A movie/TV-related listing of my dream jobs

1. Hotel owner/operator
   
2. Professor of film or just about anything
3. Editor
4. City planner
5. CPA at PwC
   

recent awesome Missed Connections from Craigslist SF

1. 8/25: Dear Creepy Guy on Caltrain - m4m - 21 (san jose downtown)

Dear Creepy Guy on Caltrain,

When I sit down in a seat away from you, please do not move to sit next to me. When I set my arm on the armrest, please do not rub your arm against it. When I sit as far in my seat away from you, it does not mean I want you to scoot closer to me. When I get a text message, please don't try to read it. When I give you a look of disinterest, don't smile back at me. When I look out the window, I am not trying to make eye contact with you in the reflection. And when I'm waiting at the doors and the train jerks to a stop, please do not pretend to accidentally fall on me and grab my ass. Thank you for giving me an extremely uncomfortable hour and a half.

2. 8/29: Brenda's Soul Food - Inside - m4w - 23 (downtown / civic / van ness)

Dear tasty soul food inside Brenda's Soul Food on Polk. Every time I want to stop by and have my way with you you always have a line outside the door. It makes me sad. I know you're popular, and I know you see me outside, drooling over your hot delicious biscuits....let me know if you feel the same way.

3. 8/31: ...and you call yourself a Buddhist? - w4m (GG Park)

A true "Buddhist" would manifest a way or even a willingness to get where he needs to go in order to preserve his own integrity. A "Buddhist" would not be concerned about the cost of a cab ride when he's already made a very definate plan to meet someone. It's not like you were hiking the mountains of the Himylayas in your sandals or that you had to pass through the Gobi Desert to get from your house in Russian Hill to your date in Golden Gate Park.

"I just can't get there because the bus line has been cancelled due to the economy and a cab is 20 - 25 bucks". Well, there's really no recovering from such a lame excuse; makes you look pretty weak. Now, you will forever be defined, in my mind, by the night on which you stood me up.

"I'm very sorry. I owe you $10 and a night out." Oh, you think so? That's very funny, because, that WAS the night out and you won't be getting another opportunity. Besides, you already paid me with insight. That's far more valuable to me than your time.

Now, stop calling yourself a Buddhist, you twit.

PJenkins' Favorite TV Characters

Women:

1. Florence Johnston - The Jeffersons
2. Maddie Hayes - Moonlighting
3. Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous
   
4. Audrey Horne - Twin Peaks
5. Blair Waldorf - Gossip Girl
6. Lilith Sternin-Crane - Cheers
7. Carmela Soprano - The Sopranos
8. Laura Petrie - The Dick Van Dyke Show
9. Abby Ewing - Knots Landing
10. Nicolette Grant - Big Love

Side Category for Older Supporting Characters:

1. Lucille Bluth - Arrested Development
2. Aunt Esther - Sanford and Son
3. Phyllis - The Office (U.S.)
   
4. Mrs. Roper - Three's Company
5. Endora - Bewitched

Men:

1. Arthur - The Larry Sanders Show
2. David Addison - Moonlighting
3. Rick Simon - Simon and Simon
4. Desmond Hume - LOST
5. Dick Loudon - Newhart
6. Felix "Stumpy" Dreifuss - Carnivale
7. Woody Boyd - Cheers
8. Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock
9. Al Swearengen - Deadwood
10. Maynard G. Krebs - The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis

Animated:

1. Bullwinkle J. Moose - Rocky and His Friends
2. Jodene Sparks - Sealab 2021
3. Mojo Jojo - The Powerpuff Girls
4. Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons
5. Bobby Hill - King of the Hill
6. Quick Draw McGraw - The Quick Draw McGraw Show
   
7. Miss Prissy - Looney Tunes
   
8. Jane Jetson - The Jetsons
9. Harvey Birdman - Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
10. Snoopy

Honorable Mention

• Dr. Rolf, Days of Our Lives
• Timmy, Passions
  

Pulitzer Prize-winning fiction I have read*

* an embarrassingly short list

• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
• Gilead
• The Known World
• Middlesex
• Empire Falls
• The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
• Interpreter of Maladies
• The Shipping News
• Beloved
• The Color Purple
• To Kill A Mockingbird
  

My Favorite TV Characters

Thanks Julie!

