my lists about miami for P.Jenks friend

I received this email this morning...

Subject: Miami
Can you give me some hotels, bars, & restaurants with a brief description.
Also, what is the dress code generally like? Do women wear dresses or are pants ok?

Places to eat

• Nemo - "casual nice" think Z Tejas or Moonshine - but Miami style. Great atmosphere, large outdoor patio. Consistently good food. I have been here on multiple trips http://www.nemorestaurant.com/
• Blue Room - inside Delano - very nice, and pricey, but the food was amazing
• Barton G - also pricey, but very neat atmosphere, and fun presentation on food, if you are going to go to one super expensive dinner I would maybe go here.
• Sushi Samba - according to my aunt - best Sushi on the beach
• Big Pink - diner food open 24 hours - huge portions - great lunch place or late night. owned by the same people as Nemo
• Joe's Stone Crab - think traditional steak house, but with sea food. Miami institution. stone crabs are not in season during the summer
• Nexxt Cafe - casual on Lincoln Road; salads sandwiches, burgers, etc...
• Ice Box - small cafe off Lincoln Road - has great desserts

Bars - I know the least about this. Most of the bars are in hotels. Miami bars are a lot like Vegas bars, so a lot of table service and really into guy/girl ratio. Guys usually have to pay more to get into places or pay at all versus women. I would talk to the concierge in your hotel about what bars are good and have them offer suggestions. That is what we did the last 2 times I went and how I learned about Plunge and Prive.

• I know the Delano and the Shore Club have great loungey poolside bars, but I don't know the names (probably no cover and table service not needed)
• Plunge - rooftop bar on top of Ganesvoort - loungey and casual - I really liked this place. (we went early and didn't need table service)
• The new hot "club" is in the Fountainbleu but I do not know the name of it.
• Prive - total scene club - we had our concierge at the hotel get us a table and get us in ( I went here 2 years ago - so may not be cool anymore)

General
Lincoln Road is an outdoor shopping/ dining district. Tons of outdoor cafes, restaurants, and shops. (Ice Box, Nexxt, and Sushi Samba are all on Lincoln Road) Shops range from local boutiques, to tourist souvenir shops, and national stores, like Banana Republic, Anthropologie etc.

Ocean Drive is another outdoor area along the beach. More touristy with bars, restaurants, etc.

Dress Code
During the day walking around Ocean Drive or Lincoln Road I wore my bathing suit and a cover-up or a cotton dress. VERY causal. For dinners/going out I wore dresses most of the time, but people who were with us wore jeans, pants, or capris and "cute shirts"

Six videos currently open in my browser I am waiting to watch

I hope they are all good.

• http://www.hulu.com/watch/78867/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-triumph-visits-bonnaroo-part-1

• http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/ny-usgay0626,0,650780.story

• http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2009/06/24/dcl.pete.grumbine.new.music.cnn?iref=videosearch

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4aIblRt72g&feature=related

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIfCkO5wwXY

• http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=231547&title=Jason-Jones:-Behind-the-Veil---Ayatollah-You-So

As an added bonus, videos I have already watched today:

• http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7913530

• http://www.hulu.com/watch/59224/late-night-with-conan-obrien-old-time-baseball

Enjoy, or don't

The Curse of Pie

So, long story short...my DVR recorded American Pie for no apparent reason (perhaps a straggler from my Idol season pass??) and better still, I am actually sitting here...watching it. The flick launched a dozen careers (if you include the guy from that White Castle burger film and the girl that went on to star in a soap opera), but it also seems like it has taken a toll on several of the actors. Just check out this list. I’m calling it "The Curse of Pie" (because I’m not good at coming up with names for lists. But here it goes anyway.).

Chris Klein - Was engaged to Katie Holmes, but that fell apart. Shortly after faced charges for drunk driving. But honestly, wouldn’t you be drinking too once you came to the realization that you’ll never get to sleep with Katie Holmes ever again?

Shannon Elizabeth - Divorced. And, more importantly, has NOT removed a single article of clothing on film in 10 years. What’s that all about???

Natasha Lyonne - First of all, I don’t think anybody ever really considered her a real cast member because she was barely in the first movie, right? Well, that must’ve eaten her up inside– the girl has SNAPPED. Awhile back there was a warrant out for her arrest for skipping out on a court date. Oh, and why was she supposed to be in court? Because she threatened to molest her neighbor’s dog. Why would I make this shit up?

Sean William Scott & Alyson Hannigan- They both stuck around for American Wedding. If they’re not careful they’re going to end up like Mr. Belding and Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The New Class." I’m just saying it’s time to move on, that’s all.

