- Hella Nation by Evan Wright - the Border's man recomended it to me after he helped me find another book...he just read it and likes it so much he has it as one of his "picks" right now.
- Ojon dry shampoo....this product may revolutionize my life or could be the biggest let down ever
- $50 clutch at Nordstrom sale
- buy one get one free spary on sunscreen
Sunday, May 31, 2009
things i bought today that i am excited about
Film Experience Rorschach (a.k.a. How I spent the past 3 days...)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - flat
The Reader - boobs...I mean, heavy...wait no, hard...yiiikkeees, I'm just gunna stop
Bride Wars - charming (I love you Annie!)
Quantum of Solace - rowdy
Body of Lies - misjudged
Role Models - dud
Milk - commanding
Nobel Son - ... literally have nothing to say...wow
Studio 60 on the Sunest Strip (Disc 1) - yearning
The Reader - boobs...I mean, heavy...wait no, hard...yiiikkeees, I'm just gunna stop
Bride Wars - charming (I love you Annie!)
Quantum of Solace - rowdy
Body of Lies - misjudged
Role Models - dud
Milk - commanding
Nobel Son - ... literally have nothing to say...wow
Studio 60 on the Sunest Strip (Disc 1) - yearning
Shows I've Seen in 2009
so far.
a (sad little) work in progress.
a (sad little) work in progress.
- San Saba County at Hole in the Wall 01/02
- Noise Revival Orchestra at Lambert's 03/14
- Bishop Allen 03/18
- Daniel Johnston 03/18
- Cursive 03/18
- Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down 03/18
- Avett Brothers 03/18 (3-7 all at Paste's SXSW party at Radio Room)
- Horsefeathers at Red Eyed Fly 03/19
- Blind Pilot at Emo's Annex 03/19
- Fanfarlo at Emo's Annex 03/19
- Deertick at Side Bar 03/19
- San Saba County at Mother Egans 03/19
- Brennan Leigh at Threadgill's 03/22
- Alvin Ailey Dance Theatre with Sweet Honey in the Rock at Bass Hall 03/25
- Centro-Matic at Parish Room 05/15
Friday, May 29, 2009
The Least Sexy Sex Scenes In Sexy Sex Scene History
7. Beowulf
Remember when all those crazy RESTRICTED trailers of naked Angie Jolie leaked to the interweb, and just as everyone who never thought to type "Angelina Jolie" and "Gia" into Google was preparing to go nuts, we soon learned that "Naked Angelina Jolie" actually meant "Naked Dragon Woman Thing From Rejected Pixar Film?" It’d be like if a movie came out billing "Shannon Elizabeth FINALLY gets naked!" and everyone dumb enough to be excited by it was treated to a CGI'd Shannon Elizabeth-voiced unicorn character with rainbow-colored boobs. Which reminds me...I forgot to Netflix Beowulf.
6. Basic Instinct 2
Perhaps the most necessary sequel in cinematic history (besides “Bring It On Again”), Instinct 2 is a gripping, powerful tale about the inevitability of human aging and the overwhelming nature of denial. Sharon Stone is thoroughly convincing as the never-acclaimed lead actress who foolishly equates credibility with being naked a whole bunch of times, but her doctored, leathery flesh merely symbolizes the hopeless pursuit of eternal youth. Unfortunately, I feel like the critics didn’t fully appreciate this biting, cautionary tale.
5. Short Cuts
There’s nothing particularly unappealing about a bottomless Julianne Moore yelling at her husband for three minutes. It’s more or less just one of the most straightforwardly, non-sexual displays of nudity in cinematic history. In fact...the entire idea of utilizing nudity in films to serve some sort of artistic, literary purpose is thoroughly unarousing for me- nude scenes should only be used to either set up some sort of wacky comic foil (usually involving Porky's-like spying), to identify which mortals are about to be massacred in a horror flick, or to break up the weighty, layered dialogue in Cinemax movies with “Deception” in the title.
