Sunday, April 5, 2009

Missed Connections

Here are four *missed connection* ads from Craigslist. I am pretty sure they were all written by the same person, but still....

You look great in hats - 35 (The Gap- Rice Village)

You're blond with blue eyes and you were trying on hats today. I really wanted to tell you that you have the most amazingly shaped head, unfortunately, the smell in that place was really getting to me and my eyes started watering. I ran outside for air and then you were gone. Please, please, please reply. You've restored my interest in haberdashery again. Also, when you reply, tell me what that smell was so I'll know it's you.

Brunch at Farrago - 30 (Midtown)

You were with two hot guys having brunch at Farrago today. You looked oh-so-handsome and masculine, despite the fact you were drinking a pink bellini through a tiny black straw. And when you put that cherry to your lips and licked it, I nearly creamed my pants. I wanted to talk to you, but someone left my cake out in the rain, and...I'll never have that recipe again. Tell me what the special was at Farrago today, and let's find out what else you can do with your tongue.

We coulda done more in fitting room - 28 (Banana Republic-Rice Village)

You have dark hair and dark eyes and a boyish charm. You were trying on a garishly colored sweater vest. I was blinded by the color and your shockingly good looks. By the time my vision returned to normal, you were gone. I hope you were real and not just a vision. I know that place is very over-priced, but I'm going to shop there non-stop until I see you again. If you contact me, tell me what the color the sweater was so I'll know it's you and so I'll know what to call it in my complaint letter to Banana Republic.

Hot Guy at Urban Outfitters - 30 (Rice Village)

You were trying on glasses that reminded me of my granny. You kind of look like the guy who stuck his finger in my butt at the Ripcord a few weeks ago, but I can't be sure. Tell me what I was wearing and let's go for the other four.

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