:22:00.002-05:00

My Birthday was last week. I received cards from the following "people"

Grace Hoffman (my grandma)
Rhonda and Joe Morris (my fake in-laws)
Janice Vyrol (my insurance agent)
The McCombs School of Business
Sunglasses Hut
Starbucks

Reasons I Love This Commercial

2011-10-04T22:07:00.002-05:00

She is blind and has a walking stick. She would be able to figure out that there's a suitcase in front of her without some strange man moving it.
No way that guy plays soccer.
No way that girl WATCHES soccer.
People that good looking who ride public transportation live in New York or L.A. or Chicago and they would never, ever, be late for work to help some old man collect his "papers".
Thank GOD that man stopped that 2lb rubber tube from rolling into the sand. Whew!
That lady raking her leaves would have been like "bitch, worry about your own yard".
That guy is just a little creepy while he washes his car and looks at the ladies raking leaves.
Seriously? Who would leave a huge puddle of coffee on the break room floor?
Oh, that bitch who considers it a HUGE UNDERTAKING to hold a door for a BLIND WOMAN.

I seriously cannot stop laughing at the idea that the ONLY reason she held the door for the BLIND WOMAN was because she witnessed the miracle that was a co-worker cleaning up a mess on the floor.

Thank you, goodnight.

Missed Connections (Twitter Version)

2011-09-26T09:08:00.022-05:00

This weekend, 70,000+ people congregated on a small piece of land in mountainous West Virginia for the the #lsu -#wvu game. That meant no cell service, let alone a data connection. So here's the tweets that never made it out of my "drafts" folder.

1. Way to go #wvu for your forward-thinking campus transit! Such an inexpensive and efficient way to move 6 or fewer ppl at a time

2. Glad to see #wvu fans tailgating RV-style. But I think they actually live in these little guys

3. Made it to my seat. Not the best field view but GREAT view of #wvu's finest and a fence

4. The game has just started but its #wvu 1 - #lsu 0. #beerinthestands!

5. I've seen in DWI lawyer cards in #tigerland bars, but this was unexpected and awesome

6. The feather in one #lsu fan's cap after a hard fought on-the-road victory: a Pontiac Grand Prix limo ride back to the hotel

Paradise

2011-09-13T15:14:00.002-05:00

I was searching my itunes for the new Slow Club album, Paradise. It turns out I don't have it. I do however, have 12 other songs with the word paradise.

Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio
May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose - Little Jimmy Dickens
Almost Paradise (Love Theme from Footloose) - Mike Reno & Ann Wilson
Welcome to Paradise - Green Day
Paradise City - Guns N' Roses
Paradise Here Abouts - Howe Gelb
Trouble in Paradise - Huey Lews and The News
Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett
Paradise - New Order
Paradise Cove - Peter Yorn
Paradise is Here - Tina Turner
Fool's Paradise - Willie Nelson

Things I have ordered online since August 7

2011-08-21T15:40:00.002-05:00

The Weeknight Survival Cookbook: How to Make Healthy Meals in 10 Minutes

Victorinox 5-Inch Mini-Chef's Knife with Fibrox Handle

Anker 2 x 1900mAh Battery for HTC Sensation + Free Anker Multi-purpose USB Travel Charger

HTC Sensation

200 Plastic Collar Stays in a Box, 3 Sizes

Bausch & Lomb Sensitive Eyes Rewetting Drops, 1-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 3)

Syma S107/S107G R/C Helicopter - Colors may vary

Hamilton Beach 33967 Set 'n Forget 6-Quart Programmable Slow Cooker

The Shave Well Company a TRULY FOG FREE Shower Shave Mirror. Truly fogless by design. Will not fall off of the wall.

FoodSaver V2244 Advanced Design Vacuum Sealer

Toshiba Canvio Basics Portable Hard Drive 320 GB USB 2.0 External Hard Drive E05A032BAU2XK Black

FoodSaver T03-0006-01 Regular-Mouth Jar Sealer

Canon EOS Rebel T3 12.2 MP CMOS Digital SLR with 18-55mm IS II Lens and EOS HD Movie Mode (Black)

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4.0-5.6 IS Telephoto Zoom Lens for Canon Digital SLR Cameras

Tiffen 58mm UV Protection Filter

Canon EF 75-300mm f/4-5.6 III Telephoto Zoom Lens for Canon SLR Cameras

Canon PIXMA Pro9000 Mark II Inkjet Photo Printer (3295B002)

Weber cooking grids for Q300 & Q320

Glasses

Mates of State W/ The Generationals

Cole Haan Santa Barbara

Best/Worst Things I Have Heard Recently

2011-08-19T15:26:00.003-05:00

I found most of these in a file called "List Anything Drafts" (which is from 3+ years ago-ish and is either a gold mine or is full of stuff I've already used but don't recall. There was one list of 3 things called "Best Things I Have Said Recently," and it included this statement that I 1) do not remember saying 2) can not imagine saying: "To the guy in a the cowboy hat at the bar at Ginny's Little Longhorn: Are you just going to stare at me all night, or are you going to ask me to dance?") Anyway, here are some things I've heard. "Recently."

"I live in the neighborhood now. I just moved here 2 hours ago. Yeah, I live in the RV in Bobby's driveway."

I won't say who, or why I keep trying to get him/her to stop, but someone I know keeps using the term "tar baby" in conversation.

"Being in roller derby really taught me how to vamp."

"I'm going to let you two mingle." -- a lady I was enjoying talking to, though obviously the feeling was not mutual.

Intern: "Do you know Saxon Fox?"
Coworker1: "Hell, yeah."
Intern: "Is that a guy or a girl?"
Coworker1: "THAT. Is a Lady."
Coworker2: "That's a WOMAN!"
[laughter]
Intern: "Well, I was about to call her but didn't want to ask for Mr. or Ms. Saxon Fox..." [picks up phone] [puts phone down] "I can't do it right now."

"My children think that downtown is the place you come to see hobos, as they call them."

[YAWN] "It's about that time of day." From the night guard in my building. At 5 o'clock.

A lunchtime list

2011-07-21T16:36:00.000-05:00

Since J and I ran out of topics to discuss over our lunch of GreeNoodles(TM), I suggested we spend 20 minutes trying to think of all the one-named musicians we could, without looking anything up:

Aaliyah
Adele
Apollonia
Beyonce
Bjork
Bono
Brandi
Cher
Ciara
Diddy
Dido
Edge
Feist
Fergie
Goapele
Hammer
Kelis
Ke$ha
Kwame
Ledisi
Madonna
Maxwell
Monica
Morrissey
Nelly
Ne-Yo
Peaches
Prince
Rihanna
Sade
Sting
Timbaland
Tricky
Will.i.am

things i am excited about over the next 30 days

2011-06-16T22:16:00.002-05:00

the rest of my queue de grace on Vitagraph, American
finishing smokers (seriously close)
starting a new script
julie's post(s) about her family reunion
bad teacher, tree of life, captain america
losing another 10 lbs
getting ***** a bootleg copy of dexter season 5 to watch after she gets her wisdom teeth removed and therefore winning her over only to deny her afterwards
the series finales of the killing and game of thrones
evening out my farmer's tan
fourth of July (even though I'm not doing anything)
flying to TEXAS and seeing my favorite people in the world

The Hangover Part III

2011-06-09T22:40:00.002-05:00

This is what happened last weekend to the best of my memory (and not even my normal horrible memory) in order of how I remember it.

