Challenge accepted: Perfect Casts - OTTOMH

This is pretty difficult. Bear with me as I'm gonna go long as I do this off the top of my head....OTTOMH (a new list genre!). Some of these will be pretty obvious.

Champion:  (Personal favorite, most obvious, but try to prove me wrong)  What's Up, Doc?

Any movie that introduced Madeline Kahn to the world would make this list, but as Eunice Burns? And give Barbra Streisand those lines and that hat? And then add Austin Pendleton, Kenneth Mars, Randy Quaid, and Boss Hogg, and the guy who plays Judge Maxwell, and even your head waiter, Rudy? And, uh, ahem, Ryan O'Neal?  Perfect.

Here's a list of 21(!) movies (sorry, couldn't stop), in no particular order (after 1 & 2), that I can't think of a character I'd recast:

1. Casablanca
2. Harold and Maude
3. Moonrise Kingdom
4. The Fabulous Baker Boys
5. Gosford Park
6. The Grifters
7. Anatomy of a Murder
8. Out of Sight
9. Jackie Brown
10. Tootsie
11. The Big Lebowski
12. Passion Fish
13. A Mighty Wind
14. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
15. American Splendor
16. Nine to Five
17. Notorious
18. Murder by Death
19. Jaws
20. Bull Durham
21. Ghost World
 
Looking forward to comments!

Blame Canada?

In the spirit of Boxcar's questionable list, here is my own. I found a befuddling piece of paper in the middle of several pages of notes I took at a conference in Chicago two years ago. The page contains only these words, and they are listed along the left margin in the vertical center of the page.

washroom
project
process
Dundas
serviette
expropriation
mullet

I can only guess that I was watching a Canadian speaker and making note of Canadian pronunciations and...hairstyles?

More *Parks & Recreation* Lists

Tonight's episode "Swing Vote" was full of lists, so many lists!  And other great moments. like a double thumbs up from Chris and a double thumbs up from Tom.

The lists are after the jump --- spoiler alert!

Sometimes jazz does indeed suck

Some of you like to make fun of me for listening to jazz. Sometimes I get defensive, and I say to you, "No, please listen to this. It is so good. You will like it." Sometimes I say, "Holy shit. You people are right. Jazz sucks."

To prove your point, I offer the list of what I (to date) consider the worst songs I have ever heard, or at least the worst songs I have ever heard on the XM radio station, Real Jazz (XM67).

In posting this list, I am also saying, "Please listen to these."

(Just like I begged you to eat that gross thing that one time. And listen to the whole thing! But do not listen to all three in one sitting.)

1. Farmer's Market  by King Pleasure & Annie Ross Listen!
2. You've Got to Have Freedom by Pharaoh Sanders Listen!
3. Twisted by Lambert & Hendricks & Ross  Listen!

Haha. Please note: I've had these saved on my Shazam tags, one of them for weeks. I just noticed, just now, that Ross is a repeat offender. I hate her.

The Worst Parts About Today's Training

1. It was media training.
2. Which involved mock on-camera interviews.
3. In high def.
4. In front of my coworkers and board members.
5. Though my eyes looked superblue, my lips were flesh colored, and oh-em-gee do my eyes always blink one at a time/twitch like that?
6. I said, "Bleah" and went for a do-over.
7. Which was the only time I smiled.
8. Immediate post-interview critiques!
9. While watching/pausing the playback.
10. My deodorant was not up for the challenge.

Boxcar's Top Five Remakes of All Time (LIST CHALLENGE)

So, here we are.  Yep.  This is me inspiring all of you to start making lists.  I am going to start with remakes because I realized tonight that ******** is a fucking amazing movie (let alone, remake) and it got me thinking...what if I challenged everyone to make their own top 5 list of WHATEVER GENRE you want?  Julie, I want to know your top 5 dance movies.  Austen, I want to know your top 5 movies that make you crave hot dogs.  Whatever.  Just do it.  And not in comments.  Comments are for all of you (me) to shit all over whatever I (you) say.  So without further ado, my top 5 remakes.  In order.  Yeah, that's right.

