cheeks

Yesterday I got my haircut. I was mesmerized by the size of my cheeks in the mirror. They are forming large semi-circles from below my ears to my chin.
In honor of my cheeks, here are some things I ate today.

* cornbread
* buffalo wings
* chips and artichoke dip
* pulled pork sandwich
* sweet potato fries
* Hershey kisses
* cashews (several fistfuls)
* chili cheese dog

Also this weekend I was at mom and dad's. That included many cookies, lots of cake, Dr. Pepper, and fried steak and chicken. Unfortunately no manicotti. Thanks, Derek.

TV shows I totally meant to watch every episode of (or more than 2) but didn't

*Sports Night
*Battlestar Galactica (new - I saw all the old ones)
*Nurse Jackie
*Bored to Death
*The Good Wife
*Flashforward
*Weeds
*Dirty Sexy Money
*True Blood
*Central Park West

Brilliant signs at the Rockets game

A group of people (geniuses) made some signs to taunt the players of the Grizzlies during warm-ups. These people were all standing in a row shoving these toward the players faces on the court. The Grizzlies line-up:

• Rudy Gay
• Marcus Williams
• Zack Randolph
• O.J. Mayo
• Marc Gasol
• and Allen Iverson recently quit the team.

The signs:

• Rudy Gay (written in a crude sketch of something resembling a tube of toothpaste)
• Marcus Will.I.Am.Not
• Zack Randoff (*off* was underlined)
• O.J. Hold the Mayo
• Marc out of Gasol (*gas* was underlined)
• Allen I've Given Up Erson

Fuck yeah. Go Houston.

Things made for children but are equally enjoyable for adults

1. Baby wipes
2. Cocoa Puffs
   

PJenks(ins) & Devs(ich) Dive(ish) Bar Tour of Austin

If all goes as planned, tonight will be the (first Annual???) PJenks(ins) and Devs(ich) Dive(ish) Bar Tour of Austin.

I thought up the route of the PJDDBTA on my trip down. The intended destinations:

• Lala's Little Nugget
• Poodle Dog Lounge
• Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon
• Deep Eddy Cabaret
• Donn's Depot Piano Bar & Saloon
• Mean Eyed Cat
• Tiniest Bar in Texas

It is probably nothing new for you Austinites but I feel it is a good tour for Devs' visitor from SFO.

Thoughts? Omissions?

Movie Scenes (random favorites)...

QT2's First Thought Favorite Scenes, Scenes, and more Scenes (*LIST CHALLENGE*)

some of my favorite movie scenes

I think this should be a list challenge.

BT's words of wisdom

1. Re: our possible future consumption of funnel cakes.

• "Oh, make sure you get it with the white powder. It's so good."

2. Re: what went wrong with the overthrown pass to him in the endzone the night before.

• "No point thinking like that. Unless you got a time machine."

3. Re: the 17-year old kid that got killed in a car accident the first night of Czhilispiel.

• "I hope that's the only death this weekend."
  

TV shows I am watching this season without the use of a TV

1. The Office
2. Parks and Recreation
3. Community
4. 30 Rock
5. Castle
6. Lie to Me
7. Dexter
8. It's Always Sunny
9. The Mentalist
10. Dollhouse
11. Monk
12. Psych
13. The Daily Show

I think this list is impressive (if not sad) considering...

Headlines of the Day

As requested by P.Jenkins himself... (who remains locked out of List Anything at the office)

#1 Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand
#2 Navarrette: 'Wild Things' is scary, but so is life
#3 Airliner overshoots airport; controllers feared hijacking

Celebrity (and "Celebrity") Mensa Members

According to The Daily Beast (I can't remember how I came across it).

Geena Davis
Joyce Carol Oates
Norman Schwarzkopf
Quentin Tarantino
James Woods
Steve Martin
Sharon Stone
Oscar Wrigley (some 2 1/2 year-old Brit)
Asia Carrera (porn star)

Random Thoughts Whilst Watching Paranormal Activity

1. There is only one demonologist in the San Diego/Los Angeles area.
2. Monty Python kudos in movies are still awesome. Those that get the joke, even more so.
3. 1 grunt for yes, 2 for no, 3 for 'What's your favorite Sandra Bullock film'?
4. High-end cameras only cost half a work day's money.
5. It freezes outside in San Diego October's.
6. Change pants.
7. Never go to a movie theater again.