I made myself a pretty strong drink to prepare myself for a "date". For those of you who know me, I don't go on dates. This may have been my first ever.
Met ***** for dinner at a nearby sushi place. We had pleasant conversation and a nice dinner and a beer apiece.
***** thought it would be fun if we went to Pineapple Hill afterwards for some drinks and karaoke. I told her talking me into karaoke is about as difficult as talking a girl into shopping.
We arrived @ 8:30 (karaoke starts at 9) and had a couple of drinks and signed up for karaoke.

{a little background on Pineapple Hill. it - is - a - shithole. there is no stage. you get two wireless microphones and sing wherever you please. the clientele ranges from emo 21 year-olds to old married couples. karaoke ranges from the same. therefore it - is - awesome}

***** signed us up for the first song of the night (Rolling in the Deep). I told her I would sing with her but since I don't know the song AT ALL I mostly stood there with my mic in hand and watched her sing it. She did a good job considering.
We had a lot more drinks.
I signed us up for the second song of the night but told her it would be a surprise. About thirty minutes later it was our turn again and we sang Billionaire. Well, I SANG Billionaire (yes, including the rap part) and she stood holding the mic -- perhaps out of revenge, perhaps because she didn't know the song, or perhaps because I ROCKED THE SHIT out of it.
Many many more drinks (for the record, ***** drank bud light and I drank vodka sodas - this will come into play later).
We discussed the infinite possibilities of song choices (there is NO LIST) until finally realizing our shared love for Glee and then eventually chose Dream On as our next song.
I remember singing..."every time that I look in the mirror..."

.... THE NEXT MORNING .....

I woke up on the couch in my apartment to my roommate standing over me and grinning like an idiot. It was 7:00 am. My roommate is a nice guy, btw, but incredibly awkward and looks like the lovechild of Chris Farley and Harry (from Harry and the Hendersons).
Once I figured out where I was and why my head felt like I put a drill through it, my roommate smiled and said..."so I had an interesting morning." I asked him what he meant and he said..."I woke up to a girl in my bed. But once she realized I wasn't you she ran out of the room and slammed the door."
I jumped off the sofa and went into my room to find ***** waking up, obviously embarrassed. I asked her about ending up in my roommates bed and she said she had to use the bathroom and must have gone in THE WRONG DOOR.
She even remembered thinking "boy Jon sure does snore loudly". Which I think I do but that's besides the point.
It was at this point that we both realized that she wasn't wearing anything below the equator. Nothing. And apparently that's how she was when she accidentally ended up in bed with my roommate.
Twenty minutes later we found her pants and underwear under my bed and started to piece the night together.
I checked my bank account to discover that, between the two of us, we managed to ring up $115.00 tab at the bar. Again, she drank bud light.
Neither one of us remembers doing anything physical except, perhaps, holding hands on the walk home.
I later learned from a friend who showed up at the bar (and was concerned enough that he almost told the waitress to cut us off) that ***** and I sang yet another song before we left the bar. Pink's Please Don't Leave Me. He said it was pretty awful.
My left knee hurt really badly for the next couple of days and I have a bruise on my ass? Oh, and scratch marks on my side.
I will never show my face at Pineapple Hill again. For obvious reasons. And for that matter, should probably never go on a "date" again.

Pearls of Wisdom From My Mother

2011-06-08T15:14:00.004-05:00

I am looking forward to possibly adding to this list after all the togetherness of the family reunion next week.

My Mother On Farmville:

"I will never in my wildest dreams understand how somebody gets a kick out of clobbering somebody's groundhog or watering somebody's strawberries."

My Mother On a Self-Created Obligation:

"So no matter how negative and bitter she is, I try to call her once a week and listen to her complain. [pause, trying not to smile] I feel it's the Christian thing to do."

My Mother On Men:

"Never trust anyone with his hair slicked back without a part. Think about it--I'm right."

HEEYYYYY! These R frm mybestESTfriend f0r ever and ever forEVER!! (: ♥

2011-05-24T17:21:00.009-05:00

Tuesday...

Wednesday...

Thursday...
That's me kickin' it by the tree, and my BFF Ash hangin' in the hills under the sun!!!

Aaaaand - of course, Friday:

Publish Post

Horrible* Day

2011-05-17T20:35:00.002-05:00

*On a scale of Awesome to Actually Horrible, this day might fall more in the Mildly Annoying Category. But still.

Bad things happened.
I made a list.
I deleted that list.
You're welcome.

Mother's Day Special Screenings at the Alamo Drafthouse

2011-05-05T15:05:00.002-05:00

National Velvet
Mamma Mia
Steel Magnolias
Mommie Dearest

OKC Airport - I love you

2011-04-18T18:54:00.004-05:00

Observations from the bar by Gate 10

Very distressed Filipino bar tender. Do not order multiple items at a time she will flip out.

Traveling business man who orders a Mike's Hard Lemonade on ice because he is hot.

Someone who looks like he is related to the White's of West Virginia. He is looking a hotel room in Columbus Ohio that allows smoking and accepts corporate lodging. Whatever that means. - The Holiday Inn does not - he is distraught! He is also 5 ft 6in and weighs 100lbs. Note bartender does not like him.

Two hot guys watching baseball and playing on their computers.

Old man lawyer type eating chips and salsa.

Couple in mid 30's - Husband orders bud light in bottle - they only have draft so he gets a Guinness instead - really?!?! If this were Texas I would say they were Aggies - so prob went to OK State. But you get the picture. He is wearing cargo shorts and Oakley's

I so wish I could take pictures. No such luck with out being super obvious.

OMG....bartender is really trying to give guy with sleeveless shirt and camo hat chips and salsa since kitchen is now closed (at 7pm!) she just got pitcher of salsa out of fridge like it was a selling point.

Man i wish i had a video camera. this is pure gold.

People I Have Met

2011-03-30T12:03:00.001-05:00

Lt. Officer
Father Priest
Uncle Bubba

Movies I watch on a semiannual basis*

2011-03-15T17:39:00.000-05:00

*Non-comprehensive, but in roughly the order in which I began watching them on a semiannual basis.

