Fictional characters I am in love with...

...in a way I can not explain. And if I tried to explain it to you, you would probably enroll me in therapy immediately.

Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights
Peeta Mellark*, The Hunger Games
Eddie Birdlace, Dogfight
Tessa Quayle, The Constant Gardener
Billy Parham, The Crossing
Peter Whitman, The Darjeeling Limited
Robert Benchley, Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Finny**, A Separate Peace
David Seton Barnes, Soapdish
Chantelle, Passion Fish
Boyd Crowder, Justified
Sera, Leaving Las Vegas
Jack Baker and Susie Diamond, The Fabulous Baker Boys

*Yes, this is creepy, but I love him. Sorry.
**This is less creepy because I have been in love with him since I was 16. Not sorry.

P.S. If my Friday Night Lights and creepy quotas had not yet been met, I would probably also add Matt Saracen, Luke Cafferty, and Tim Riggins. Sorry?

make that 4 things....

4. This quote from a critic:

"Take heart in the probability that neither Fassbender nor Swinton are the type of talents to place any more stock in these contests than we critics do. Indeed, I'm sure Swinton is too busy orchestrating morris-dancing flashmobs and rock-painting in the Hebrides, or whatever it is she does in her spare time, to have heard today's news. If nothing else, I'm sure they're both pretty pleased for Gary Oldman. Who isn't?"

3 things

1. Gary Oldman!!!
2. Terrence Malick!
3. Poor Albert Brooks :-(

Things I am selling in the garage sale tomorrow

Multiple jigsaw puzzles
Scrabble
An ugly throw pillow
Bunn coffee maker
Coffee table (from Target!)
Dry-cleaned men's slacks (size skinnier)
An old lady TV tray thing my mom gave me for no discernible reason
A hard rock Mozart t-shirt
Two t-shirts from work
2 boxes of VHS tapes (lots of Hitchcock, Sayles, and Pfeiffer)

Things Leslie Knope Is Pro

1. Parks

2. Public Safety

3. Environmental regulation

4. Local proposition 45

5. Local proposition 86

6. Local proposition 102F

7. More Dog Parks

8. Senior Citizens Rights

9. Safe Streets

10. Safe Sidewalks

11. Better Schools

12. Lower Taxes

13. Better Parks

14. Better business climate

15. Better Better Business Bureau

16. Cleaner Streets

17. Improve greenways

18. More snow plows

19. Protecting Pawneeans

20. Improving tourism

21. More trash cans

22. Energy-efficient street lights

23. Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project

24. Repaving Grand Avenue

25. More Teachers

26. Fewer Libraries

27. Improve intergovernmental agency communication

28. Clean-up barefoot lake

29. Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4

30. Playgrounds in every park

31. Playgrounds in every schoolyard

32. Playgrounds in every residential block

33. Clean energy

34. One police officer for every 5 citizens

35. One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons

36. Resodding Hilltop Cemetery

37. Start talking to Cuba again

38. Emergency evacuation drills

39. Plow For Charity

40. Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee

41. Challenging the norm

42. Pawnee Corn Subsidies

43. Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea

44. Official peace treaty with Wamapoke Tribe

45. Four-way stops at every intersection

46. Unionizing ice cream trucks

47. Get Europe out of debt

48. Free trade with Illinois

49. Enact RRP- Raccoon Relocation Project

50. Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service

51. Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff

52. Legalize Korean

53. Lower the obesity level

54. Stop global terrorism

55. Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo

56. Find Gabe the Toucan

57. More community gardens

58. Ordinance 11F: To re-pave City Sidewalks

59. Budget Reform

60. Updated Technologies for Local Schools

61. Better retirement benefits for city employees

62. Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling

63. Speed bumps in front of elementary schools

64. Unemployment benefits

65. Re-installing the Main St. Farmers Market

66. No turtles as pets

67. New uniforms for youth sports programs

68. Free Public Wi-Fi

69. Updated childcare facilities

70. Shutting down the Child Left Behind program

71. Handicap parking placards for the obese

72. FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE

73. Cleaner drinking water

74. Regulate heights of trampolines

75. Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"