Songs That Made Me Happy At Lunch

I had to run a few errands at lunch, but the radio made it kind of nice. For once.
In order of how I heard them, not of how happy they made me...

• Neon Moon - Brooks and Dunn
• Tear-Stained Eye - Son Volt
  
• Hey Now Now - Michael Franti and Spearhead
• Loser - Beck
• Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
  

Things that made me happy today

• Derek's post, particularly the Neko Case, Deer Tick, and Fanfarlo part
• Aimee's response to Derek's post indicating she might be visiting
• Speaking of Fanfarlo, the fact that I can not get sick of that album and listened to it three times tonight while working
• DJ's email earlier inviting me to "An Evening With David Sedaris" --- the "an evening with" part cracks me up
• This sandwich I am eating right now.
  
• The pest control lady that told me, when I used the word *disaster* to describe this house that I bought and its second(!) infestation of termites, told me to "think positively" and that I was "being smart" by calling.
• The phone call from the auditor this morning that confirmed my most recent project was a success.
  
• I got all my billing done.
  
• Party planning emails with Derek and Thomas for the MP!FP! this weekend.
• That Madeline Kahn video. I have probably watched it 200 times. And counting.
  
• This website: http://www.halfbakery.com/editorial/help.html
  
• The fact that it is after midnight and I just got home from work and realized that Survivor came on tonight! Going to watch some deevs now.

Shows I want to see coming up in Houston

(although I probably won't see half of them)

• Oct. 16 - Michelle Shocked at Warehouse Live
• Oct. 23 - Built to Spill at Warehouse Live
• Oct. 26 - Port O'Brien at Rudyard's
  
• Oct. 27 - Blind Pilot and The Low Anthem at House of Blues
• Oct. 28 - Ezra Furman and the Harpoons at Rudyard's
• Oct. 30 - Mute Math at Warehouse Live
• Nov. 4 - Mimicking Birds at The Mink
• Nov. 12 - Elvis Perkins in Dearland at Walter's
• Nov. 13 - Swell Season at Warehouse Live
• Nov. 22 - Neko Case and Deer Tick at Warehouse Live
• Nov. 30 - Metric at Warehouse Live
• Dec. 4 - Fanfarlo at Walter's

Anyone want to go to any shows?

Search Terms 2

A new list of search terms that have brought people to List Anything, only to bounce away....

• "female tv characters" + "alcoholic"
• 2 english words mean exact opposite food
• basic instinct 2 sex scene
• best robert earl keen songs
• cheater combat arms
• community jeff winger sweater
• craigslist for female halloween costumes
• dereklm
• duda paine architects
• facebook statuses that are true
• films with female alcoholic characters
• gary sinise csi toupee
• good topics for status updates
• great movies that got terrible reviews
• "hosiery is not required"
• jamie foxx collarless shirt
• "jean kincaid" + hair
• jenny lewis teacher houston
• kathryn merteuil bad guy
• list of dance competition movies
• list of dream jobs for men
• list of topics people like on facebook
• list of true and false
• list of words that mean dangerous
• most cammented facebook song statuses
• most disturbing news stories
• noncomprehensive high school
• pixies pop
• scary jokers
• scary things that have happened on friday the thirteenth
• site:blogspot.com requiem for a dream sex scene
• soap box movies list based on olympics
• the dark knight and pop culture
• todays most funny status update
• what famous people were born on july 30th, 2009
• what king of jacket larry david sport coats
• what should my status update be today?
• who made the boots worn by catherine zeta-jones in no reservations?
• worst people born on july
• youtube mississippi dream saxophon greg wonder alias bud spencer
  

some people I miss that I didn't know, obviously

I'm feeling sensy tonight....

17 Movies I am Going to Watch in October...

1. Blackmail
2. Champagne
3. Easy Virtue
4. The Farmer's Wife
5. Jamaica Inn
6. Juno and the Paycock
7. The Lodger
8. The Man Who Knew Too Much(1934)
9. The Manxman
10. Number Seventeen
11. Rich and Strange
12. The Ring (1927)
13. Sabotage
14. Secret Agent
15. The Skin Game
16. The Thirty-nine Steps
17. Young and Innocent

And anybody with $5.00 to spend at Wal-mart can join me. But you probably won't because you have better things to do.

places I have fallen asleep in the past week

• meeting
• conference
• desk
• cab (backseat)
  
• Angela's car (backseat)
• my car (driver's seat, at stoplight)
  
• couch
• bar
  
• airplane

Reasons Why I Thought Yesterday That I Might Have Asperger's Syndrome

Really just one reason. This article I read in Psychology Today for some reason. But here’s a list of symptoms I read about in that article that made me self-diagnose.