Mary Poppins
The Jerk
Dirty Dancing
When Harry Met Sally
Hair
Fear of a Black Hat
Love Jones
Magnolia
The Matrix
Fight Club
Unbreakable
High Fidelity
Joe Dirt
Napoleon Dynamite
Bourne Trilogy
Kill Bills
Brick

Things my cat does impressions of

2011-03-02T18:57:00.000-06:00

Sounds:
Cow
Cow noisemaker, like from the film Delicatessen
Goat
Infant
Pigeon
Vibrating phone

Mannerisms:
Boxer
Bunny rabbit
Kangaroo

Things I Bought From A**z*n In February

2011-03-02T12:15:00.009-06:00

Why the Sleep Cycle App Is Awesome*

2011-02-21T12:57:00.003-06:00

It only costs 99 cents.
It monitors your sleep cycles (based on how much you're moving around) using the iPhone's accelerometer.
It taught me that the iPhone has an accelerometer, and also what that is.
It charts that s**t!
It wakes you up with your choice of pleasant sounds around the time you need to be up (default is a 30-minute window)--but it waits until you are in a light sleep, thereby avoiding the disoriented, groggy, can't-recover-all-day-long feeling that you get when jarred awake from deep sleep.
Did I mention the charts? Charts!
I actually feel really good today.

*All based on one night/morning of use

Things I Forgot to Talk to Boxcar About the Other Night

2011-02-10T21:29:00.002-06:00

Black Swan
Easy A
Why One of Those Is CLEARLY Superior to the Other

Pizza Night

2011-02-05T23:17:00.009-06:00

I had some people over tonight and we made pizzas. Here is everything we cooked:

Cheese
Pepperoni and red pepper
Margherita
Spinach, feta, red pepper
Pepperoni
Pepperoni, green olive, jalapeno
Pepperoni, garlic, red pepper, feta, spinach
Pepperoni, onion, red pepper
Boudin, garlic, basil, Tabasco
Peanut butter, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and Golden Crisp cereal

This is the cheese that we started with.

Here is the boudin pizza. I will make this again.

Here is the dessert before

And after. It was pretty damn good.

Things I like about my Galaxy tablet

2011-02-04T18:16:00.001-06:00

• The new Blogger app, JIT
• This bulletpoint dot I just found on the keyboard
• My German dictionary and travel apps
• Fits in my left hand (probably right also)
• Mobile Google Reader
• Reading Twitter is way easier on a touchscreen
• Swype!
• Austen loves gadgets like this, so he loaded everything for me
• Ease of usage in places like coffee shops, couches, and bathrooms
• Public domain book downloads (it pays for itself!)

PJenkins' Pre-2010-Oscar-Nomination Overkill

2011-01-25T00:53:00.004-06:00

It's that time of year! Oscar nominations are announced tomorrow morning, and with that in mind I present the following lists:

Things that will probably happen that will make me very, very happy:

Black Swan gets nominated for lots of things, including Cinematography and Directing (but not necessarily for Buster's dream girl)
The Fighter gets nominated for lots of things, including Editing and Directing and Costume Design (and maybe even Marky Mark?!)
True Grit gets nominated for lots of things, including Cinematography (give this man an Oscar already!)

Other things that might happen that would fill me with joy and delight (but I'm not holding my breath):

Never Let Me Go gets nominated for best Score
Blue Valentine pulls nominations for both Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams
Dianne Wiest, Jacki Weaver, Miranda Richardson, or Barbara Hershey get nominated for Best Supporting Actress (I like my older ladies)
I Am Love gets nominated for Cinematography

Other things that would make me jump up from the couch but these things won't happen and that's OK because then I won't spill my coffee all over myself:

Tilda Swinton gets nominated for I Am Love
Carey Mulligan gets nominated for Never Let Me Go
Never Let Me Go gets nominated for anything else (particularly Best Original Song)
Any of the ladies from Please Give get nominated
Winter's Bone gets nominated for Art Direction or Costume Design.

Things that would make me fly from my couch in an apoplectic orgy of surprise, horror, coffee burns, and total happiness:

Juliette Lewis gets nominated for knocking the little pink balls on the back of my socks off in Conviction. Have you seen this, people?

Things I find strange about my own picks (which are after the jump, as they say, if you'd care to read them (superlong list!)):

Three of my all-time favorite actors (of all time!) are up this year, and they aren't even in my own list! Sorry Robert Duvall, Jeff Bridges, and Sam Rockwell. Don't call me biased. I won't mind if they're in, though, obvs.
Two of my all-time favorite actresses are probably getting nominated this year but aren't even in my own list. Sorry to you too, Annette and Julianne. But let's be honest, this movie was no The Grifters or Safe.
A lot of these actors I did pick are rilly young.

Care to see for yourself? Jump!

Picture
Animal Kingdom
Black Swan
Blue Valentine
The Fighter
I Am Love
Never Let Me Go
The Social Network
True Grit
The Way Back
Winter's Bone

Director
Darren Aronofsky / Black Swan
David O. Russell / The Fighter
Luca Guadignino/ I Am Love
David Fincher / The Social Network
Joel and Ethan Coen / True Grit

Actor
Ryan Gosling / Blue Valentine
James Franco / 127 Hours
Mark Wahlberg / The Fighter
Colin Firth / The King's Speech
Jesse Eisenberg / The Social Network

Actress
Natalie Portman / Black Swan
Tilda Swinton / I Am Love
Michelle Williams / Blue Valentine
Carey Mulligan / Never Let Me Go
Nicole Kidman / Rabbit Hole

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale / The Fighter
Vincent Cassel / Black Swan
Andrew Garfield / Never Let Me Go
Jeremy Renner / The Town
Geoffrey Rush / The King's Speech

Supporting Actress
Jacki Weaver / Animal Kingdom
Rebecca Hall / Please Give
Amy Adams / The Fighter
Melissa Leo / The Fighter
Dianne Wiest / Rabbit Hole

Original Screenplay
Black Swan
Blue Valentine
The Fighter
I Am Love
The King's Speech

Adapted Screenplay
Never Let Me Go
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

Cinematography
127 Hours
Black Swan
I Am Love
Never Let Me Go
True Grit

Editing
Black Swan
The Fighter
I Am Love
The Social Network
True Grit

Art Direction
Black Swan
I Am Love
Inception
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Shutter Island

Score
127 Hours
The Ghost Writer
Never Let Me Go
The Social Network
The Way Back

Things in my dining room that don't belong

2011-01-25T00:35:00.004-06:00

Christmas Tree in box
Christmas tree skirt
3 purses
Electric drill
Austen's bathing suit
Wheely computer bag
2 Christmas gifts still in boxes
Styrofoam packaging from food processor

The Greatness of Neil Diamond

2011-01-24T17:01:00.004-06:00

I just read this blog post and started thinking about how Neil Diamond doesn't get nearly the credit he deserves as a songwriter these days. It seems like everyone's preoccupied with trying to be funny and/or ironic to really appreciate how awesome he is. These are some of my favorite Neil Diamond songs, with some of the greatest songwriting of all time.

PS - Happy 70th, Neil!

Cell Phones I've Owned

2011-01-07T12:09:00.002-06:00

In order from newest to oldest. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but I gotta be pretty close. Thanks to Amazon order history and Gmail archives, I have the actual dates from some of these. The others are just guesses.