5. The Departed

Based on Infernal Affairs, The Departed truly departs from the original material and is updated brilliantly for modern (American) audiences.  Sure they made a few minor changes but overall Martin Scorsese delivered a beautiful, gritty crime drama that has yet to be rivaled in terms of acting and writing.  Well, that's not true but bare with me.


4. The Thomas Crown Affair

This isn't a perfect movie.  In fact, after watching you will be left scratching your head asking "how did he possibly steal that last painting?"  But I don't care.  It's stylish and creative and the final scene has Nina Simone singing Sinner Man.  What else can you ask for?  Oh yeah, and Rene Russo shows her tits.  You're welcome Austen.
3. Last Man Standing

What?  Am I on crack?  Answer, yes.  In truth this is not a very good movie but I had to, HAD TO, include it based on one simple fact: THIS WAS WRITTEN BY DASHIELLE HAMMETT!!!!  DAMMITT!!  The reason I am so bothered by this is the fact that Red Harvest is one of my favorite books ever written and it has been adapted several times yet nobody has given it credit.  Isn't that weird?  First of all, it was adapted as YOJIMBO.  Then it was adapted as A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, and finally, LAST MAN STANDING.  And yes, both Yojimbo and Fistful of Dollars are better than Last Man Standing but I just wanted to have a voice, dammit.  Besides, it's a really fun movie with a lot of shooting so it remains #3.
2. 3:10 to Yuma

This movie is fucking awesome.  I'm not saying it's the best western ever made (although it just may make my top 5) and I'm not saying it's the best action movie, but it's DEFINITELY the 2nd best remake ever made.  If you want to know why, watch the original.  If you can stay awake.  I did stay awake and I even saw it before the remake but this was INCREDIBLY well done.  My only complaint (and the more I think about it the more I don't think it's a complaint) is that Russell Crowe and Christian Bale could have switched parts and made it maybe better.  So good.
1. Ocean's 11

This is a great fucking movie.  A great buddy movie.  A great heist movie.  A great comedy.  A great action movie.  But what REALLY makes it great is that it is LIGHT YEARS better than the original.  I have seen the original.  For real.  And I really really liked it.  I especially like the ending.  But as far as comparing originals to remakes this one takes the cake.  And it doesn't hurt that it's the best casted movie I've ever seen (uh oh, did I just make Porn Jenkins start his list?).

The only characters in "Top of the Lake" that I might want to spend more than 5 minutes with are

1. Caroline Platt
2. Little Shane 

 Please note that Little Shane is only included to make this a list rather than just a sentence.

Commercials That Suck

1. This piece of shit seems to play during every sporting event I watch.  If I had money I would open a chase account just to close it.

2. I have never wanted to punch a fake person more than this guy.  And all of his fake stupid friends.  And really?  They're ALL drinking corona at a fancy bar in New York on a rainy day?  And who doesn't want a tray of olives with their Corona?

3. If you haven't seen this one I apologize for introducing it to you.  But I shouldn't have to suffer alone.  Whoever came up with this idea should be dangled outside of a high window and forced to listen to this for hours.  And are we supposed to believe that the really good-looking couple rehearsed this or just coincidentally both came up with same idea to sing the same song and use the same app? I don't understand.

 4.This makes me angry because Allstate already has good funny commercials with Dennis Duffy.  So why annoy us with this crap?

5.This one makes my blood boil.  Not only because it says NOTHING about the product (other than you can snap it and dance with it) but every new dancing group of assholes is worst than the last.

Movie titles/ Character names?

While flipping through my notebook today as I get ready to write I came across this little gem I must have written two years ago or so.  I do not remember it at all.  Good thing I wrote it down:

White

White

Black

Blue

Benton           Hard boiled

Love

French Kiss

Mann

Gray

Brown

And then came

Winter             Fredric?

                 The Long Winter

                 Winter’s Chase

Hard Winter

Somer

Summer

Boss's Password Post-It

Went drop something off on her desk. Couldn't help but notice.