• Would rather stay home and work jigsaw puzzle than dress up for a night out
• Trouble with spatial orientation and direction
• Can imitate or fake way through social situations
• Wry sense of humor
• Cool demeanor
• A little too thorough at times
• Never had a lot of friends but usually has few close friends
• Likes puzzles and logic
• When watching movie/tv, has to turn volume way up to hear dialogue but way down when there is background noise
• Most comfortable being alone
• Not lonely very often (and then usually just wishes to be with certain person or people)
• Maintaining eye contact is a challenge
• Not a hugger

Symptoms I do not have:

• Series of obsessions
• Difficulty changing directions or actions at musical cues (in other words - can’t dance)
• Animal lover
• Only brutal violence can generate emotional reaction
• Being a boy
  

Search Terms

Thought you all might find this interesting. Here is a list of some search terms that have brought people to this blog:

• reasons why I hate you
• a-z of dance films
  
• scary things list
• most popular facebook statuses
• "rarely wants to do it" dennis
• +"dress code" +"high school" +pro +con
• 10 great movies that received terrible reviews
• alcoholic tv characters
• alias of suzanne sugarbaker
• craigs list alexandria la vw jetta cars for sale
• gene hackman hates canada
• good topics for status updates
• how can i find list of anything
• list,of,dance,movies
• liz lemon dennis duffy list
  
• most played songs kgsr
• pfeiffer landstuhl restaurant
• professor arthur fleeber
  
• sunglasses worn by jean reno
• susan sarandon pure country george strait
• three is company scenes mr and mrs roper youtube
• tim roth new braunfels
• tucciadicapri
• waco valley mills drive wreck august 26, 2009
• woman w4m port charlotte
• words to describe yourself interview
• xanax(dizziness||drowsiness||inaudible speech).blogspot.com
• zellweger
  

Greatest Movies In Which Musicians Play An Exaggerated Version of Themselves

Inspired by the most craptacular flick I've seen in some time, I thought it might be fun to take a look back at some of the other completely idiotic movies based at least in part on a popular musician’s persona. Here’s what I came up with:

7. Yellow Submarine – Sorry Beatles fans, but unless you’re a high school student, zonked out of your head on mushrooms, within the approximately ten-minute window of time during which your naive little mind could possibly think a story about “Blue Meanies in Pepperland” is worth two hours of your attention, this movie totally blows.

6. Every Gangsta Rap Movie Ever Made That Isn’t 8 Mile (see intro above) – With the surprising exception of the Eminem biopic, pretty much every movie about a young rapper on the streets is just an incoherent collection of pointless violence, a love interest who’s way hotter than anyone you’d ever find in the real projects, and a sh*tty soundtrack consisting of a bunch of tracks that weren’t good enough to make it onto the album that made the person famous to begin with. And Hype Williams probably directed it.

5. Moonwalker – This really should have been the world’s first clue that Michael Jackson was totally f*cking nuts and had no business being around children. A bizarre combination of live performance footage, video b-sides and a mind-explodingly insane short film in which Jackson battles Joe Pesci, who is an evil drug dealer with a strange interest in children, by turning himself into some kind of giant dancing robot who gets his power from shooting stars. The funny thing is, in retrospect, this movie is probably one of the less insane things about Michael Jackson’s life.

4. Spice World – This self-reflexive genre-bending look into the life of the international pop phenomenon is the 8 1/2 of movies about retarded girl groups. You should all watch it.

3. Pure Country – George Strait basically plays himself, and sets out on a journey to find out what country music is all about, but fails to get arrested, spend any time in jail, take drugs or kill a man with his bare hands, so he just goes back to being the crooning puss-wad he was to begin with. The end.

2. Glitter – So Mariah Carey plays this mentally-handicapped woman with epilepsy who wants to be a star and she’s shiny and there’s some romance and blah blah blah. Let’s be honest, I’ve never seen this movie and I’ve never will. This is just what I’m guessing from the looks of the poster.