HTC EVO 4G (September 13, 2010)
Blackberry Bold 9000 (November 13, 2008)
Blackberry Curve 8300 (October 28, 2007)
Motorola V360 (2007)
Nokia 6101 (2007)
Motorola SLVR L6 (August 28, 2006)
HTC Wizard (February 7, 2006)
Motorola v600 (August 13, 2004)
Nokia 6610 (2002)
Nokia 6210 (2001)
Nokia 8210 (2000)
Sony Ericsson T28 (1999)
Motorola MicroTAC 650 (1996)

Places I Miss in Austin

2011-01-06T15:51:00.002-06:00

In no particular order. I'm sure I'll think of more.

Holiday Movie Watching

2010-12-25T21:32:00.002-06:00

Inspired by Donald Glovers tweet this morning and my first retweet ever! I would link to it but can't figure out how to do that on iPad.

Here are some movies I have watched over the past 2 days in Blackjack and Humble

Romeo and Juliette ( Claire and Leo version)
The Proposal *
national Treasure
national Treasure 2*
the Town
return of the Jedi
transformers*

I am sure there will be more to come. In silent H town for 2 more days.......

* did not watch entire movie.

Found list Christmas edition 2010

2010-12-25T21:17:00.006-06:00

This is a list I found on the island at my parent's house about an hour before we had Christmas Dinner. My brother cooked all of Christmas Dinner - so I am not sure why she needed to make this list.

I originally wrote this post on Christmas Day, but I just now got around to downloading the picture from my blackberry.

Things I Had To Look Through On My Drive This Morning

2010-12-02T16:23:00.001-06:00

Jacked up eyeball
Dirty glasses (because I can't wear contacts with a jacked up eyeball, and I can't find my little glasses cleaning cloth - think pjenks in 2000)
Scratched and foggy sunglasses over my glasses (thanks to my Dad and the doctor who did his cataract surgery last year)
Filthy windshield
My own guilt at being late for work, yet again

Also, all of this in absolute silence because my radio still doesn't work.

Miss Beth

2010-10-29T11:08:00.000-05:00

Similar to Buster's latest list of someone else's found list, I give you Miss Beth's to-do list.

Things for Miss Beth to do

Go to bar and drink until midnight
Go home and party in undies
Skip work and go to party
Insult everyone
Get run out of town
Become a hermit

Celebrities That I Just Found Out Are Married to Other Celebrities (Named Ryan)

2010-10-21T18:37:00.002-05:00

Mandy Moore (to Ryan Adams)
Scarlett Johansson (to Ryan Reynolds)

Best (or Worst) List Ever

2010-10-14T13:03:00.004-05:00

Listicle Without Commentary: Products Found Alongside a One-Mile Stretch of Harrison Road, Columbia County, WI

• Marlboro Menthol, pack, empty

• McDonald's, large fry box, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Budweiser, can, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Orange Crush, bottle, 1/3 full

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Doral, pack, empty

• Culver's, paper cup, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Miller High Life, bottle, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Medical bracelet, J. Miller, DOB 03/08/67

• A&W, small coffee cup, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Wisconsin State Journal, Oct. 11, 2010, various incomplete sections

• Busch Lite, can, empty

overwhelming client meeting

2010-09-16T18:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had a meeting at a client's office, out of town. Originally there were going to be two of us going to the meeting but the client didn't want to pay for two of us, so I had to go alone. When I walked into the room yesterday morning, alone, there were at least 15 people already there. 3 or 4 more came in and out so I never got the exact count at any given time. These 18 (EIGHTEEN!) or so people were from 5 (FIVE!) different companies.

...And only me to answer questions and such, for 8 (EIGHT!) hours. (Yes, I want you to be amused, impressed, and sympathetic, all these things).

At the end of the meeting, I had managed to collect only 8 business cards from the following people (I have changed one letter in each name, for googling protection):

Okimasa Nokanishi, Company A
Hiraki Mochiki, Company B
Otsushi Sozuki, Company B
Haroshi Ochida, Company B
Shoji Moramoto, Company C
Alexandro Lora, Company D
Mashahi Yojima, Company D
Haroaki Abi, Company E

Three things I hope I never need to know how to do

2010-09-16T12:06:00.000-05:00

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/09/16/things.fall.off/

What the Internet Thinks I Look Like

2010-08-26T17:21:00.004-05:00

So I was trying to find information about a building lobby on Congress Avenue because a friend of a friend has just published a pretty awesome-looking book of photographs of high school football stadiums, and he's looking for a place to have a little party/hang some art. I did a Google image search for the building and found the assortment of pictures kind of puzzling. Of course I have googled myself many a time before, but never ever thought to Google Image myself. Here is what I found:

One picture of me, on the second row
One picture that I took that is posted somewhere on the UT School of Architecture's website
Oh wait--another picture of me
Lots of other so-called JFs, including one who appears to be a rodeo star
Downtown tv show logo
Lots of casualwear
A few scantily clad A&F models
Some beat-up-looking dude who seems to be giving a sports press conference
Meryl Streep
Julia Child
A book cover and a movie poster related to the above two
A calculator
Some line graphs
Lots of jeans folded to look like Ws

I highly recommend that you do this for yourself. This is, I think, my favorite JF image.

Emails I've received this month classified as 'High Importance'

2010-08-19T14:08:00.002-05:00

These are the subjects of the emails I've received in August with ! next to them

NEW Number
Astros Tickets for Friday August 13
Music Industry Accounting Position Open

Family Phone Calls This Week

2010-07-28T23:05:00.005-05:00

Me: Will it be weird if I go?
Mom: Weird? Why in the world would it be weird? Unless you MAKE it weird...

---------

Cousin: You mean you knew this the whole time we were talking yesterday, and you kept it to yourself?!
Me: Yeah, I just didn’t really think it was my place to--
Cousin: Hot damn! I can’t believe that.
Me: Ok, well, I don’t know if my mom has told your mom yet.
Cousin: Well, I’m pretty sure he knew that cat was out of the bag when he told me.

---------

Mom: [I can’t tell whether she’s laughing or crying] Now, you need to keep this to yourself, but it's kind of one of those Friday the 13th deals. Your dad asked whose birthday it was, and I said, “I think it’s one of the twins’.”
Me: I can’t make that promise.Will it be weird if I go?
Mom: Weird? Why in the world would it be weird? Unless you MAKE it weird...

---------

Cousin: You mean you knew this the whole time we were talking yesterday, and you kept it to yourself?!
Me: Yeah, I just didn’t really think it was my place to--
Cousin: Hot damn! I can’t believe that.
Me: Ok, well, I don’t know if my mom has told your mom yet.
Cousin: Well, I’m pretty sure he knew that cat was out of the bag when he told me.

---------

Mom: [I can’t tell whether she’s laughing or crying] Now, you need to keep this to yourself, but it's kind of one of those Friday the 13th deals. Your dad asked whose birthday it was, and I said, “I think it’s one of the twins’.”
Me: I can’t make that promise.

Songs That Make Peoples' Heads Loll

2010-07-18T18:00:00.003-05:00

Every time one of these songs comes on at a party, heads will loll. Try to keep still--can't be done.

Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
Sway - Dean Martin

What are some others?