• jetset
• fabulous
• fabulous01
• powerlady
• powerbroker
• happylife
• moneymaker

Reasons why P. Jenks is one of my favorite people on this planet

• He makes me laugh.  And not in a "he's very funny" kind of way but he ALWAYS makes me laugh even when he's not here.  He's always in my head.  Everything I watch or listen to or see makes me think about what he would think or say and that makes me laugh.  That's rare.
• He has supported me and everyone else in everything I/they do.  That's not to mean that others don't, just that he has.  I can't speak for him publicly but as far as I know he has always supported me in my pursuit of writing and considering how smart he is I take that as high compliment.
• Movies are my life and he has taught me more about movies than anyone else (including myself).  As many of you know I have a horrible memory yet I can vividly recall almost every movie outing we have done together including random movies on cable hungover and his insight has always made me smarter. 
• And speaking of smarter, he is the smartest person I know.  I am constantly amazed at his trivial knowledge but more importantly, his recent (past 10 years or so) open-mindedness has propelled him into a new level of intelligence that is unparalleled.  And he read one of my scripts before I woke up and gave me incredible insight (considering it took me ten years to write I found that impressive).
• He has great taste.  I guess that's a personal opinion but I think anyone reading can agree that P. Jenks has probably lent more to the cause of "all of us being smarter and having better taste in things" than anybody else in this list.  If you disagree or are hurt by that statement I apologize.  But I like to think that I have good taste and P. Jenks is directly responsible for most of that.
• Everyone loves him.  Everyone.  I know that he, sometimes, feels like that's not true but I've never known another human being to be so likeable and understanding and funny and smart.  Personally I can't stand most people and won't waste the energy having a conversation with them but he always does and he truly sees the best in people and I am in awe of that.
• He can make the most boring afternoon memorable.
• When I think about our group (this being one of them)...he is, without question, the glue.  I guess I should have just said "he is the glue".
• Nobody else on this planet makes me feel like I'm part of something special and that life is just one giant inside joke between us.  I see it in movies (poorly done) and tv shows but with P. Jenks, it's real. And I think he has that with a lot of people and normally I would be jealous but that just makes me love him that much more.
• When we first started getting to know each other I went to the grocery store with him because he had to go re-buy all of his groceries (because he accidentally left without them and instead of just going back and admitting it he chose to re-pay for everything).  I have never forgotten that and it has become a fond memory.
• He is, most likely, not happy that I mentioned the above incident.  Fitting.  Yet I'm pretty sure everyone in this group either knows about it or can see it happening.
• When he came to visit me in California he made an impact on all of my friends and, more importantly, made me feel better about living here with one sentence.  One sentence.  That's impressive.
• He loves his family more than anything else in the world.
• When we first met and became besties I never thought I would be able to bring all of my friends together (Jim, Ryan, etc) but he made it happen.  Again.  Glue.
• He makes me want to read more.
• He has eyes in the back of his head.
• Someday I think he will get to live out his dream of producing movies.  With me.

30 days of list anything

I have hit a wall.  It's not something I'm used to.  And, by the way, it's not "writer's block", I've never had that and I don't believe it exists.  No, this is just merely I haven't written anything since Bar Olympics. So, I decided in order to get myself back into writing mode I am going to post a blog every day for the next 30 days.  Now that I got that out of the way, consider this my intro:

• I had a long week of work
• I came home and had a few drinks
• Midnight Run was on cable
• I started thinking about my list anything list of Action Comedies...
• That led me to thinking about writing again
• That led me to thinking about this blog
• That led me to thinking about how I wish I posted more often
• And here we go...

Ron Swanson's medical history

Another list from Parks and Recreation (episode "Animal Control")

Spoiler alert! .... list after the jump .....

Twitter List

Kate Rose‏@KateRoseMe

My friend found this list on an airplane. This is good stuff. pic.twitter.com/059BtYUxk8

https://twitter.com/KateRoseMe/status/320662739410378752