Things I Saw Around the Ark-La-Tex Today

• Hearse for sale
• Random man riding a horse near the airport
• Hayroll turkey
• Kroger bagboy riding a Rascal shopping cart through the parking lot

Quotes in my Blackberry's "MemoPad"

I like to type things people say into my phone. I just got a new phone and now I need to do something with these gems. I've decided to list some here.

• "I don't like TVs in the bedroom. It hinders conversation and romance."  - DJ 
• "For five dollars I got two pitchforks full of beef. And they were gross." - Candice
• "Hey dickcheese! What's in a gypsy bomb?!" - Drunk guy, at the Waterin Hole in Kerrville yelling across the patio
• "If you want a music scene, you've got Seattle; you've got Dallas." - Drunk guy, at Komodo in Houston
• "I went to the farmer's market. There was this old lady there. She was nice, so I bought her jelly."  - Michael 
• "I don't have hair like you. That protective sheath of ducks' locks." - Derek, to me.
• "His breath is like the gulf coast." - Kim, about Jose [RIP]
• "That's a medium?!" - Pat, about a coke at the movie theater, to the theater employee who sold it to him
• "Did they have depraved childhoods?" - Paz, about kids who didn't know the Thundercats
• "This looks crowded!" - Paz, looking at a picture of Mardi Gras, explaining why we need to hurry to get downtown for Mardi Gras
• "You don't want to be the guy at the party who brings his dog." - Ragan
• "What are you, 80? Sensodyne?" - Walt
• "Random dogs in cars can be a dangerous thing." - Will
• "He's like a friend but he's just talking to you all the time." - Will, about Brian Williams
• "You know what? I'm gonna have a lemonade." - Grown man, to the girl taking his order at Becks when she asked if he'd like anything to drink.
• "Are those your drink sizes, there [pointing]?" - Lemonade-ordering man, when the girl at Becks asked what size lemonade he would like. 

TV Project Status Report

Since when did I become a TV person?  Since Netflix.  An update on my Netflix TV projects and where I am on my (and your) favorite shows, with commentary, natch.

Friday Night Lights. (Buster's favorite) Just finished Season 3. Everyone should watch this, especially Julie. And everyone should totally skip Season 2, entirely.

The Good Wife. (Derek's favorite) Stuck on Season 2, Episode 4. (I watched 18 episodes of Season 1 in one day while dogsitting. #bestdayever?)

Sports Night. (Julie's favorite) In the queue.

The Wire. (Mia's favorite) On a flash drive plugged into my Playstation.

Party Down. (Jon's favorite). Finished. Restarted. Ready for the movie. 

Luther. Waiting on Jon.

Justified. Just finished Season 1.

Breaking Bad. (Candice's favorite) On Season 4, Episode 2.

Louie. Only 2 episodes in. 

Deadwood. (My favorite) Finished. Will someone please watch this?!  Please. I will host.

Battlestar Galactica. Finished. Restarted.

Mad Men. Up to date. Hurry up!

Any more recommendations?

Award Season 1

I was thinking of this earlier, but didn't post it. Jon's list on Michael Fassbender and Brad Pitt makes it somewhat relevant. Below are the Golden Globe Nominees for Best Actor in a Drama.  Has there ever been a hotter list of actors nominated at any non-peoples-choice type awards? [I am going to research this.]

Best Actor
Michael Fassbender
Ryan Gosling
Brad Pitt
George Clooney
Leonardo DiCaprio

[To say nothing of Best Supporting Actor nominee Viggo.]

Conversely - 4 out of 5 on the Best Actress list are the older, respectable type. Huzzah!

Best Actress
Tilda Swinton
Viola Davis
Meryl Streep
Glenn Close
Rooney Mara

The Many Opinions of Alec Baldwin

I'm home watching football and this ad for some credit card comes on the tv with Alec Baldwin and it got me to thinking about how different people perceive different things. And now I am going to share my thoughts.

ALEC BALDWIN
1. Average Joe - 30 Rock
2. Film Student - Glengarry Glen Ross
3. Film Buff - Miami Blues
4. Me - All of the above, Hunt for Red October, Beetlejuice, SNL

MICHAEL FASSBENDER
1. Average Joe - Who?
2. Film Student - Inglorious Basterds
3. Film Buff - A Dangerous Method/ Hunger
4. Me - See 2 and 3 and add Shame and anything else he does

CLAIRE DANES
1. Average Joe - Romeo and Juliet/ Terminator 3
2. Film Student - Igby Goes Down
3. Film Buff - The Hours
4. Me - Homeland and the fact that she's the most beautiful woman ever
5. Blaine - Stardust
6. Julie - My So Called Life

BRAD PITT
1. Average Joe - Snatch
2. Film Student - Fight Club
3. Film Buff - Tree of Life
4. Me - Moneyball

* I'm already tired but could go on and on...

The 20 Unhappiest People You Meet In The Comments Sections Of Year-End Lists

I thought you year-end list-makers and -readers would enjoy this dead-on list from NPR's pop culture blog, Monkey See. --xo, jf

1. The Poisoned. "The fact that you included Adele on this list of 100 things you like makes it a total joke."

2. The Really Pretty Sure Person, Who Is Really Pretty Sure. "I've never seen Game Of Thrones, but I'm really pretty sure it's not as good as Boardwalk Empire."

3. The Person Who Is Exactly Right. "It really seems like this list of things you thought were good is just your opinion."

4. The Surprisingly Lucid Narcoleptic. "ZZZZZZZZZ" is the classic. "SNORE" and "YAWN" are acceptable variants.

5. The Mother Of Tim "Freckles" Matterley. "There is a musician in Ann Arbor named Tim Matterley who is better than all these songs! You would like his music. He has a web site at FrecklesMatterley.com, and you can get his songs free on your computer! Please check out Tim Matterley, who does not have a big record contract YET but is very very good!!!!" Two comments later, she will often come back. "Also, Tim Matterley is in this YouTube video where he plays 'Imagine' at a children hospital. I am just one fan but I think he is great and he will go far!!!"