1. Cool As Ice – Vanilla Ice plays “Johnny”, a badass rapper dude on a motorcycle who comes to this small town and meets this hot-but-dorky chick who’s dad is on the run from the mob or whatever. Actually contains the line, “I’m just…coolin’” which alone is worth the price of picking this bad boy out of your nearest bargain bin. In all seriousness, this is a classic.

Honorable Mentions: Purple Rain, Crossroads

Things You Probably Didn't Know About: 12 Rounds

• It is a movie.
• It made 12 million dollars in the US box office.
• It stars wrestling sensation (I guess) John Cena and was produced by the WWE.
• John Cena plays a cop -- you know, just a regular guy --who gets called in to help the FBI who is tracking down a man who can only be described as an amalgam of every bad guy in every movie ever made.
• The villain is really really smart. We know this because in the opening scene as the FBI is watching him, he walks past two strangers playing chess and quickly tells them what they're doing wrong. Only a really really smart person would be able to do that.
• The opening scene unfolds and the villain is about to get away when Cena foils his plan and kills the woman he loves (because as we all know, insane people can love too).
• A year later, Cena has been promoted to detective (along with his partner for some reason even though his partner did absolutely nothing to deserve it).
  
• Cena's girlfriend heads off to work and his cell phone rings. You guessed it! It's the villain! He starts out with some small talk and then reveals that he's out of prison and that they're going to play a game.
  
• Cena's house blows up and then he realizes that the villain has his girlfriend.
• And then Die Hard With a Vengeance begins. Just kidding. But not really. So the villain has Cena and his partner go to where the movie began and they see writing on a wall. Numbers. Cena takes a good minute to figure out that they're coordinates. His partner is baffled. "Where did you learn about that stuff?" (*that stuff = coordinates). Cena replies "Eighth grade Geography." The first real bit of dialogue in the entire movie.
• Then, all of a sudden, we learn that Cena has a brother who is a firefighter. And then a fire occurs and "round 3" begins in which Cena has to go into the fire and get out some safety deposit boxes.
• The FBI agents from the beginning show up to let the audience know that they're really bad guys.
• This was about 38 minutes into the movie and about the time that I stopped watching the movie and read a book.
• However, if anyone would like to know what happens in the following 9 rounds, please feel free to email me and I'll give you my best guess.
  

Jubal's Favorite Co-Worker

Here is how Jubal described this woman we work with that drives him crazy, because she is demanding, but also because she is incredibly soft-spoken.

He called me tonight to bitch about her and in the course of the 5 minute conversation, he said the following things:

* Sounded like I was talking to Tinkerbell.
* Like one big powdercake.
* I mean, Blaine, it sounded like I was talking to a butterfly landing on a pillow.

Do I need to tell you thick his Mississippi accent is?

(This list also titled: Best thing happened to me today.)

Recap of my Oklahoma trip

For those of you who were not able to keep up with my Liveblogging from Oklahoma City: The FTA Motor Fuel Tax Section Annual Meeting Experience, allow me to list for you the various venues I enjoyed during my four day trip:

1. Abuelo's - (Sunday dinner) I had fried chicken stuffed with chorizo. Gross but pretty tasty.
   
2. Aria Grill and Lounge (aka bar at the Sheraton) - (Monday after dinner drinks, solo). Miller Lites to help me finish writing the 25 lies I started on the plane.
   
3. Bricktown Brewery - (Monday lunch) Fried okra! Appropriately crispy. (Turn your volume up for the website.)
   
4. Bourbon Street Cafe - (Monday cocktail hour) Bud light and fried shrimp. Authentic! It felt in there just like this website sounds. DJ would have HEARTED it.
   
5. Toby Keith's I [HEART] This Bar & Grill - (Monday dinner) Chicken & mashed potatos. Surprisingly good. And don't let the website fool you, the sign on the restaurant is a HEART.
   
6. Coyote Ugly - (Monday nightlife) - See Facebook. I can't do it again. But I swear to you that bitch FELL.OFF.THE.BAR.
   
7. Aria Grill and Lounge (aka bar at the Sheraton) - (Monday post-nightlife, solo) - Miller Lites to unwind. Yeesh.
   
8. Spaghetti Western - (Tuesday lunch) Penne to avoid going to Hooters with the other group. Still at themepark restaurant but less offensive.
   