Ladies first...(this was surprisingly hard)

Betty Draper, Mad Men
Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights
Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl
Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Amy Gardner, The West Wing
Kristen Wiig (Various), Saturday Night Live
Monica Geller, Friends
Sidney Bristow, Alias
Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development

...and the Gents

Josh Lyman, The West Wing
Ari Gold, Entourage
Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
Jack Shephard, Lost
Don Draper, Mad Men
Stringer Bell, The Wire
Tommy Carcetti, The Wire
Marlo Stanfield, The Wire
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Matt Saracen, Friday Night Lights

The 10 songs I have listened to most often on my home computer's iTunes

I had to do 10 because 5-10 were surprising to me.

1. Devil Made A Mess (Caroline Herring) - 40 listens
2. Slow Motion (David Gray) - 39
3. Barroom Girls (Gillian Welch) - 39
4. Going Back to Georgia (Nanci Griffith & Adam Duritz) - 37
   
5. 14th Street (Laura Cantrell) - 31
6. Song of Bernadette (Jennifer Warnes & Leonard Cohen) - 27
7. Gypsy (Suzanne Vega) - 26
8. Ain't No Other Man (Christina Aguilera) - 24
9. The Mistress Witch From McClure (Or, The Mind That Knows Itself) (Sufjan Stevens) - 24
10. Donna and Blitzen (Badly Drawn Boy) - 23

Notes:

• I don't listen to music through my computer all that often
• I think I made some random-ish playlists a couple of years ago
• The whole album I've listened to the most is Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, hands down
  

(Non)Alcohol-influenced top 10 female performances

10? 10?!?!?!?!?!...I hate you both

Modern Favorites

1. Naomi Watts, Mulholland Drive
2. Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth
3. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge!
4. Joan Allen, The Contender
5. Amy Adams, Enchanted
6. Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago
7. Reese Witherspoon, Election
8. Natalie Portman, Closer
9. Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
10. Diane Lane, Unfaithful

Gut check edits:
10(b). Evan Rachel Wood, Pretty Persuasion
10(c). Cameron Diaz, Vanilla Sky

The five songs I have listened to most often on my home computer's iTunes

1. Shopping Trolley (Beth Orton) -- 119 listens
   
2. Let's Dance (M. Ward) -- 90 listens
   
3. Worms (Beth Orton) -- 89 listens
   
4. Memory Lane (Elliott Smith) -- 75 listens
   
5. Tonight I'm Careful with You (Tom Brosseau) - 75 listens
   

Potential Group Halloween Costumes if Jon, Alana, and Blaine Come to Austin

A list to be composed entirely in the comments.

10 Things I Could Do Today

1. make more lists (look out!)
   
2. work
3. jog
4. drink
5. go to the movie
6. watch the rest of Mad Men Season 1
7. read Big Brother updates (but I gave that up last week so no)
8. read a book
9. return things at Ikea
10. see if DJ needs help moving (I think I will text him now)
    

Ok, ok, the men

I think this one will be harder for me, but here goes.

• Jack Bristow - Alias
• Logan Echols - Veronica Mars
• David Brent - The Office
• Chuck Bass - Gossip Girl
• Isaac Jaffe - Sports Night
  
• Sam Donovan - Sports Night
• Mr. Rourke - Fantasy Island
• George Michael Bluth - Arrested Development
  
• Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock

My Favorite Female TV Characters

In order of how they came to mind

• Suzanne Sugarbaker - Designing Women
• Irina Derevko - Alias
• Pam Beasley - The Office
• Grace Manning - Once and Again
  
• Angela Chase - My So-Called Life
• Jill Zarin - Real Housewives of NYC (so, technically not a character)
• Erica Kane - All My Children
• Lily Kane - Veronica Mars
• Dana Whitaker - Sports Night
• Rudy Huxtable - The Cosby Show
• Blair Warner - The Facts of Life
• Blair Waldorf - Gossip Girl
• Lorelei Gilmore Paris Gellar - Gilmore Girls
• Peggy Olsen - Mad Men (close seconds: Betty Draper and Joan Holloway)
• Barb Henrickson - Big Love (bonuses: Lois and Adaleen)

Ok, that's 15. I'm sure I'll kick myself later.

