Shitty Marketing

I got a catalog in the mail this week. Here is everything written on page 1 of this catalog, and my thoughts:

• We know you... (Do you? Good! Sell me some stuff!)
• In the summer, you think about winter. (False)
• In the winter, you wake up at 5 a.m. (LMFAO)  
• to get to the first chair (What? I'm in band?)
• You know what rock star parking is and how to get it. (What are you talking about?)
• Or you just started riding and you love the rush of that first linked turn. [Looks at cover again.]
• You can't sleep the night before a powder day. (Oh, I see. False.)
• You know every secret hit on your favorite run or you just got your first-ever air. (False)
• You're teaching your kids how to ski. (Now that is just really some terrible market research.)
• You hike for 2 hours to snowboard for 10 minutes down an untouched run. (Who?)
• You know that having friends on a powder day means the day will be that much better. (False)
• You know that apres means after. (What does that have to do with anything?)
• You ride because it's fun. (False)
• We know you ... because we are just like you. (List.)

Last Four Subjects on My Phone's Camera Roll

starting from most recent:

• Gayle Simmons
• Dolly Parton
• My nephew
  
• Derek with moustache sunglasses

Silent Auction committee

How did these 4 women come to be on a committee together

Susie Cunningham
Berthica Fitzsimons
Bertha Sabir
Susie Streller

TV - Fall 2011

I gave a lot of shows a chance this season (more than usual), so here's a list of where they fell out:

Winner:
Parks and Recreation

New dramas I will continue to watch:
Revenge
Prime Suspect
Homeland
American Horror Story

New shows that I think I like a lot, although I would hate them with different female leads:
The New Girl
Raising Hope
Up All Night
Free Agents 

New shows I watched one (or more) full episodes of, but the additional episodes have confirmed they are pretty terrible, and I have stopped watching:
Terra Nova
Pan Am
Ringer
Person of Interest

New shows I watched less than 30 minutes of, and even that was too much:
The Playboy Club
2 Broke Girls
Hart of Dixie
Suburgatory
A Gifted Man

Returning shows I must realize sooner or later I just do not like and I am going to stop watching:
Community
Boardwalk Empire
The Office 

Shows I wish had a new season this fall:
Game of Thrones
Mad Men 

List anything birthday edition

My Birthday was last week. I received cards from the following "people"

Grace Hoffman (my grandma)
Rhonda and Joe Morris (my fake in-laws)
Janice Vyrol (my insurance agent)
The McCombs School of Business
Sunglasses Hut
Starbucks

Reasons I Love This Commercial

1. She is blind and has a walking stick. She would be able to figure out that there's a suitcase in front of her without some strange man moving it.
2. No way that guy plays soccer.
3. No way that girl WATCHES soccer.
4. People that good looking who ride public transportation live in New York or L.A. or Chicago and they would never, ever, be late for work to help some old man collect his "papers".
5. Thank GOD that man stopped that 2lb rubber tube from rolling into the sand. Whew!
6. That lady raking her leaves would have been like "bitch, worry about your own yard".
7. That guy is just a little creepy while he washes his car and looks at the ladies raking leaves.
8. Seriously? Who would leave a huge puddle of coffee on the break room floor?
9. Oh, that bitch who considers it a HUGE UNDERTAKING to hold a door for a BLIND WOMAN.
   

I seriously cannot stop laughing at the idea that the ONLY reason she held the door for the BLIND WOMAN was because she witnessed the miracle that was a co-worker cleaning up a mess on the floor.

Thank you, goodnight.