9. Rocky's Special Events Center - (Tuesday cocktail hour, dinner, and party) Western themed, complete with cowboy hats and boots and .... wedding music? (see Facebook for my comments and Austen's previous list of wedding songs to understand the type of music played at this "country/western" affair.) Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I was forced by a DJ named Shane and a Fuel Tax Administrator named Cindy to participate in a line dance, called something "Cha-Cha." True story. (Humbly I add: I was complimented by at least 2 different lady tax accountants on my moves.)
10. Skky Bar 4th Floor Ultra Lounge - (Tuesday nightlife) It was pretty much what you would imagine a place called SB4FUL to be. Except. There were these two kids there who were breakdancing, and they were awesome. I hated the Skky Bar but I would have stayed for hours to watch them. (Make sure your volume is up for the website.)
    
11. Coyote Ugly, part 2 - (Tuesday nightlife, part 2) More Miller Lite for me. Perhaps a shot or two forced upon me throughout the night. But a much tamer evening than the night before. Except for the people making out. *shivers*
    
12. IHOP - (Tuesday after-nightlife dinner) Sirloin Tips and Eggs. Delicious. I am so excited to like mushrooms these days.
13. McDonald's - (Wednesday lunch) I couldn't find a Chick-Fil-A.

I think that's it. I have stories. Just ask. And pictures. And videos. And voice recordings.

Enjoy all this and more in Bricktown!!! http://www.bricktownokc.com/
(be sure to turn your volume way up!)

Some Reasons Why You Should Complete "25 Random Lies" on Facebook

1. Because you are funny, and the facebook world needs to know it.
2. I am trying to start a thing here. My world is very small, but if I create a little viral note on Facebook, I will be fulfilled.
3. You are self-aware and only self-aware people will get it at first.
4. But you know people who aren't self-aware and you need to do it so that they will do it. Let's be honest, its the un-self awares who keep FB going.
5. Because it is a fun and new way to be passive-aggressive.

The Cast of My Dreams (aka TV Characters I'm Loving Right Now)

Rachel Berry, Glee (Lea Michele)
Jeff Winger, Community (Joel McHale)
Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Charlie Day)
Tom Haverford, Parks and Recreation (Aziz Ansari)
Casey Cartwright, Greek (Spencer Grammer)

My DVR List - Series I record

In my defense this is for 3 people that live in my house....and not all of these shows are in season right now and a few may have been cancelled.

1. 30 Rock
2. 90210
3. Anthony Bordain: No Reservations
4. Austin City Limits
5. Bored to Death (HD)
6. Bored to Death (Regular)
7. Brothers and Sisters
8. Community
9. Curb Your Enthusiasm
10. Eastbound & Down
11. Entourage
12. EPL Review Show
13. Glee
14. Gossip Girl
15. Grey's Anatomy
16. International Soccer
17. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
18. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
19. Mad Men
20. My Boys
21. Nurse Jackie
22. One Tree Hill
23. Parks and Recreation
24. Premier League Review
25. Privileged
26. Project Runway
27. Royal Pains
28. Saturday Night Live
29. The Hills
30. The Office
31. The Soup
32. The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
33. Top Chef
34. Top Chef Masters

Places I vomited after consuming half a Cold-eeze on an empty stomach

1. On the tree across from the antique shop on Church St. and Dolores.
2. On the next tree.
3. On the tree after that.

Lesson learned.

Best Trivia Night Ever

I played bar trivia last night with some guys from work at the Flying Saucer. There is a bonus round question (which is like Final Jeopardy - you wager a certain amount of points (we wagered the max)). The bonus round question for which we wagered all our points was:

Name 7 of the Academy Award Best Actor winners from the 1990s (film released in the 90s, not the award date).

I started shaking uncontrollably.

The list:

1990: Jeremy Irons
1991: Anthony Hopkins
1992: Al Pacino
1993: Tom Hanks
1994: Tom Hanks
1995: Nicolas Cage
1996: Geoffrey Rush
1997: Jack Nicholson
1998: Roberto Benigni (sp?)
1999: Kevin Spacey

We lost anyway, but still.

Ode to the Sax

While driving to work this morning I heard George Harrison's Got My Mind Set On You. I realized these things are awesome.

• The video to this song.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_niy2ZM5Jo
  
  
• The saxophone solo in this song it is super-awesome
  
  
• Good news. I'm not the only person who thinks so. which is awesome.
  http://imacomputa.org/sax/George%20Harrison%20-%20Got%20My%20Mind%20Set%20on%20You.mov
  
  
• In fact, this person loves ALL sax solos from the 80's. What a great website.
  http://imacomputa.org/sax/

I love the internet.