11 Favorite Lady Singers

• Emmylou Harris
• Dolly Parton
• Tina Turner
• Stevie Nicks
• Patti Smith
• Gillian Welch
• Nina Simone
• Lucinda Williams
• Allison Krauss
• Margo Timmins
• Nico

Alcohol-influenced top 10 female performances

I will come out of the closet soon, I'm sure of it...

1) Renee Zellweger - Chicago *
2) Rebecca Pidgeon - State and Main **
3) Claire Danes - Starlight
4) Lena Olin - Romeo is Bleeding
5) Gene Tierney - Laura
6) Cate Blanchett - The Gift
7) Meryl Streep - Postcards From the Edge
8) Laura Linney - You Can Count On Me
9) Linda Fiorentino - The Last Seduction ***
10) Rita Hayworth - Gilda

* This performance I would equate to that of the writing of Harper Lee. If this were the only performance anyone had ever seen of Miss Zellweger, everyone would think she was the greatest actress to ever live. Therefore, imagine if Harper Lee had gone on to write The Firm, The Notebook, and Men are from Mars...

** She is, no doubt, a horrible actress. But she's maybe also a genius and regardless, I could watch this movie on a constant loop (surprisingly because of her and not Mamet)

*** Hell yes.

5 words to describe yourself

This is a challenge, btw. But you can't think about it. Someone has to ask you on the spot.

Candice had a job interview today and she was asked the question: "can you give me 5 words to describe yourself?"

She said,
* Fun
* Energetic
* Creative
* Funny
* Nice.

Pretty good for on the spot. Also she got the job.

She just asked me and Derek the question. We are both drunk. Answers:

Derek
* practical
* easy-going
* hard-working
* thinker
* doer.

Blaine
* thinker (slash thief. Thanks Derek)
* worrier
* intelligent
* witty
* compassionate

We think very highly of ourselves. And we need another bucket.

Off topic. Candice just admitted she loves Stevie Wonder. She has said "Love" and "beautiful" about 20 times. The song on the jukebox is that overjoyed one.

Next...

Alcohol-influenced guess at my top 10 women movie performances

Per boxcar's request. I did not read boxcar's list. I reserve the right to argue, defend, revise, rescind...

1. Angela Lansbury -- The Manchurian Candidate
2. Elisabeth Shue -- Leaving Las Vegas
3. Toni Collette -- Muriel's Wedding
4. Bette Davis -- All About Eve
5. Michelle Pfeiffer -- Fabulous Baker Boys. (and Batman Returns. Everything. Hard to refrain...)
6. Alfre Woodard -- Miss Firecracker
7. Holly Hunter -- Broadcast News
8. Susan Sarandon -- Bull Durham
9. Meryl Streep -- Postcards from the Edge (and Sophie's Choice, the best ever, but we're doing favorites...)
10. Angelica Huston -- The Grifters
Uh 10. Emma Thompson -- The Tall Guy. Howards End.
More 10. Madeline Kahn -- What's Up Doc?
More 10. Lili Taylor -- Dogfight
More 10. Grace Kelly -- Rear Window
More 10. Goldie Hawn -- Overboard
More 10. Glenn Close -- Dangerous Liasons
More 10. Maggie Smith -- Murder by Death
More 10. Jane Fonda -- Barefoot in the Park
Must stop now. So so many

P. Jenks top 10 female performances (as thought by Boxcar)

* In no particular order
** P. Jenks don't read until you actually make your list












1. Alfre Woodard - Miss Firecracker
2. Geena Davis - Long Kiss Goodnight
3. Meryl Streep - Bridges of Madison County
4. Michelle Pfeiffer - Fabulous Baker Boys
5. Barbra Streisand - What's up Doc?
6. Emma Thompson - Remains of the Day
7. Ashley Judd - Ruby in Paradise
8. Jennifer Jason Leigh - Mrs. Parker
9. Holly Hunter - Miss Firecracker
10. Susan Sarandon - Bull Durham

How did I do? Did I get even 10%?

My 25 Actors

OK, here it is.

I would like to add, what a good idea. And also, I did not look at Jon's list as requested. So let the discussions begin. I am very concerned about who all I have forgotten.