6. The Read A Book Guy. "Not one of these movies is as good as reading a book." On a list of books, by the way, he will say none of the books is as good as books used to be. He also hates Kindles, which he may or may not mention.

7. The Self-Punisher. "I always hate your tastes, so I knew this would be a miserable and useless list before I decided to click on it and read the whole thing, and now I know I was right."

8. The Unwitting Outlier. "Has anyone really cared about George Clooney since ER?"

9. The Person With The Imperfect Grasp Of Obscurity. "These are all completely obscure picks nobody has ever heard of. The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo sounds like a Dr. Seuss book."

10. Harry The Hipster-Hater, Who Really, Really Hates Hipsters. "This is all hipster music. I guess it's okay for hipsters, but I'm not enough of a hipster to like hipster picks like this. Too bad I'm not hipster enough. Maybe I'd like it better if I were more of a hipster." [His username: "notahipstersorry."]

11. The Person Who Thinks You Were So Close. "I like all these picks, but you ranked The Descendants as your #4 and Martha Marcy May Marlene as your #5, and they should be the other way around. FAIL."

12. The Person Who Never Says Die. "Why isn't Arrested Development on this list?"

13. The Subject-Changer. "If we're talking about great comedy performances, I don't know how you can leave out [Barack Obama/the Republican debates/Occupy Wall Street/the Tea Party]. That was the funniest thing I saw all year."

14. The Minimalist. "These blow."

15. The Person Who Is Probably Too Hardcore For You. "The best film of the year was shot in Tokyo and the title translates to I [Bleep]ed Your Grandmother With A [Blank] And [Bleep] You Too. I guess that's probably a little too hardcore for you. You should get outside the multiplex once in a while."

16. The Person Who Is Laughing But Is Actually Not At All Amused. "You put Community on your list instead of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Ha ha ha yeah right."

17. The Concerned. "What's wrong with you? No, seriously, what's wrong with you?"

18. The Person Who Wanted To Be Surprised. "Uh, way to go out on a limb. These are the same things you've been talking about all year and saying were the best things when they came out in the first place."

19. The Disbelieving. "Really? Are you serious? Did you mean to leave off my favorite thing? Or did something happen? Did you forget it? Did you think it didn't come out this year? Did you write it down and then accidentally delete it in a technology mishap? Do you not know how to spell it? Really? Are you kidding?"

20. The Humble Alternative. "If you really want to know what the best choices of the year were, I put my list up at my site, KnittingWithDagmarAndLaura.com — it's not just about knitting!"

Fun Facts

I don't know why these facts strike me as fascinating, but they do. I guess they either seem out of character or particularly illuminating. Would love for y'all to add new items in the comments, but I realize that this may be a solo obsession.

1. My boss at the Capitol, who was really amazing at her extremely difficult job and had a reputation as an ice queen, told us one day that she ate pizza for dinner almost every night.
2. One of my coworkers replaces her toothbrush every two weeks.
3. Newt Gingrich is an absolute freak for zoos.
   

Movies I Have Watched While Being Laid Up

So, my back went out. I played ping pong for, like, three hours straight, and after the last game I made some kind of gesture with my hands that made my entire back give out on me (probably some kind of celebratory gesture). I fell to the floor of my game room where I remained for over two hours. Finally my friends CARRIED me to my sofa where I have been since Monday night. In that time I have watched the following movies:

• Bend it Like Beckham - Cute movie and while Keira Knightly in her soccer uniform is worth the price of admission (in this case, free), I'm a little confused by the ending. *spoiler* why is it suddenly okay for the Indian girl to make out with the Irish coach at the airport?
• 30 Minutes or Less - Hilarious.
• For Love of the Game - One of the worst baseball movies ever made (not counting comedies).
• Pirates 4 - Really? I paid for this and didn't even finish it.
• Sleeping Beauty - This is an "updated" "artsy" version where some young girl gets drugged and nailed by old perverted men. Sucked.
• Super - Dwight (from the Office) plays a loser who decides to become a super hero, yada, yada, yada. Pretty funny but after Kick Ass, kinda lame.
• The Dilemma - I can't believe this is a Ron Howard movie. Although, to be fair, Ron Howard isn't always consistent. The whole movie is based on Vince Vaughn being awkward and, oh yeah, him and the zookeeper having the hottest wives ever. Bullshit.
• Gulliver's Travels - Jack Black. Remake. Got 30 minutes into it.
• Unknown - This thing started off pretty awesome. Actually reminded me of a Hitchcock film. And then after the first act, once you figure out the twist, it goes downhill. Too bad. what's-her-name from Mad Men really needs to start getting naked to make it worthwhile to watch her horrible acting.
• Strike Back - okay, this isn't a movie but I watched 10 episodes in a row so it should count as one. Basically like an R rated 24. So, loved it.
  

Last Night (Or: Why I Am Single)

• Against my better judgement, and only because I'd RSVPd, went to a tech-y, business-y launch event after work
• Picked up nametag and immediately went to bar
• Champagne, darling
  
• Was so relieved to see someone I knew that, even though I never liked her all that much, I hugged her
• Talked to her until she said it was time to "go make money"
• Wandered aimlessly around room twice
• Made eye contact with a pretty good looking guy, who was also alone and looked a bit lost
• As he started to approach, I attempted a smile
• Promptly swallowed gum instead
• Made awful face and walked right past him
• Out the door
• All in 15 minutes
• My biggest regret? Not trying the chicken