CNN's Story Highlights (a list of lists)

I just noticed the feature of every article on CNN.com that gives you "Story Highlights" in 4 bullet points. I can't decide if I love or hate. I mean really how hard is it to read these one page stories anyway. However, they are pretty funny.

Teen tennis sensation didn't plan for long N.Y. stay

• Melanie Oudin's coach says hotel only booked for 12 days
• Marriott Marquis was fully booked as Oudin moved into quarterfinals
• Teen moved next door to InterContinental hotel
• Oudin plays in quarterfinal match Wednesday evening

9 ways to celebrate on 9/9/09

• Vegas hotel offers to marry off 99 couples at 9:09 p.m. for -- what else -- $99.09
• Nine a key number in baseball
• Multiply any single digit by 9 and add the resulting digits, you get 9
• Last single-digit date for 92 years

Jon Gosselin on abuse, love and Dr. Phil

• I love girlfriend more than I did wife, Jon Gosselin says in a television interview
• The only therapy Kate Gosselin would agree to was with Dr. Phil, he says
• Jon and Kate Gosselin have been going through a bitter break-up
• The pair star in the reality TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8"

Web goes ntus for 'Crasher Squirrel'

• Couple had set up camera to take their photo with mountains as backdrop
• Squirrel pops up in front of camera, is snapped
• Photo appears all over the Web, will be in National Geographic
• On question of authenticity: "You can't make this stuff up," woman says

Happy 09/09/09!

REPOST: Great Days in 2009

My Fall Schedule 2009: Saturdays

Sept. 5 - Austin; Wedding in San Antonio
Sept 12 - Mom & Dad in Houston
Sept 19 - Football game in Austin and travel to OKC for work on Sunday
Sept 26 - Football game in Austin
Oct 3 - ACL in Austin
Oct 10 - Football game in Austin
Oct 17 - TX/OU Watch Party & Celebratory (or Sorrow-Drowning) FlipCup Tournament
Oct 24 - Czhilispiel in Flatonia
Oct 31 - Halloween in Austin; Alana in town; Jon in town?; (Bachelor Party in LV)
Nov 7 - Football game in Austin; Wurstfest in New Braunfels; (Fun Fun Fun Fest)
Nov 14 - No plans!
Nov 21 - Wedding in Beaumont
Nov 28 - Thanksgiving Weekend in Blackjack
Dec 5 - Big XII Championship; PwC Prom (economy permitting)
Dec 12 - Birthday weekend and travel to Atlanta for work on Sunday
Dec 19 - Santa's Sleigh Ride Party
Dec 26 - Christmas in Blackjack
Jan 2 - New Year's in....Austin? Colorado? Ideas, anyone?

Favorite (or Least Favorite) Things in Alexandria, LA

I guess this list should be titled 'Things in Alexandria, LA'

• Community Coffee
• Towels at the hotel that always smell like maple syrup
• The 'Sweet Shop' at the hotel where I can get ice cream 24 hrs
• LSU ringtones EVERYWHERE
• Fried bow tie pasta with spinach artichoke dip
• The short security line at the airport
• Finnegan's Wake (a bar)
• Always waiting 40 minutes to get your food
• The smell of creosote
• Buford T. Justice lookalikes
  

A movie/TV-related listing of my dream jobs

1. Hotel owner/operator
   
2. Professor of film or just about anything
3. Editor
4. City planner
5. CPA at PwC
   

recent awesome Missed Connections from Craigslist SF

1. 8/25: Dear Creepy Guy on Caltrain - m4m - 21 (san jose downtown)

Dear Creepy Guy on Caltrain,

When I sit down in a seat away from you, please do not move to sit next to me. When I set my arm on the armrest, please do not rub your arm against it. When I sit as far in my seat away from you, it does not mean I want you to scoot closer to me. When I get a text message, please don't try to read it. When I give you a look of disinterest, don't smile back at me. When I look out the window, I am not trying to make eye contact with you in the reflection. And when I'm waiting at the doors and the train jerks to a stop, please do not pretend to accidentally fall on me and grab my ass. Thank you for giving me an extremely uncomfortable hour and a half.