#1. Jeff Bridges - everything.The Last Picture Show, Tucker, Starman, The Fabulous Baker Boys, American Heart, The Contender, TBL
Ralph Fiennes - The Constant Gardener
Gary Oldman - Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead
Campbell Scott - Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Robert Duvall - Tender Mercies
Paul Newman - The Verdict
Cary Grant - Notorious
Robert Mitchum - Night of the Hunter
Robert Downey Jr. - Soapdish
Steve Zahn - Safe Men
Sam Rockwell - Moon
Bill Murray - Quick Change
Kevin Costner - Bull Durham
Dennis Quaid - The Big Easy
Alec Baldwin - Miami Blues
Matt Damon - Bourne
John Turturro - Box of Moonlight
Ryan O'Neal - Paper Moon
Daniel Day-Lewis - The Age of Innocence
David Straithairn - Eight Men Out
Ewan McGregor - Shallow Grave
Steve Martin - Parenthood
Peter Sellers - Being There
Jason Robards - Something Wicked This Way Comes
Gene Hackman - everything, except Crimson Tide.

and Jack Nicholson, but he's everybody's. (Chinatown, for me, of course)

too hot to include:
Jude Law
Brad Pitt
Clive Owen
Matt Dillon
Matt Keeslar

25 Leading Men (and some supporting)

* P.Jenkins - don't read until you post yours.

** This is super duper hard

1. Jack Lemmon - Glengarry Glen Ross
2. Sean Penn - Dead Man Walking
3. Anthony Hopkins - Remains of the Day
4. Paul Newman - Cool Hand Luke
5. Gregory Peck - To Kill A Mockingbird
6. Marlon Brando - On the Waterfront
7. Denzel Washington - Training Day
8. Don Cheadle - Devil in a Blue Dress
9. Al Pacino - Dog Day Afternoon
10. Casey Affleck - Gone Baby Gone
11. Nicolas Cage - Honeymoon in Vegas (yes, I'm serious)
12. Matt Damon - Talented Mr. Ripley
13. Daniel Day Lewis - There Will Be Blood
14. Robert DeNiro - Taxi Driver
15. Russell Crowe - The Insider
16. Edward Norton - American History X
17. Robert Redford - Butch Cassidy
18. Heath Ledger - Dark Knight
19. Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Happiness
20. Robert Mitchum - Night of the Hunter
21. Kevin Costner - A Perfect World
22. Gene Hackman - The Conversation
23. John Turturro - Miller's Crossing
24. Eric Bana - Chopper
25. Clive Owen - Croupier
    

QT2's 25 Favorite Leading Men

Color me inspired...

Name (Singular Performance)

1. Denzel Washington (Glory)
2. Christian Bale (American Psycho)
3. Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
4. Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson)
5. Clive Owen (Closer)
6. Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)
7. Jeffrey Wright (Shaft)
8. Johnny Depp (Ed Wood)
9. William Hurt (A History of Violence)
10. Ian McKellen (Richard III)
11. Leonardo DiCaprio (Revolutionary Road)
12. Bill Murray (Rushmore)
13. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Brick)
14. George Clooney (Michael Clayton)
15. Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley)
16. Russell Crowe (The Insider)
17. Tom Wilkinson (In the Bedroom)
18. Campbell Scott (Roger Dodger)
19. Brad Pitt (Se7en)
20. James Franco (Milk)
21. Gael Garcia Bernal (Bad Education)
22. Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting)
23. David Strathairn (Good Night, and Good Luck)
24. Guy Pearce (Memento)
25. Gene Hackman (The Royal Tenenbaums)
    

list i am making while waiting for P.Jenks to leave the office

things i should do when i leave work...

1. work out
2. cook dinner
3. do some reading for work
4. go to bed at a reasonable hour

things i am going to do instead...

1. change clothes
2. go eat/drink with friends
3. stay out too late

Today's Most Popular Facebook Status Update Topics

OR: What is wrong with these people? (with commentary)

1. "My Baby's First Day of School!" (Usually accompanied by banal observations of tears and wardrobe.)
2. "My health update" (Gross.)
   
3. "Boo, it's Monday" (aka: I am as funny as a 1985 Garfield comic.)
4. Song lyric excerpt (Please stop.)
5. Something I own is broken and I am having it fixed today and I would like to complain about customer service. (Fill out a comment card. I don't give a shit.)