4. There’s Something About Mary
Yes, the withered, saggy boobs in this accidental peeping scene are props (I’m hoping, if there’s any gynecologic justice in this world), but so was the third nipple on that chick from Total Recall, and that didn’t stop me from fantasizing about her non-stop - Peter Griffin style - back when I was younger*. I guess the only consolation from this quick-cut startler is that by NOT seeing Cameron Diaz’s boobs, I can still argue my theory that her nipples are actually just shrill, laughing cartoon faces.
* Last week
3. The Rules Of Attraction
The unsexiness of the Food Service Girl’s cut-up corpse being pulled out of a bloody bathtub still pales in comparison to the jaw-dropping implausibility of the scene itself, which represents a sharp peak on this movie’s upward-trending graph of being totally sh*tty. I suppose the suicide scene does balance the extremely sexy and even more believable party scene where completely naked college girls grind on costumed dudes, which, I don’t know about you, definitely reminds me of every single party I ever went to in college. By the way, I went to Eyes Wide Shut U.
2. About Schmidt
I thought we had a deal, Kathy Bates - I acknowledge that you’re really talented and allow you to be the one successful, yet unattractive actress in a looks-obsessed profession, and in exchange, I NEEEEVVVVEEEEERRRRRR see you naked. Ever...In fact, we should never see you with fewer than four, maybe five layers of clothes on, preferably involving some combination of judicial robes, bulletproof vests, and/or Hazmat suits. In fact, can you please play some FBI-judge in a radiation-filled courtroom in your next movie? Who’s also a beekeeper on the side? I have no doubts that you’ll be awesome.
1. The Shining
The only thing more painful than getting kicked in the crotch is having someone deliberately giving you an erection and then kick you in the junk. That seems to have been about the only possible motivation behind Mr. Kubrick’s decision to include Shining's “old woman in the bath” scene - I realize the dude’s going insane, but surely there are cinematic devices which can convey this idea without sucker-punching the vas deferens of every unsuspecting adolescent watching this movie for the first time? Or at least have the scene jump cut before she turns into the old woman to a scene of Jack outside the door saying into the camera “wow, that was gross and surprising! She turned into a melting old woman! Well I’ll be!” Wouldn’t that have been a fair compromise for everyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Honarable Mention:
Monster's Ball ("you make me feel good...")
Requiem for a Dream (@$$ to @$$. That's all I have to say)
Kids (I think there are laws saying you can’t be turned on by this movie)
Brown Bunny (If you think this movie is hot, your name is Vincent Gallo)
The Adventures of Milo and Otis (wait...ummm)
Taking Lives
Remember when all those crazy RESTRICTED trailers of naked Angie Jolie leaked to the interweb, and just as everyone who never thought to type "Angelina Jolie" and "Gia" into Google was preparing to go nuts, we soon learned that "Naked Angelina Jolie" actually meant "Naked Dragon Woman Thing From Rejected Pixar Film?" It’d be like if a movie came out billing "Shannon Elizabeth FINALLY gets naked!" and everyone dumb enough to be excited by it was treated to a CGI'd Shannon Elizabeth-voiced unicorn character with rainbow-colored boobs. Which reminds me...I forgot to Netflix Beowulf.
6. Basic Instinct 2
Perhaps the most necessary sequel in cinematic history (besides “Bring It On Again”), Instinct 2 is a gripping, powerful tale about the inevitability of human aging and the overwhelming nature of denial. Sharon Stone is thoroughly convincing as the never-acclaimed lead actress who foolishly equates credibility with being naked a whole bunch of times, but her doctored, leathery flesh merely symbolizes the hopeless pursuit of eternal youth. Unfortunately, I feel like the critics didn’t fully appreciate this biting, cautionary tale.
5. Short Cuts
There’s nothing particularly unappealing about a bottomless Julianne Moore yelling at her husband for three minutes. It’s more or less just one of the most straightforwardly, non-sexual displays of nudity in cinematic history. In fact...the entire idea of utilizing nudity in films to serve some sort of artistic, literary purpose is thoroughly unarousing for me- nude scenes should only be used to either set up some sort of wacky comic foil (usually involving Porky's-like spying), to identify which mortals are about to be massacred in a horror flick, or to break up the weighty, layered dialogue in Cinemax movies with “Deception” in the title.