The Guy who played Finch & The Kid from Rookie of the Year - I heard they dropped out of acting and now they’re running a 7-11 together in Sandusky, Ohio. Okay, I didn’t actually hear that, I’m just assuming. But you have to admit, it doesn’t sound that far fetched.

Mena Suvari - She’s gone from the Academy Award winning American Beauty to Beauty Shop. Somebody should tell her that just because a movie has the word "beauty" in it, doesn’t mean it’s definitely going to be good. On a side note, I find her ridiculosy hot and have no idea why.

Jason Biggs - Saving Silverman. Boys and Girls. Loser. Prozac Nation. Anything Else. Jersey Girl. My Best Friends Girl. Just tell me when to stop…

Tara Reid - If you actually need me to list the reasons, clearly you rarely check the interweb. But just for fun, I’ll leave you with this.

I think that sort of sums everything up in a nipple. I mean a nutshell.

Words That Mean The Complete Opposite of What They Seem To Mean (To Me, At Least)

A work in progress.

1. Hoi polloi
   

reasons why texas lost tonight

i told susan to tell d.j. to suck it when it was 3-1

derek updated his facebook status to say 3 more outs

Things I did yesterday

• Woke up, noticed truck was missing
• Called 311, was informed truck was towed as an "abandoned vehicle". Hmm, I've driven it every day this week, odd.
  
• Went to tow lot, paid to get truck, only to be informed that my truck was missing all four tires.
  
• Called insurance, police, dealership, another tow truck, etc.
• Got haircut

ethnicities people think i am

I am not sure if that title makes sense, but I often get the question Where are you from? or What is your ethnic back ground? It is amazing how adamant and upset people get when you tell them they are wrong.

• Jewish
• Italian
• Greek
• "some kind of Mediterranean"
• Croatian
• Spanish

Favorite things on the internet this morning

Girl asked for 3 tattoos on face but woke up with 56

Rupp, Longhorns overcome six-run deficit, beat Sun Devils

Texas Cops Break Out the Taser on a 72-Year-Old Woman for Being Old and Curmudgeonly (From Austen)

Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook. (From Austen)

Speed D7 (Coworker sent me this, is planning on buying it)

Free Sampler from SubPop

Re: Shows I've Seen in 2009 (c) Julie

My list (that I can remember):

• Titus Andronicus
• Los Campesinos!
• Andy McWilliams
  
• Lucinda Williams
• Noise Revival Orchestra
• Andrew Bird
• Black Kids
  
• Mates of State
• four hipster Chicago bands (more info to follow, hopefully with a link)
• a cover band from Oak Park
• Jenny's step-dad's friend's cover band from Beaumont
• centro-matic
• Howling Hex
• Bonnie Prince Billy
• David Byrne

2009 has been a good year.

"man things" i need done at my house

aka a few reasons why austen should live in the same city as me. one would think my brother could do some of them, but he is not handy.

• change light bulb in kitchen that i am too short to reach
• change air filter in bedroom that i am too short to reach
• clean the corrosion off of my car battery and refill it with water (the guy at autozone told me how to do it and suggested i have a man do it bc he would know how)
• carry the desk downstairs up to my bedroom on the third floor

Some Albums I've Been Listening To

• Fanfarlo - Reservoir

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e6453HyewA

• Deer Tick - Born on Flag Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM89oK_vhB0 (off their other album, War Elephant)

• Matt & Kim - Grand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJkymylTNU4

• The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4itzHRpltQ

• The Boy Least Likely To - The Law of the Playground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y9Unon9Gq4

• Slow Club - Yeah So

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkH9hfkCbDc

• Great Lake Swimmers - Lost Channels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-0HgSHYu2Y

• Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything to Nothing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X66k0BL5faQ

• Steve Earle - Townes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPOOE02sovk

• Ida Maria - Fortress Round My Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cySmUjQB05I

my thoughts on working at my client's office (instead of my own)

Things I like...

1. free bottled water
2. it is 10 min from my house
3. it is by the galleria
4. the security guard and his son who jumped my car this afternoon when my battery died

Things I don't like...

1. working in a conference room with 4 other people and no windows
2. the slow internet that freezes my email
3. it is by the galleria
4. the fort knox like security to get around

eight actors i'd be ok with playing me in the movie of my life

1. james franco
2. gael garcía bernal
3. max minghella
4. emile hirsch
5. joseph gordon-levitt
6. louis garrel
7. penn badgley
8. daniel day-lewis*

* - my later years...because we all know I'm going to be a f*cking badass one day.