A Few Early Oscar Thoughts...

- Even with the expanded set, Shutter Island fails to receive a Best Picture/Best Actor/ or Best Director nod*
- Not so sure about Bright Star and Abbie Cornish's chances either...the buzz is deafening, but I'm bored.
- The Best Actress race is over: Carey Mulligan (An Education)
- I'd like to say the same holds true for Morgan Freeman (Invictus), but I'm wondering what those nasty rumors will do for his campaign?
- Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) seems like a no-brainer for the Supporting Actor short list
-No go for Michelle Pfeiffer (Cheri). At the risk of upsetting the List Anything Gods, I ask: when did the mere announcement of a Pfeiffer choice equate to immediate Oscar Speculation?
- As expected, Johnny Depp (Public Enemies) sneaks into the Best Actor list...with little, to no fanfare.
- (500) Days of Summer gets some Original Screenplay kudos
- A heated sci-fi, District 9 vs. Avatar debate resonates, with the former pushing for a Best Picture spot

* So, in a stunning development, I just read the film is getting pushed to 2010. I'll boldly predict (based on the gloriously underwhelming trailer) that it gets shut out then too.

Things I've Given Up On This Week

1. Running
2. Big Brother
3. The hope of winning bar trivia
4. CNN
5. My "don't add people, let them add you" Facebook policy
   

10 Actors I'm Surprised to Learn That I Love

10. William Hurt
Ok, not so much that I love him...but HOW much I love him. Lately he's done soooo much with so little (A History of Violence, Mr. Brooks, The Good Shepherd).

9. Columbus Short
Who?!? Kid's got charisma (read: Will Smith). Ya...weird to have an Oscar winner followed by the lead in Stomp the Yard, but what the hell...it's my list.

8. Josh Hartnett
Seemed to have found a nice balance 8 years ago (O, Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down, 40 Days & 40 Nights). Wish he'd hit a groove again...but alas, I can't hate the guy.

7. Michael Sheen
6. Danny Huston
5. Jamie Foxx

4. Hayden Christensen
It always feels like he's sleepwalking through scenes and when he throws down some pathos it feels like a strain. So suffice it to say, I don't really have an excuse for this one. I like the guy, even if he sucks.

3. Leonardo DiCaprio
As a member of my high school newspaper I wrote a column denouncing all that was "Never Let Go" Leo. Dam fine actor, but still an insufferable public persona.

2. Alec Baldwin

1. Dane Cook
All. Credibility. Lost.

Actors Who Will NEVER Turn Me:
Clint Eastwood
Tim Robbins
Kevin Spacey
John Travolta (minus the dick Travolta, e.g., Face/Off, Broken Arrow)
Kevin Spacey (yes, hate him that much)
Tim Roth (I really f*cking hate this dude)

Items received in the mail today at work sent by my mother

• Ground Beef Cookbook - Containing over 500 ground beef recipes
  
  
• The Chicken Cookbook - 39th National Chicken Cooking Contest Recipes
  
  
• Taste of Home Ground Beef Recipe Collection - Dozens of main dishes...plus appetizers, soups, sandwiches and lots more family-pleasing fare! 262 Recipes! MEAT LOAVES, MEAT PIES, SKILLETS AND MORE! [Vol. 3, 1999 (Display until August 10)]
  
  
• Wok cooking for beginners - By China Connection

A couple of things to note:
-I do not own a wok
-I will never make the mistake of asking my mother to email me a chicken spaghetti recipe again
-If anyone would like any recipes, please let me know

(the other) QT's 20 Favorite Movies Since 1992

1992 = Reservoir Dogs

Battle Royale
Anything Else
Audition
Blade
Boogie Nights
Dazed & Confused
Dogville
Fight Club
Fridays
The Host
The Insider
Joint Security Area
Lost In Translation
The Matrix
Memories of Murder
Police Story 3
Shaun of the Dead
Speed
Team America
Unbreakable

the video

REPOST

http://listanything.blogspot.com/2009/01/7-people-i-am-totally-in-love-with-even.html

Places Whose Weather Forecasts Are On My Phone

1. Austin (High 102)
2. Marshall (High 92)
3. Lake Catherine (High 91)
4. Somers (High 88)
5. Milwaukee (High 84)
6. Madison (High 84)

The Incomplete List of Artists/Bands I Do Not Like Because I am Pretentious

Hootie and the Blowfish
Dave Matthews Band
Phish
James Taylor
Grateful Dead
Limp Bizkit
Linkin Park

Bodies of water I have been to this summer

This has definitely been the summer of getting tan at various lake/beach locations. Here is my list so far...