2. 8/29: Brenda's Soul Food - Inside - m4w - 23 (downtown / civic / van ness)

Dear tasty soul food inside Brenda's Soul Food on Polk. Every time I want to stop by and have my way with you you always have a line outside the door. It makes me sad. I know you're popular, and I know you see me outside, drooling over your hot delicious biscuits....let me know if you feel the same way.

3. 8/31: ...and you call yourself a Buddhist? - w4m (GG Park)

A true "Buddhist" would manifest a way or even a willingness to get where he needs to go in order to preserve his own integrity. A "Buddhist" would not be concerned about the cost of a cab ride when he's already made a very definate plan to meet someone. It's not like you were hiking the mountains of the Himylayas in your sandals or that you had to pass through the Gobi Desert to get from your house in Russian Hill to your date in Golden Gate Park.

"I just can't get there because the bus line has been cancelled due to the economy and a cab is 20 - 25 bucks". Well, there's really no recovering from such a lame excuse; makes you look pretty weak. Now, you will forever be defined, in my mind, by the night on which you stood me up.

"I'm very sorry. I owe you $10 and a night out." Oh, you think so? That's very funny, because, that WAS the night out and you won't be getting another opportunity. Besides, you already paid me with insight. That's far more valuable to me than your time.

Now, stop calling yourself a Buddhist, you twit.

PJenkins' Favorite TV Characters

Women:

1. Florence Johnston - The Jeffersons
2. Maddie Hayes - Moonlighting
3. Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous
   
4. Audrey Horne - Twin Peaks
5. Blair Waldorf - Gossip Girl
6. Lilith Sternin-Crane - Cheers
7. Carmela Soprano - The Sopranos
8. Laura Petrie - The Dick Van Dyke Show
9. Abby Ewing - Knots Landing
10. Nicolette Grant - Big Love

Side Category for Older Supporting Characters:

1. Lucille Bluth - Arrested Development
2. Aunt Esther - Sanford and Son
3. Phyllis - The Office (U.S.)
   
4. Mrs. Roper - Three's Company
5. Endora - Bewitched

Men:

1. Arthur - The Larry Sanders Show
2. David Addison - Moonlighting
3. Rick Simon - Simon and Simon
4. Desmond Hume - LOST
5. Dick Loudon - Newhart
6. Felix "Stumpy" Dreifuss - Carnivale
7. Woody Boyd - Cheers
8. Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock
9. Al Swearengen - Deadwood
10. Maynard G. Krebs - The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis

Animated:

1. Bullwinkle J. Moose - Rocky and His Friends
2. Jodene Sparks - Sealab 2021
3. Mojo Jojo - The Powerpuff Girls
4. Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons
5. Bobby Hill - King of the Hill
6. Quick Draw McGraw - The Quick Draw McGraw Show
   
7. Miss Prissy - Looney Tunes
   
8. Jane Jetson - The Jetsons
9. Harvey Birdman - Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
10. Snoopy

Honorable Mention

• Dr. Rolf, Days of Our Lives
• Timmy, Passions
  

Pulitzer Prize-winning fiction I have read*

* an embarrassingly short list

• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
• Gilead
• The Known World
• Middlesex
• Empire Falls
• The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
• Interpreter of Maladies
• The Shipping News
• Beloved
• The Color Purple
• To Kill A Mockingbird
  

My Favorite TV Characters

Thanks Julie!

Ladies first...(this was surprisingly hard)

Betty Draper, Mad Men
Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights
Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl
Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Amy Gardner, The West Wing
Kristen Wiig (Various), Saturday Night Live
Monica Geller, Friends
Sidney Bristow, Alias
Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development

...and the Gents

Josh Lyman, The West Wing
Ari Gold, Entourage
Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
Jack Shephard, Lost
Don Draper, Mad Men
Stringer Bell, The Wire
Tommy Carcetti, The Wire
Marlo Stanfield, The Wire
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Matt Saracen, Friday Night Lights

The 10 songs I have listened to most often on my home computer's iTunes

I had to do 10 because 5-10 were surprising to me.