4. There’s Something About Mary
Yes, the withered, saggy boobs in this accidental peeping scene are props (I’m hoping, if there’s any gynecologic justice in this world), but so was the third nipple on that chick from Total Recall, and that didn’t stop me from fantasizing about her non-stop - Peter Griffin style - back when I was younger*. I guess the only consolation from this quick-cut startler is that by NOT seeing Cameron Diaz’s boobs, I can still argue my theory that her nipples are actually just shrill, laughing cartoon faces.
* Last week
3. The Rules Of Attraction
The unsexiness of the Food Service Girl’s cut-up corpse being pulled out of a bloody bathtub still pales in comparison to the jaw-dropping implausibility of the scene itself, which represents a sharp peak on this movie’s upward-trending graph of being totally sh*tty. I suppose the suicide scene does balance the extremely sexy and even more believable party scene where completely naked college girls grind on costumed dudes, which, I don’t know about you, definitely reminds me of every single party I ever went to in college. By the way, I went to Eyes Wide Shut U.
2. About Schmidt
I thought we had a deal, Kathy Bates - I acknowledge that you’re really talented and allow you to be the one successful, yet unattractive actress in a looks-obsessed profession, and in exchange, I NEEEEVVVVEEEEERRRRRR see you naked. Ever...In fact, we should never see you with fewer than four, maybe five layers of clothes on, preferably involving some combination of judicial robes, bulletproof vests, and/or Hazmat suits. In fact, can you please play some FBI-judge in a radiation-filled courtroom in your next movie? Who’s also a beekeeper on the side? I have no doubts that you’ll be awesome.
1. The Shining
The only thing more painful than getting kicked in the crotch is having someone deliberately giving you an erection and then kick you in the junk. That seems to have been about the only possible motivation behind Mr. Kubrick’s decision to include Shining's “old woman in the bath” scene - I realize the dude’s going insane, but surely there are cinematic devices which can convey this idea without sucker-punching the vas deferens of every unsuspecting adolescent watching this movie for the first time? Or at least have the scene jump cut before she turns into the old woman to a scene of Jack outside the door saying into the camera “wow, that was gross and surprising! She turned into a melting old woman! Well I’ll be!” Wouldn’t that have been a fair compromise for everyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Honarable Mention:
Monster's Ball ("you make me feel good...")
Requiem for a Dream (@$$ to @$$. That's all I have to say)
Kids (I think there are laws saying you can’t be turned on by this movie)
Brown Bunny (If you think this movie is hot, your name is Vincent Gallo)
The Adventures of Milo and Otis (wait...ummm)
Taking Lives
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Old Lists
I found this on a group writing blog that Alana started many years ago. It is from January 2003, and most of it is still true. Except the pants. They're making pants much longer these days.
Things I Do That Annoy Me To No End
1. Wear pants that are too short because I only have one pair that is long enough and I wore those yesterday.
2. Wear boots with said pants to further accentuate the flooding.
3. Search for extracurricular things to keep me busy at work when my job actually provides me with more than I could ever do AND is semi-interesting most days.
4. Not write debit card transactions in my check register. [actually, I don't care at all about this anymore]
5. Avoid reading mail.
6. Forget things.
7. Unknowingly hurt others' feelings.
8. Give in to requests to clog in public.
9. Bite my fingernails.
10. Oversleep every day.
Things I Do That Annoy Others But Too Bad For Them
1. Respond to clothes compliments by announcing what superbargains they were (not my most thrilling shopping victory, but my long-enough pants only cost twelve dollars).
2. Crunch ice. [I wish I still did this, but I can't]
3. Give way too much background for stories and really believe that it's required for context.
Things Others Do That Annoy Me
1. Call the office when the receptionist is away from her desk.
2. Underestimate me.
3. Lie.
4. Tell me that even if we were both lesbians, I would not be dateable. [I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure the source is Alana]
Things I Do That Annoy Me To No End
1. Wear pants that are too short because I only have one pair that is long enough and I wore those yesterday.
2. Wear boots with said pants to further accentuate the flooding.
3. Search for extracurricular things to keep me busy at work when my job actually provides me with more than I could ever do AND is semi-interesting most days.