• Lake Brownwood
• Caddo Lake
• Lake Travis
• Lake Georgetown
• Atlantic Ocean (Miami Beach, FL)
• Matagorda Bay or Espiritu Santo Bay (Port O'Connor, TX - not sure which one Stephen's House is on)
• Pacific Ocean (LA on Aug 28)
• Lake Montage (the lake in my parent's neighborhood that is a very unnatural blue)

My Best Guess on Songs KGSR Has Played The Most

Except for "Morning Edition," I don't really listen to the radio all that much. But I was driving home for lunch the other day, scanning channels, and heard "6th Avenue Heartache" on KGSR (AAA station, aka K-Geezer). And I realized that it had not, in fact, been a long time since I had heard that song. Others that would make the list--

• Feelin' Good Again - Robert Earl Keen
  
• Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
• Constant Craving - k.d. lang
• Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin
  
• Clocks - Coldplay
  

I don't know. I thought I would have more.

Songs That Should Be Banned From Weddings

• Love Shack
• Mustang Sally
• Brown Eyed Girl
• Shout
• Brick House
• Play That Funky Music
• Don't Stop Believin'
• We Are Family
• YMCA
• Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

What else?

The government is much more lax…

"Employees will groom and attire themselves in at least a neat, clean manner that will promote public confidence."

That’s it.

Dress Code Guidelines at The Firm

...to go along with Austen's list. Any others out there?

For MEN
APPROPRIATE:
* Professional business attire is always appropriate.
* Dress slacks/khaki type pants (well pressed with a crease that holds).
* Shirts with collars such as dress shirts, oxfords, button-downs. (All shirts must be tucked in).
* Sweaters/cardigans.
* Blazers/sports coats.
* Loafer type shoes.

For MEN
NOT APPROPRIATE:
x Shorts of any style or fabric.
x Jeans or denim attire (all colors), including denim shirts.
x Cargo pants, bicycle pants.
x Sweatshirts, T-shirts, tanks tops.
x Jogging/work out attire, lounging attire, leather attire.
x Collarless shirts are not appropriate.
x Sneakers/athletic shoes, flip flops, canvas sneakers, hiking boots.
x Provocative clothing (too short, too revealing, too tight, and too sheer) is never acceptable in a business environment.
x Clothing with inappropriate or offensive language or logos.
x Overly strong smelling cologne, perfume or body lotion.

For WOMEN
APPROPRIATE:
* Professional business attire is always appropriate.
* Dress slacks/Khaki type pants (well pressed).
* Dresses, skirts, pant suits, coordinating separates (dresses/skirts should not be shorter than 2” above the knee).
* Blouses and collared shirts with sleeves. Sleeveless sweaters and shells (no tank tops) are permissible if worn under a coordinating jacket or sweater. Please wear your outer garment when leaving the office or attending meetings.
* Sweaters/cardigans.
* Loafer type shoes or pumps. Dressy sling back heels or mules are permissible. Open-toed or peep toed shoes are permissible as long as they are conservative and appropriate with business casual attire. Hosiery is not required; however, feet should be properly pedicured and presentable at all times.

For WOMEN
NOT APPROPRIATE:
x Sun dresses of any style or fabric.
x Shorts/skorts, including walking shorts with or without a matching jacket.
x Cropped pants or capris.
x Jeans or denim attire (all colors), including denim shirts.
x Split skirts, cargo pants, overalls, stretch pants, bicycle pants, leggings.
x Spandex clothing, jogging/work out attire.
x Midriff revealing shirts or sweaters.
x Sweatshirts, t-shirts, tank tops, spaghetti straps, crop tops, or tube tops.
x Jogging/work out attire, lounging attire, leather attire.
x Sandals, sneakers/athletic shoes, flip flops, canvas sneakers, western or hiking boots.
x Provocative clothing (too short, too revealing, too tight, and too sheer) is never acceptable in a business environment.
x Clothing with inappropriate or offensive language or logos.
x Overly strong smelling cologne, perfume, or body lotion.