Great Moments in My-My-My-My-My Boogie Shoes History

2010-07-16T16:31:00.007-05:00

In reverse chronological order:

Billy and Lauren's superfun jazz dance this week. This doesn't necessarily showcase the amazing technical skills that these two actually have, but I love it so so much. My favorite part is probably the easiest part of the whole routine, but I must have rewound it 8 times Wednesday night alone. At -1:25.

lauren billy 7 @ Yahoo! Video

All of Sports Night comes back to the office drunk after getting thrown out of a bar. Makes me nostalgic for the career that no one actually has. Skip to about 8 minutes in.

Making out with a stranger on the dance floor at a Shreveport club called The Reactor while K.C. and the Sunshine Band played LIVE. I have no video of this, but I can tell you that I was wearing a tshirt *tucked in* to plaid shorts, with matching socks and Dexters. Ah, Baylor days--you can see why I was so irresistible to that boy...

Overheard at the Family Reunion 2010

2010-06-18T15:30:00.004-05:00

I really should have kept better notes, but here goes.

"That girl was on drugs and really messed up my haircut. And I'm gonna tell her that, too. As soon as she gets out of jail."

"Those horses follow one right behind the other. Until one of 'em craps."

My brother to me, following a really unfortunate incident that I should have been able to avoid (I must stress that this is commentary, NOT a request):
"How 'bout that shirtless hug?"

My mom--in a cabin full of middle-aged sober women, including me--to the shirtless step-cousin, who had just given a drunken speech about how to avoid public drunkenness charges in Arkansas. Cheery voice.
"Well, that is just GREAT information for everyone in this room."

Guess who--when asked which movie he had just spent the last (I want to say 2 hours, but really more like) 10 minutes explaining. As a warning to me, I should add, when he found out I'm going to Italy.
"It's called Taken. Or Tooken--I'm not sure."

50-something man obsessed with his new fancy camera, to 8 year-old girl:
"Look--it's a close-up of the hair between your eyebrows."

A Good Spell, Anyway

2010-06-15T00:25:00.001-05:00

What I say - I've known her for 20 years.
What the Real Housewives of New York say - I know her for 20 years.
What my mom and aunts say - I've been knowing her for 20 years.

Ten of the worst things on Earth, according to PJenkins

2010-06-07T22:31:00.000-05:00

Not counting the really awful, terrible, life-threatening things, like oil spills, Sarah Palin, and suicide bombs.

Wasabi peas
Mosquitos
High school "friends" on Facebook
Jay Leno
Unruly eyebrows
Car payments
Hot electronic devices
Elevators with no circulation
Dry cuticles
Unsolicited (career, relationship, financial or general life) advice

Today's Status Updates

2010-05-28T13:37:00.004-05:00

It's a good feeling when you're at the gym and a guy comes up to you and asks if you need a spot and you smile and tell him this is just your warm up weight.
ցҽԵԵíղց ԹɑʍԹҽɾҽժ íՏ ցօօժ ƒօɾ Եհҽ Бօժվ!
Status Update: I can't contain myself this afternoon! Why is this office open until 5!? I have energy that must be released, and cubicle world isn't very receptive.
Uuggghh trip started out bad. Freckles went through my purse n ate 4 reese peanut butter cups two poptarts n the wrappers. Had to have wk make her puke it up. Sigh. Worried mama now
Happy Friday-we made it! It's going to be a fantastic day! :-)
Did u know that taking pics, txtn, and talking on the phone can have u driving on the wrong side of the rode? I think we should stop using our phone while operating a vehicle. Cops included because they drive reckless too. The next cop that I catch on the phone while driving or speeding w/ lights on just to get to the donut shop I am going to make a citizens arrest! I got a video camera n my car 2 officers!
WHO are these kids and WHY are they calling me MOM??? ;) LMAO
: I like my 1800 tequila on the rocks, and my 1792 kentucky bourbon straight up.. But tonite, just for Her, ive agree to do the white wine merlot. Damn, gotta give n frm time to time. Ive got the sweetest love..

What Just Happened

2010-05-06T23:56:00.004-05:00

Ate Schlotzsky's for dinner unaware that I had other options
Had cocktails and watched others eat at Parkside
Including a drink that I expected to be my local -Forecast- alternative, but was not
Went to the Alamo Ritz for Soft Rock Sing-Along
Inflated my inflatable fake microphone
Sang the s**t out of some Billy Joel, Elton John, Sting, etc.
Sulked during non-"Against All Odds" Phil Collins
Sulked a little more during the 90s and 00s songs
Complained a little bit to the friend of friend sitting next to me about how I might be over the sing-along
Approximately 0.00002 seconds later was on my feet waiting for everyone else to recognize the beginning strains of "Jessie's Girl"
Sang the s**t out of, among other songs, "Tiny Dancer" and "Don't Stop Believing"
Into my fake inflatable microphone
While dancing and waving my glow stick in the air like I just didn't care
Had this conversation while walking to cars and passing people heading out for Thursday Night on 6th Street: other girl "Oh, they look so young!" Boy walking the other direction: "Did you hear that? 'They look so young.' You look OLD." other girl: "Ok, well there's my minivan."

Things In The Freezer of A Girl I Met At Dinner

2010-05-06T23:52:00.002-05:00

Pet snake carcass (with same name as girl I met at dinner. belonged to her husband. waiting to be made into belt)
Bear skin
Alligator head with bullet hole
Two (2) bobcats

Stories of Interest - April 30 2010

2010-04-30T12:42:00.002-05:00

My igoogle CNN headlines today were all interesting to me. I hope they are to you too...in order of how I read them

Conan O'Brien: I would never do what Jay Leno did to me

How we became white people

iPhone finder regrets his 'mistake'

Today's Facebook Status Updates of Interest

2010-04-16T12:09:00.000-05:00

Lady at work (who broke her arm): I tried to brush my teeth this morning and all i can say is this is goin to be a long ass 6 weeeks.. but alease i will have my family at work to making my day!! i"m so bless to have so many concern friends at work!!
Guy friend from the past: excited about th bidet the wife set up for us.
Young girl I barely know: cranky muffin ; )
Girl from high school I do not even know: is up sick, sick, sick and Gage and Bo are snoring, snoring, snoring! I HATE this stomach virus, its worse than the last time I had it!
Girl from high school (and every other person on Facebook): It's gonna be a great day-TGIF!

People are funny, gross and stupid.

American Idol and Steve

2010-04-14T17:38:00.002-05:00

So, Steve voted last night and here are the results:
Chrystal = 3 times.
Andrew = 0 times.
Everyone else = 2 times.

At least, this is the information I got from my mom.

Things I Bought at Marshall's For The Same Amount I Thought I'd Spend on Item #1

2010-04-14T00:30:00.004-05:00

1. Trench Coat

2. Black Flats

3. Black Wedges

4. Printy Flats

5. Lamp (actually, 2 of these)

Some entertaining #LOST tweets tonight

2010-04-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

nwilliamson I love how Desmond often ends his sentences with Brotha #lost
ShusePDX Stupid #Lost, always splitting up the gang. You're worse than Scooby-Doo!
MrBShah Im convinced its the audience, not the ppl on the island that r #lost I hope the ending isnt open ended where u r left 2 open interpretation
LostVagabond RT @LostVagabond: RT @LostVagabond: Worst. Show. Ever. #LOST
wfehler @lonnietaylor #LOST is a mosquitos dream. #worstendingimagined
lunarobverse YES JACK JUST LISTEN GOD FUCK #LOST

Emails received at my yahoo address today

2010-04-13T21:22:00.002-05:00

From: A Place for Mom
Subject: Get_your_mom_or_dad_the_senior_care_they_need
From: Friendster
Subject: Photo tagging now available on Friendster!