76. Control the floods

77. Funding for public art commission

78. Fencing in correctional facilities

79. New police patrol cars

80. Funding overtime for police

81. Rebuilding the PTA

82. Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle

83. Profitable government organizations

84. Shutting down underground shooting ranges

85. Making sure city contracts employ local workers

86. Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses

87. Foster partnerships with sister cities

88. More buses to speed up morning commutes

89. More streets to accommodate additional buses

90. Require all city employees to check and respond to email

91. Working sewers

92. More parades

93. Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy

94. Leave a lasting impression on all visitors

95. Challenge the norm (Ed. note: So important it's listed twice.)

96. Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach

97. No more conflict diamonds

98. Bulletproof glass everywhere

99. Free cookies at every street corner

100. One school for every student

101. Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms

102. Develop a municipal composting operation

103. Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances

104. Upgrade existing parks

105. Create an anti-graffiti youth outreach program

106. Free cake when it's your birthday

107. Reevaluate NAFTA

108. Rickshaw Wednesdays

109. Making it illegal to refuse a hug

110. Make downtown more people-friendly

111. Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt

112. Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy

113. Better screening processes at local adoption agencies

114. Finding homes for the adopted children of Day Labor Corp.

115. Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups

116. Pawnee

117. Hot Dogs

Thanks to PJenkins for pointing me to this transcription from last night's campaign ad.

Acts performing at the Houston Rodeo that I have never heard of

• Luke Bryan
• Big Time Rush
• China Anne McClain
• Chris Young
• Duelo (Tejano Day)
• The Band Perry

Seriously, who are these people?

Tidbits on getting old

Vision
 - I can't read anything up close, making it hard for me to know how long to cook my soups or take my medicine.
 - I have a very hard time reading on computers.
 - After looking at anything moderately bright, I struggle to regain focus (involving lots of bug-eyeing).

NOTE (reason for list): I have had to reformat this blog because the white-on-black is nearly impossible for me to read. Screencap of the old blog after the jump, if you're interested or nostalgic. Ideas welcome for new formats.

Hearing
 - My right ear rings constantly (three simultaneous whistles).
 - I have worn ear plugs to a concert and a football game in the past 4 months.
 - The doctor said I have "significant hearing loss." (He also asked if I worked in a factory.)

Body - other
 - My right knee creaks when I bend it.
 - So does my neck when I turn it.
 - I hold hand rails on stairs.

Misc. Taste in Things
 - When UH bought 91.7 from Rice with the intent of changing it from a student-run station into a 24-hour classical station, I was so pissed. I signed petitions! But that was over 6 months ago. I am now totally content with my classical station.
 - I also listen to jazz a lot (much to Julie's and Jon's disappointment).
 - I love beets. 
 - My hair is hideous and I have no idea how it should look. Same goes for my clothes.
 - I own CDs with 4 of the "awesome songs" Julie mentioned in the post below. (I guess I could have stopped at "I own CDs").

Kids today
 - presented without comment

What the heck is that?
 - Spotify
 - Dubstep
 - Lana Del Rey
 - All these things that work through the TV (other than the Playstation and the Netflix, which my brother got me hooked up on like I was already in a nursing home and now I am that old person who can work that one device perfectly but don't change anything!!!)

Awesome Songs I Heard On My Car Radio Today

This was all within 5 miles, no traffic, about 3 regular radio stations. A very high winner to dud ratio. Is what I'm saying.

• (I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles - The Proclaimers
  
• No Rain - Blind Melon
• Everything That Glitters (Is Not Gold) - Dan Seals
• Boys of Summer - Don Henley
• Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve

How lucky am I?!

School Papers

A list from Tavi Gevinson in this month's Rookie editor's letter. Tavi is 15 and quite awesome. This list comes after first saying that staying up all night to write a paper is the best. Then she acknowledges what P.Jenkins and I know to be true:

It is not actually that great for paper-writing. I hate myself every time I am writing a paper at 3 AM. I do not condone it. Here is a list of names I have saved school papers under on my desktop:

poop farts
piece of shit
i hate everything
i hate everyone
lol cry
ugh