The Dark Knight + Pixies = Pop Culture Explosion

Bless you HBO.

my shopping list today

1. 17 avocados
2. 5 cans hot rotel
3. 5 cans original rotel
4. 1 block velveeta
5. 4 20 packs tortillas (corn and flour)
6. 1 24 pack of water
7. 1 12 pack of la croix lime
8. 3 lbs ham
9. 2 packages guacamole mix
10. 1 gallon milk
11. 10lb bag of ice
12. case of miller light

these were the items assigned to me, DJ, Blaine and Austen by Angela for weekend at POC with a few additions

Original Drinks for Lakehouse/Bayhouse Weekends - Updated (and credits added)

• Lakewater -vodka & lime-flavored LaCroix with twist of lime (Karen/Kacey)
  
• Vodkaccino - vodka & Starbucks bottled Frappuccino (Will)
  
• Humble Wildcat - vodka & Purplesaurus Rex Koolaid garnished with cherry (DJ)
  
• POCktail - vodka & Cherry LimeAid, a splash of Sprite with lime wedge (Angela)
  
• Grimm Raider - vodka & blue (or red) Gatorade (Jenny Grimm)
  
• Church Punch - vodka & pineapple nectar/juice & sprite (Kim)
• El Oncé - Tequila (Herradura Silver), club soda, lime (Porn Jenkins)
• Sunblitz - vodka and Sunkist orange soda, splash of club soda (Julie)

Revised for new additions and to give credit where credit is due.

Overheard at the Family Reunion, Part 2

He looks like Teen Wolf mid-transition.

(As an introduction) I was there when she was conceived. Her mama and daddy were under the dock at Jack's.

Down there at Gourdneck where Mama used to live? They lost 5, 6 hogs a year to lightning.

4 year-old: I farted on you.

You mean you'd ask him about his reproductive---(significant look)---but you won't ask about his toupee?

My dad: How many ways are there to play Solitaire?
My uncle: Hell, Joe, I don't know. I know there are 26 ways to paper a baby's ass.

200

I just wanted to be the 200th post. Um, I like movies? Here are some that I like.

• Mother
• Mother's boys
• Boys on the Side
• Side Out
• Out of Sight

I was just making those up as I went. Again...I wanted to go down in history.

My favorite 3-frame movies

1. Blade Runner
2. Iron Eagle
3. Back to the Future

http://www.3framemovies.com/

Things I am most excited about this summer

• Julie and Blaine coming to visit
  
• Finishing my first screenplay in 5 years
• Transformers 2
• Losing the 10lbs I lost when I first moved back home but then gained back
• The return of The Mentalist
• Drinking on my deck with Julie and Blaine
• Watching Party Down with Julie and Blaine
• Playing "washers" with Julie and Blaine
• Watching Julie and Blaine's face when they spend time with my family
• Harry Potter
• Public Enemies
• Getting a surprise inheritance from some relative I never knew so I can get the hell out of here and move to California?
  

some movie moms I want to hug

1. Dolores Claiborne
2. Carrie Watts
3. Sara Goldfarb
4. Selma Jezkova
5. Chantelle Who's-got-no-time-for-fresh-talkin'-Louisiana-cowboys
6. Beatrice Henderson
   

Overheard at the Family Reunion

My tractor weighs 1668 pounds without any oil or diesel in it.

There were fruitcakes, Kotex, and TVs all up and down those railroad tracks. It was just before Christmas you know.

I mean, it is a championship rabbit.

Oh yeah...she twirled all through high school and college. She went to Tech on a twirling scholarship.

And when they went in to take out my gallbladder, they found out my kidney was the size of a newborn baby's fist.

Some people I am in love with right now

and not in a dirty way.

Michael Torres
Travis Tucker
Brandon Belt
Russell Moldenhauer
Kevin Keyes
Brandon Loy
Preston Clark
Cameron Rupp
Connor Rowe
Taylor Jungmann
Austin Wood
Chance Ruffin
Augie Garrido
Skip Johnson

things i bought in miami

per p.jenkins request....