1. Devil Made A Mess (Caroline Herring) - 40 listens
2. Slow Motion (David Gray) - 39
3. Barroom Girls (Gillian Welch) - 39
4. Going Back to Georgia (Nanci Griffith & Adam Duritz) - 37
   
5. 14th Street (Laura Cantrell) - 31
6. Song of Bernadette (Jennifer Warnes & Leonard Cohen) - 27
7. Gypsy (Suzanne Vega) - 26
8. Ain't No Other Man (Christina Aguilera) - 24
9. The Mistress Witch From McClure (Or, The Mind That Knows Itself) (Sufjan Stevens) - 24
10. Donna and Blitzen (Badly Drawn Boy) - 23

Notes:

• I don't listen to music through my computer all that often
• I think I made some random-ish playlists a couple of years ago
• The whole album I've listened to the most is Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, hands down
  

(Non)Alcohol-influenced top 10 female performances

10? 10?!?!?!?!?!...I hate you both

Modern Favorites

1. Naomi Watts, Mulholland Drive
2. Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth
3. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge!
4. Joan Allen, The Contender
5. Amy Adams, Enchanted
6. Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago
7. Reese Witherspoon, Election
8. Natalie Portman, Closer
9. Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
10. Diane Lane, Unfaithful

Gut check edits:
10(b). Evan Rachel Wood, Pretty Persuasion
10(c). Cameron Diaz, Vanilla Sky

The five songs I have listened to most often on my home computer's iTunes

1. Shopping Trolley (Beth Orton) -- 119 listens
   
2. Let's Dance (M. Ward) -- 90 listens
   
3. Worms (Beth Orton) -- 89 listens
   
4. Memory Lane (Elliott Smith) -- 75 listens
   
5. Tonight I'm Careful with You (Tom Brosseau) - 75 listens
   

Potential Group Halloween Costumes if Jon, Alana, and Blaine Come to Austin

A list to be composed entirely in the comments.

10 Things I Could Do Today

1. make more lists (look out!)
   
2. work
3. jog
4. drink
5. go to the movie
6. watch the rest of Mad Men Season 1
7. read Big Brother updates (but I gave that up last week so no)
8. read a book
9. return things at Ikea
10. see if DJ needs help moving (I think I will text him now)
    

Ok, ok, the men

I think this one will be harder for me, but here goes.

• Jack Bristow - Alias
• Logan Echols - Veronica Mars
• David Brent - The Office
• Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl
• Isaac Jaffe - Sports Night
  
• Sam Donovan - Sports Night
• Mr. Rourke - Fantasy Island
• George Michael Bluth - Arrested Development
  
• Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock

My Favorite Female TV Characters

In order of how they came to mind

• Suzanne Sugarbaker - Designing Women
• Irina Derevko - Alias
• Pam Beasley - The Office
• Grace Manning - Once and Again
  
• Angela Chase - My So-Called Life
• Jill Zarin - Real Housewives of NYC (so, technically not a character)
• Erica Kane - All My Children
• Lily Kane - Veronica Mars
• Dana Whitaker - Sports Night
• Rudy Huxtable - The Cosby Show
• Blair Warner - The Facts of Life
• Blair Waldorf - Gossip Girl
• Lorelei Gilmore Paris Gellar - Gilmore Girls
• Peggy Olsen - Mad Men (close seconds: Betty Draper and Joan Holloway)
• Barb Henrickson - Big Love (bonuses: Lois and Adaleen)

Ok, that's 15. I'm sure I'll kick myself later.

11 Favorite Lady Singers

• Emmylou Harris
• Dolly Parton
• Tina Turner
• Stevie Nicks
• Patti Smith
• Gillian Welch
• Nina Simone
• Lucinda Williams
• Allison Krauss
• Margo Timmins
• Nico

Alcohol-influenced top 10 female performances

I will come out of the closet soon, I'm sure of it...

1) Renee Zellweger - Chicago *
2) Rebecca Pidgeon - State and Main **
3) Claire Danes - Starlight
4) Lena Olin - Romeo is Bleeding
5) Gene Tierney - Laura
6) Cate Blanchett - The Gift
7) Meryl Streep - Postcards From the Edge
8) Laura Linney - You Can Count On Me
9) Linda Fiorentino - The Last Seduction ***
10) Rita Hayworth - Gilda

* This performance I would equate to that of the writing of Harper Lee. If this were the only performance anyone had ever seen of Miss Zellweger, everyone would think she was the greatest actress to ever live. Therefore, imagine if Harper Lee had gone on to write The Firm, The Notebook, and Men are from Mars...

** She is, no doubt, a horrible actress. But she's maybe also a genius and regardless, I could watch this movie on a constant loop (surprisingly because of her and not Mamet)

*** Hell yes.