Marshall High School Student Dress Code Guidelines

What's Hot

• ID badges visible at all times
• Creative lanyards to display IDs
• Sunglasses worn only as an accessory
• Short, well groomed facial hair
• Shirt underneath any garment that does not meet dress code guidelines
• Shoes
• Pants
• Shorts or skirts following 3 inch rule
• Shirts that do not expose midriff when arms are lifted

What's Not

• Hats, caps, bandannas
• Excessive or distracting hair color/style
• Symbols, words, or slogans cut into hair that are obscene, racially/gang related, or provocative
• Piercing other than ears
• Gentlemen with makeup or nail polish
• Sunglasses worn over eyes
• Tank tops or low cut clothing. (neck or underarm) 2 inch rule
• Clothing that exposes midriff, back, and/or cleavage
• See-through provocative, or excessively tight clothing
• Dresses, skirts, all split garments, and shorts must be no more than 3 inches above the knee while properly worn when standing
• Loose clothing that results in “sagging”
• Visible undergarments
• Frayed or ragged short or pants
• Slogans across posterior
• House shoes
• Obscene language or symbols, provocative pictures, advertising tobacco/narcotics, jewelry, or exposed body parts
• Symbols on clothing or jewelry that would distract or cause undue attention
• Racially related symbols, emblems, pictures, words, slogans, or tattoos.
• Any accessory or clothing article deemed gang-related or dressing the same to show a pattern of dress deemed to be connected with gang activity
• Clothing worn in a manner for which it was not intended i.e., backwards, inside out
• No holes or tears in clothing above 3 inch rule
• Blankets
• Jackets cannot be used to cover inappropriate dress choices
• Pants bottoms which are wider than the shoe

Accidents That Happened in Front of 4412 Jeff Davis, Marshall TX

(that I know of)

• Jubal, our neighbor across the street, backs his car into our brick mailbox next to the sidewalk, breaking it into pieces. (We rebuilt it, but moved it from next to the sidewalk to next to the driveway.)
  
• Ragan's friend Rodney runs into our brick mailbox next to the driveway, breaking it into pieces.
• During Christmas break, Ms. Betty Jean Kincaid runs off the road while showing her niece the spinning Christmas tree decorated with multi-color blown-up balloons in Jubal's front yard. She smashes into Julie's awesome blue Probe which smashes into my cousin's car which smashes into my aunt Lyndel's car. Ms. Betty Jean Kincaid was the great-aunt by marriage of one of Ragan's friends.
• Julie's cousin Jim runs off the road because he dropped his coffee, or had a stroke, or something like that. Jim hits our brick mailbox, breaking it into pieces.
• My aunt Lyndel parks her car and inexplicably (or because she had too much Xanax) smashes into Derek's/Austen's friend Courtney's car.
• Derek has a bike wreck and needs stitches. Story to Mom (for years): He rode his bike into a parked pickup. True story: He rode his bike out of the back of the pickup and busted his ass.

Are there others?

Why I Hate Canada

So, apparently now that I have finally decided to see Montreal for the first time, Canada recently decided to tighten security and make my life a living hell. You now need a passport to cross into Canada. And since I have never had a passport, here is a list of things I will need to do before next Tuesday:

• fill out a DS-11 form and print it out
• have ready my original birth certificate
• have a valid driver's license
• * however, if said license is out of state (like mine is) I need a second ID. They do not specify what may qualify as a second ID.
• make a photocopy of said license
• have ready 2 (not 1) passport photographs that must be (identical, in color, 2x2, taken within the last 6 months, full-face front view with white background, between 1 inch and 1 3/8 inches from the bottom of the chin to the top of the head, taken in NORMAL street attire)
• get my hands on $106.00
• make an appointment at the passport place which is 2 hours away
  
• have proof of my vacation even though Jim is paying for everything

**** after attempting to get all of the above together I called to make an appointment since we're leaving on August 11th and the first available appointment is August 12th.

"but they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father"