Today's Popular Stories on MyFoxHouston.com

2010-04-13T18:33:00.006-05:00

someone sent me a link to story #1 and i just had to share the top stories...

County Approves Dynamo Stadium Deal
Watch the MyFoxHouston Glee Audition Finalists
Unusual Crash Slows 610 Loop
HISD Investigates Middle School Fights On YouTube
More Evidence in Death of 2 Baytown Teen Girls
Sick Couple Left to Eat Dog Food
View the Texas Primary Runoff Election Results
Police: Father Left Children in Car for Strip Club Visit
Girl Waiting for Bus Forced Into Car, Sexually Assaulted
4 Men Sentenced in Armored Car Robbery

I gave up on the links....this is from yesterday and i am too lazy to finish it out.

Happy Birthday, Julie!!!

2010-04-07T10:02:00.002-05:00

In honor of Julie's 25th birthday, here is a non-comprehensive list of things that will always remind me of Julia Fitch.

Sports Night
Car air conditioning
Night swimming (not the REM song)
Pub trivia
Hangovers
Maker's Mark
Country music
Dancing (of any kind)
Watch-checking during movies
Harry Connick Jr.
Brita pitcher
Evening (the book I still haven't read, not the time of day)
Being tired (in a good way because we stay up way too late)
The desire to write a novel
The desire for HER to write a novel
White cars
Betsy's
Photobooths
7-11

Starbucks Gold Level Rewards

2010-04-06T23:24:00.003-05:00

signs i spend too much money at Starbucks...i have reached gold level of My Starbucks Rewards. here are the perks:

Free birthday drink
2 continuous hours of free Wi-Fi daily
Free refills on brewed coffee and tea
Free flavored syrups
Free soymilk
Free tall (12 fl oz) beverage with every pound of coffee purchased
Exclusive offers & coupons
FREE DRINK EVERY 15 YEARS

Things that bear repeating

2010-04-06T23:19:00.000-05:00

I love Desmond
I love Desmond
I love Desmond
and Fionnula Flanagan.

Ralph

2010-04-04T12:19:00.006-05:00

This is what the side of our house looks like. Two garbage bins and one recycling bin. The following events occurred last week. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

One of the bins was halfway full. The other was empty.

Well, the empty bin wasn't ENTIRELY empty. It had a nice little puddle of rain water at the bottom (and a couple of buzzing flies).

Ralph was either asked to take a trash bag to the bin or he took it upon himself to actually contribute. Either way, it was, perhaps, the only time in history that he took out the trash and had to figure out on his own where to place it.

He chose to drop it in the otherwise empty bin. Right into the rainwater.

ME.

People in My Family That Have Crashed Computers in the Past Two Weeks

2010-04-02T17:33:00.002-05:00

My Step-Dad (the computer engineer)
My Brother (two separate occasions, two separate computers, same reason)

Things My Step-Dad Says That Confirm the Fact He Doesn't Know Me at All...

2010-04-02T17:33:00.001-05:00

Boy, Jon, you really would have enjoyed this canoe race I went to last weekend.

Step-dad

2010-04-02T14:35:00.002-05:00

I just got back from a brisk 3-mile walk and then spent an hour tearing up cardboard. It's a nice sunny day and I'm drenched in sweat (and happy about it).
I come in the kitchen to wash my hands when Steve comes down from his upstairs office. It's Friday and he decided to take the day off (which always brings me joy).
First? His outfit.

Dockers house slippers
black socks
pajama bottoms
button-up long-sleeve polo shirt (tucked in)
winter hat

So, we start talking about my upcoming move to California and while we're talking (couldn't tell you what we actually said because my mind wanders whenever he speaks) he starting making the following lunch...

Toasted rye bread
butter (not a little)
american cheese (two slices)
ketchup

He then proceeded to put the bread together (which formed some kind of vomit sandwich) and eat it.

I need a shower.

Facebook Status Updates - 2010 Version

2010-03-30T22:47:00.003-05:00

based on most recent:

8 min ago - Guy I used to work with became a fan of Best Buy
27 min ago - Girl I went to elementary school with: It is my cats birthday today. She is 5 which means that if your pets birthday is multiplied by 7 to equal us in human years then she is officially older than me now.....hmmmm not sure what to think of that one.
29 min ago - My Cousin's fiance: probably one of the best days ever.....work was good, dinner was great, my night was fantastic...until people started getting sick lol...dannnng it
36 min ago - same girl i went to elementary school with: Anyone else want to do my laundry I need to fold and put it up but I keep running out of time and now I am sleepy again.
50 min ago - wife of high school friend of my boyfriend : congrats to the Oklahoma women - Final Four bound!
about an hour ago - same girl i went to elementary school with: supermom does it again! K**** put his foot through his bedroom window and I managed to bandage it and replace the window with a new one all by myself.

Hyatt Lost Pines -

2010-03-23T01:09:00.005-05:00

I am at a tax conference for the next 2 days at the Hyatt Lost Pines (that new resort in between Basrtop and Austin) Here is a list of activities listed on the brochure that I received from Beth when I checked in

at the Renegade Trailhead

Armadillo Trail Rides
Hyatt Trail Rides
Lost Pines Trail Rides
Pony Rides
Archery
Skeet Shooting
Horse Camp

In case you aren't into horse activities there is also...

tennis
disc golf
pool
slide
adult hot tub
towel corral
bike rentals
game room
fire pit

PJenkins' Southwest Airlines Flight Tips, circa 2004

2010-03-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

THE BACKGROUND

Inspired by Boxcar's post I would like to post my own flight tips provided to Buster in response to his question:

"i am flying southwest. what is the procedure with southwest? if you look at your reward deal on the internet, it shows your upcoming flights, and i have none on mine, which is my question. I am leaving thursday night and coming back monday morning. I have no idea what i am supposed to do, and i don't feel like finding out for myself. since you are an experienced traveler, you should tell me exactly what i should do, so i know what i am doing as far as where to go when i get to the airport, and what do do once i get there, and how early to get there. I haven't flown since 1999. and i am a retard."

THE LIST

#1. You need to print that receipt out for both you and Matt and also
write on it your rapid rewards number.

#2. Take your drivers license.

#3. Being a professional traveler, I would get there at 530. Being
unsure of where to park and what to do, I would get to the airport at
500. It is the Austin airport remember. You would have to be
retarded to get there any earlier than 5. Now that I have said that,
you should go ahead and get there 2 hours early.