1. white ceramic citrus juicer - the juicer part is an owl with spikey feathers
2. ceramic measuring spoons that look like giraffes
3. swiss chocolate covered assorted nuts - for my mom as a thank you for picking me up from the airport
4. custom made sandals - wedges with camel colored leather straps - i picked out what i wanted and a cobbler is making them and sending them to me
5. south beach baseball cap

my hardcore seafood diet this weekend

i spent the weekend in miami and ate a lot of fish

• calamari - dinner thursday
• snapper ceviche - lunch friday
• chilean sea bass - dinner friday
• calamari again - dinner saturday
• tuna - dinner saturday
• stone crab - dinner sunday

this is kinda a boring list...but it is sunday and i am notorious for saying boring pointless things on sunday and don't feel like deleting it...and now looking at it on paper it is really not that much seafood....really just what i had for dinner every night.

eight things i thought watching "role models"...for the second time

five writers...really?
you're too good for this elizabeth banks
they could have cast an eggplant, but it's nice to have Rudd instead
McLovin' 2: The Lowest Common Denominator
have i lost my sense of humor?...wait, an "I love you" movie line run...nevermind
ugghh...no train wreck, no treasure, just background noise to a hangover and a pizza
ok...maybe I am a bit of a hypocrite
oh sh*t, tropic thunder starts on HBO in 2 minutes...(click)

seven potential titles for my autobiography

1. and another thing
2. i know you are but what am i?
3. in spite of everything
4. it's not me, it's you
5. short story long
6. the mysterious yearning secretive reclusive troubled confused loving musical gifted intelligent beautiful tender sensitive haunted passionate talented mr. rucker
7. tomorrow

things that have been delivered to my house this week

1. vanity and linen closet.
2. a dress (unfortunately it looked better on the model)
3. flea medicine (for the puppy – not the humans)
4. vitamins (for the humans – not the puppy)
5. memory foam topper thing for the bed
6. a nail gun

some of my favorite things to do, aka my hobbies

• Drink
• Hang out on decks
• Play games
• Watch funny things
• Listen to music
  

six dangerous acts i've performed in the last 24 hours

1. opened my mouth
2. looked at (re: ogled) a NSFW picture of leighton meester in the middle of class
3. micturated off of my hotel balcony
4. revealed my neurosis to just about everyone in my work troupe
5. consumed three meals at the Woodlands Resort & Conference Center
6. drank beer and debated politics with a crazy/sexy blonde republican

five people i've been told i look like...this week

1. that dude from Entourage
2. ray liotta
3. derek jeter and/or alex rodriguez
4. tiger woods
5. "you know...THAT guy!"

Misleading Movie Titles

What they're calling it: Sugar
What it sounds like it may be about: A prostitute named "Sugar" (Halle Berry) who changes peoples lives while trying to make ends meet out on the streets.
Actual Synopsis: A talented Dominican pitcher faces a number of curveballs during his tenure on a minor league team in small town Iowa.
What it should be called: Slumpville

What they're calling it: Downloading Nancy
What it sounds like it may be about: A rom com about a computer nerd (Michael Cera) who creates his "perfect woman" only to find out she actually exists as a student in his high school.
Actual Synopsis: The story follows the fate of the unhappy wife Nancy who orders the guy she meets over the Internet to kill her, but the two of them fall in love.
What it should be called: Webstress

What they're calling it: Extract
What it sounds like it may be about: A retired Mercenary (Stallone) gets back in the game when his brother is taken hostage in war-torn Iraq.
Actual Synopsis: Joel, the owner of an Extract plant, tries to contend with myriad personal and professional problems, such as his potentially unfaithful wife and employees who want to take advantage of him (*directed by Mike Judge).
What it should be called: Blurg

Songs The Cover Band is Playing Outside

I don't know why I am still at work, but at least there's a semi-decent (from a distance, anyway) cover band playing at 7th & Congress. Here is what they've played so far, plus some random comments.

1. Boys of Summer - I think they actually played a few songs before this, but I didn't exactly take notice until they broke out the Don Henley. I can see him in sepia, riding in the back of a truck down some main street (I have some strange memory that it's Waxahachie).
2. That song that's something like..."This town is taking its toll [beat] on me" I don't think that's right, though.
   
3. China Grove - I had to do a dance to this song at a football halftime show, and I haaaated it. Surprisingly, I don't remember a single step.
   
4. Let's Stay Together - Mia and I sang this as a duet during the first karaoke party at my house.
5. Let's Groove Tonight - My 3rd grade teacher used to play music for us, and I distinctly remember this song from that time. I mostly listened to country music (and she let me play my Oak Ridge Boys and Alabama tapes, too), but oh how did I love the part about "boogie....on down...on down...boogie on down." I did a little chair dance tonight.
6. Summer of 69 - that is when my parents got married, and I think that every time I hear that song.
7. Love Isn't Always on Time
8. Carry On My Wayward Son - one time I found a Best of Kansas tape on sale for one dollar at the Wal-Mart in Vivian, Louisiana.
9. Maggie May - I think this is the only Rod Stewart song I love. Must be the mandolin.
10. Any Way You Want It - I think it's time for me to go home...