#4. Go to the southwest ticket counter, which is on the left side.
Pull out your drivers license. Do not pull out the dorky email
printout unless there is a problem.
They will say, "where are you headed" or "destination" and you will
say, "Tampa" Do not say "Tampa Bay" - cool, professional travelers
just say "Tampa"

#5. OR ! you can check in at the kiosk by simply swiping your credit
card and it prints your boarding pass and this is faster but means you
can not check your luggage (Unless you are smart like me but that is
too much work to talk about) and then you also could not do #6

#6 Ask the lady when she is almost done - Can you check and see if
they put my rapid rewards number on there. and only pull out the
dorky itinerary printout if she says no and asks you the number.

#7. Check your bags with the lady - if you are checking bags. I
always check my bag because you don't want to be the asshole who can't
find a spot in the overhead bin for your bag.

#8. Proceed WITH BOARDING PASS to security. Remove your watch,
belt, change, and other metal stuff and put it in your carry on bag so
you do not have to waste everyone's time taking it out of your pockets
and putting it in a bowl. Wear flip flops so you do not have to take
off your shoes. Keep your drivers license and your boarding pass in
your pocket. Go thru security.

#9 - maybe maybe not get strip searched

#10 - go to gate. Wait. If you have a boarding pass that says A on
it - do not get in line until the line is moving. People who have As
and stand in line are stupid. You will get a good seat even if you
are the very last A. If you have a B, watch and see when people start
getting in the B line. When a few people are in the B line, you will
want to walk over the B line and stand in it also but you will want to
look like you don't REALLY care whether or not you get a good seat,
you are just standing in line because it's just another place to stand
and who cares? you're cool with whatever. Because if you get in the
front of the B line you can get a good seat. if you get in the back
of the b line, you will be sitting between say, Anne Newman* and Glenn**.
If you have a C on your boarding pass, go buy headphones , a
magazine, and spray febreeze in your nostrils. YOu will have a crappy
seat. The A, B, C is determined by time of check in - if you get
there at 430 - you will have an A for sure. Id say you're still safe at
5pm.

#11 - board the plane. Board the plane and be sure to say "Have a
great day" to the lady checking your boarding pass, becuase then she
will know that you are not scared at all, but so confident taht you
will land safely and have a good day taht you want her to have one too
and are able to tell her so.

#12 - Walk on the plane and figure out -== "where is the hottest
person on this plane going to sit and how can I sit in just the right
spot where they will be free to talk to me but not forced to do so and
then we will get married - or at least make out while in [destination]
(in your case Tampa). This is the hardest part of the trip.

#13 - sit down wherever you want and buckle your seatbelt before the
lady has to tell you to do it.

#14 - DO NOT TRY TO TURN ON THE A/C UNTIL YOU ARE IN THE AIR. People
look so dumb fiddling with that thing when it will not work until we
are flying, stupid guy!

#15 - Pray.

#16 - Order bloody mary mix and enjoy peanuts. Do not look stupid
trying to open your peanuts but hopefully open them on the first try.
Do not spill peanuts all over the floor. Do not spill bloody mary mix
all over your shirt.

#17 - Read magazine and if the hot person on the plane is also reading
the same magazine as you are, be sure and hold your magazine up (not
obviously) so that they will know how much you have in common and say
to themselves, "hey, that cute guy reads the economist too! which is
especially cool because you are wearing flipflops and not stodgy
economist clothes).

#18 - that's about all i can think of. wash your hands if you use the
restroom and remember your stuff when you get off the plane. try as
hard as you can to stand next to the hot person at baggage claim but
chances are s/he has only carryons - leather bag from Kenneth Cole***
probably - and just walked right on out of the airport into the car
with someone way hotter than you. Look for Stephen, tell him hi,
remember why you are there in the first place, and acknowledge that
you will have way more fun with Stephen than you would have with the
probably boring hot person who chances are listens to either remixes of
cyndi lauper songs or the greatest hits from andrew lloyd webber.

#19 - Have a great time, dude!

_________________________________________________________________
* Big, fat US history teacher at Marshall High School. A wonderful woman,just large.
** Our grandfather. Old, yellow hair. Smells like Aquanet, Brut, and old cotton.
*** Shut up. It was 2004, people.

Disclaimer: These no longer apply completely, due to the revised boarding policy.

Flight Tips

2010-03-16T12:50:00.004-05:00

I do not fly often, so since I'm traveling tomorrow I thought I'd glance over the TSA's list of prohibited items (I was concerned about my razor refills) and came upon some very useful information.
I left out the OBVIOUS prohibited items but thought you'd like to know that the following items are NOT allowed as carry-on:

Sharp Objects...

Ice Axes
Ice Picks
Meat Cleavers
Sabers
Swords

Sporting Goods...

Bows and Arrows
Spear Guns

Guns and Firearms...

*Gun Lighters

*Permitted in checked baggage only if it does not contain lighter fluid

Tools...

Hatchets
Cattle Prods
Crowbars
Saws

Martial Arts and Self Defense Items...

Billy Clubs
Black Jacks
Kubatons
Throwing Stars

(and my personal favorite) Explosive and Flammable Materials, Disabling Chemicals, & other DANGEROUS Items...

Blasting Caps
Dynamite
Hand Grenades
Plastic Explosives
Realistic Replicas of Explosives
Gas Torches

p.s. I did not make up ANY of these.

a non-comprehensive list of songs I hate on albums I otherwise love

2010-03-14T10:49:00.001-05:00

Car Wheels on a Gravel Road --- Lucinda Williams, Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
Man Burning --- Josh Ritter, Hello Starling
Under Your Charms --- Josh Rouse, 1972
Tin Man --- The Avett Brothers, I and Love and You
Don't Stop* --- Fleetwood Mac, Rumours

* I blame Bill Clinton.

Step Dad

2010-03-11T10:46:00.002-06:00

I was helping my mom clean out yet another room today and came across a few things that I felt needed to be photographed. These are just a few things that my step-dad will NOT throw away.

1. Um...

2. Look closely at the date...1980. And notice, please, there is an entire STACK of these "receipts"

3. Again, notice the date. 1982. This is a contract for Encyclopedia Brittanicas.

4. I counted a total of 7 of these computer monitors throughout the house.

5. I can't tell you how many mornings I wake up to Steve getting his morning workout in. He truly is the Body Champ.

12 favorite things on TV in the past 72 hours (including DVR), with limited commentary

2010-03-09T01:47:00.002-06:00

Michelle Pfeiffer presents Jeff Bridges. It was like my TV turned into my fairy godmother.
Pageant Talk please, every week
Will Forte's "Women's Herstory: Did You See What I Did There?" (especially at the 41:50 mark)
Abed's Don Draper I am a convert
Anything bad happening to Brandy and Carol on The Amazing Race. Where do they find these people?
Jet and Cord: "check" and drunk
Robert Downey Jr's entrance on Jimmy Kimmel's show and the rest of the show for that matter
Babs! boobs!
Kathryn Bigelow, obviously
Sandra Bullock, undisputedly
What Up With That? , as always
annnnnnnnnnnnnnd, the end of basketball season, thankfully

No Guts, No Glory (Academy Award Edition)

2010-03-07T15:01:00.002-06:00

Best Picture: Avatar
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Original Screenplay: Inglourious Basterds
Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air
Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actress: Carey Mulligan
Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Editing: The Hurt Locker
Art Direction: Avatar
Sound: The Hurt Locker
Sound Editing: Avatar
Cinematography: Avatar
Costumes: The Young Victoria
Documentary: The Cove
Documentary Short: China's Unnatural Disaster
Foreign Language: Un Prophete
Animated Film: Up
Animated Short: Loaf and Death
Live Action Short: Abracadabra
Makeup: Star Trek
Score: Up
Song: The Weary Kind
Visual Effects: Avatar

Things I Have Enjoyed This Year So Far

2010-03-01T16:03:00.003-06:00

Captain Obvious (step-dad) saying the following: "This ranch dressing taste different from thousand island" AND "when it's sudden death in a Hockey game, it's a coin toss".
The pimple-faced, 19-year-old, wearing an Office Depot shirt, getting my attention in line at Starbucks and asking me the following: "Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question? I'm trying to start up my own business as a life coach and...I just...I'm not sure where to start. I've gotten really good at reading faces and body language but now, I just don't know...do you have any advice?" -- my reply after realizing he was serious..."Um, maybe look it up online and see what other life coaches are doing?" -- what I WANTED to say "Um, maybe find another line of work since you're asking someone who is 36, unemployed and living with his parents if he has any advice on how to be a LIFE COACH."

Ice Dancing Music

2010-02-23T01:07:00.003-06:00

Earlier this evening while waiting on ice dancing to start, I thought to myself:

"What music would I enjoy hearing in an ice dancing performance?"

In order, my answers to myself (all movie music):

In the Mood for Love
Requiem for a Dream
Blue (or, Bleu)

And then those Frenchies went and did a routine to....(no, not Bleu, silly)....Requiem for a Dream! And it was as crazy as Sara Goldfarb in a tight, red dress!

a non-comprehensive list of things I owe to Julie

2010-02-22T20:03:00.000-06:00

my craziness for The Frug
Bob Fosse in general
my refined taste in bourbon
Curb Your Enthusiasm
if I ever watch it, Sports Night
Buddy & Julie Miller
hopefully soon, an understanding of "counting" foods
knowledge of the Immersion Blender
my stint in 78704
my new (second-)favorite poster
Devs
the goosebumps I hope to get watching Ice Dancing tonight

(please, no more of this gimmicky shit!)

12 recent obsessions

2010-02-20T13:44:00.001-06:00

my weight
stretching
things you can do with ground turkey*
magical brussel sprouts
magical French crystals aka Oscillococcinum
M&M's
my parents' finances
the value of big marble balls
dining out
cooking in
organization
Norwegians, namely Aksel Lund Svindal and those curling pants**

--in related news--
ongoing obession: Academy Awards
revived obsession: Netflix
upcoming obsession: Michael Fassbender

___

*by "things" I mean "meals" and by "do" I mean "cook"
** I think the new goal of my weight loss plan is to wear those pants to the Shell Houston Open. Happy Easter!

Auction items I have purchased...

2010-02-20T02:59:00.000-06:00

... in the last 8 years, at the EHS auction (list requested by KNH).

Dusty Mangum autographed football
Neil Diamond album cover, autographed and framed (for my dad)
"Feminine Purse" (for Karen, or whomever)*
Lightweight running jacket
Marble Ball on Stand

*this is the item's title in the auction book

list anything

Please Don't Talk To Me About My Items, Really Nice Whole Foods Lady

Movie highlights (January 2012)

Fictional characters I am in love with...

make that 4 things....

3 things

Things I am selling in the garage sale tomorrow

Things Leslie Knope Is Pro

Acts performing at the Houston Rodeo that I have never heard of

Tidbits on getting old

Awesome Songs I Heard On My Car Radio Today

School Papers

Things I Saw Around the Ark-La-Tex Today

Quotes in my Blackberry's "MemoPad"

TV Project Status Report

Award Season 1

The Many Opinions of Alec Baldwin

The 20 Unhappiest People You Meet In The Comments Sections Of Year-End Lists

Fun Facts

Movies I Have Watched While Being Laid Up

Last Night (Or: Why I Am Single)

Reasons Why I Love This Commercial

Goals for End of Year 2011

Movies I MUST Watch If They're On TV

Shitty Marketing

Last Four Subjects on My Phone's Camera Roll

Silent Auction committee

TV - Fall 2011

List anything birthday edition

Reasons I Love This Commercial

Missed Connections (Twitter Version)

Paradise

Things I have ordered online since August 7

Best/Worst Things I Have Heard Recently

A lunchtime list

things i am excited about over the next 30 days

The Hangover Part III

Pearls of Wisdom From My Mother

HEEYYYYY! These R frm mybestESTfriend f0r ever and ever forEVER!! (: ♥

Horrible* Day

Mother's Day Special Screenings at the Alamo Drafthouse

OKC Airport - I love you

People I Have Met

Movies I watch on a semiannual basis*

Things my cat does impressions of

Things I Bought From A**z*n In February

Why the Sleep Cycle App Is Awesome*

Things I Forgot to Talk to Boxcar About the Other Night

Pizza Night

Things I like about my Galaxy tablet

PJenkins' Pre-2010-Oscar-Nomination Overkill

Things in my dining room that don't belong

The Greatness of Neil Diamond

Cell Phones I've Owned

Places I Miss in Austin

Holiday Movie Watching

Found list Christmas edition 2010

Things I Had To Look Through On My Drive This Morning

Miss Beth

Celebrities That I Just Found Out Are Married to Other Celebrities (Named Ryan)

Best (or Worst) List Ever

overwhelming client meeting

Three things I hope I never need to know how to do

What the Internet Thinks I Look Like

Emails I've received this month classified as 'High Importance'

Family Phone Calls This Week

Songs That Make Peoples' Heads Loll

Great Moments in My-My-My-My-My Boogie Shoes History

Overheard at the Family Reunion 2010

A Good Spell, Anyway

Ten of the worst things on Earth, according to PJenkins

Today's Status Updates

It's a good feeling when you're at the gym and a guy comes up to you and asks if you need a spot and you smile and tell him this is just your warm up weight.

ցҽԵԵíղց ԹɑʍԹҽɾҽժ íՏ ցօօժ ƒօɾ Եհҽ Бօժվ!

Status Update: I can't contain myself this afternoon! Why is this office open until 5!? I have energy that must be released, and cubicle world isn't very receptive.

Uuggghh trip started out bad. Freckles went through my purse n ate 4 reese peanut butter cups two poptarts n the wrappers. Had to have wk make her puke it up. Sigh. Worried mama now

Happy Friday-we made it! It's going to be a fantastic day! :-)

WHO are these kids and WHY are they calling me MOM??? ;) LMAO

: I like my 1800 tequila on the rocks, and my 1792 kentucky bourbon straight up.. But tonite, just for Her, ive agree to do the white wine merlot. Damn, gotta give n frm time to time. Ive got the sweetest love..

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