4. Not write debit card transactions in my check register. [actually, I don't care at all about this anymore]
5. Avoid reading mail.
6. Forget things.
7. Unknowingly hurt others' feelings.
8. Give in to requests to clog in public.
9. Bite my fingernails.
10. Oversleep every day.
Things I Do That Annoy Others But Too Bad For Them
1. Respond to clothes compliments by announcing what superbargains they were (not my most thrilling shopping victory, but my long-enough pants only cost twelve dollars).
2. Crunch ice. [I wish I still did this, but I can't]
3. Give way too much background for stories and really believe that it's required for context.
Things Others Do That Annoy Me
1. Call the office when the receptionist is away from her desk.
2. Underestimate me.
3. Lie.
4. Tell me that even if we were both lesbians, I would not be dateable. [I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure the source is Alana]
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
reasons why i heart gossip girl
i am way too old to like this show as much as i do, but i can't help it
- blair
- chuck
- blair and chuck
- television without pity recaps - jacob rules http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/gossip-girl/
- Quick resolution - problems/relationships/anything rarely lasts more than 3 episodes - it is the most instant gratification show ever
- it is so unrealistic that it might actually be real
- the insane fashion - teenage boys in suits and girls that never wear jeans
xoxo
Best Things That Have Ever Happened On An American Idol Final
2. Prince showed up.
1. David Hasselhoff cried.
1. David Hasselhoff cried.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Reasons Why I Love You (aka this is what happens when you go 60 days without drinking and then find out that the woman you love never loved you)
Julie - You can be such a pain in the ass but I love you because we can talk forever. I could hang out with you during a tornado and have a good time. You can always make me laugh and you laugh at my stupid jokes even when I know it wasn't funny. Of course, you'll qualify it by telling me it wasn't funny. Most importantly, you have truly exquisite taste in all things art and have no idea how smart you really are. But when it comes to watching T.V. on DVD, I could die doing that with you and several bottles of red wine. No, really...several. And you were there for me when I needed you most. I actually do love you with all of my heart.
Blaine - Women are never a competition with us. J.K. Seriously, you are the smartest person in the room at all times but are so humble yet conceited at the same time that you somehow make this amalgamated monster that I both love and love. I don't think I've ever known someone who wants to be in a relationship with someone half as good as they are who deserves it. That was a tough sentence to get through, I know. You, I think, are the only person who thinks I'm as funny as I think I am and also, the funniest person in any room I'm not standing in.
Derek - You have an "asshole" facade but you're really the nicest person I know. And that's saying a lot. As much as I know I could ask any of my friends for anything, you, I feel, would be the one to really come through no matter what I asked of you. You also censor yourself too much because you're so self-conscious about how funny you are at all times. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Also, you have always been there for my horrible relationships and, more importantly, have always been right. You know I'll never listen to you, but I'll always concede. Always. But probably most importantly, I love that you and I will always split the tab. I remember our discussions about people and money fondly. Very fondly. It makes me laugh.
Austen - Oh I miss drinking with you. When you call me or text me, even though it's usually because Karen is coming into town and you just want someone to kill the time with until she gets here, I always appreciate it. More importantly, we have always had this weird relationship where during almost every single bar-outing, we have at least one real, serious discussion about either life, love or politics. I miss you a lot. And although this is something you probably don't want everyone on our "blog site" to know, the fact that you loaned me 100 dollars for no reason, tells me everything I'll ever need to know about how much you care about me. I'm going to pay that back ten fold by the way.
Ragan - You have the biggest facade of all. You're tough - no denying. But once in a while, usually when alcohol is involved, you come across as a caring, smart, funny, vulnerable human being and when you do, you make me wish we were better friends. I will always think of you as one of my best friends even though you'll probably go to your grave denying it. But I know you love me. And I will never forget that I slapped a microphone out of my face and made an enemy of you. Oh, if I had a time machine. And I wish I could play touch screen trivia with you right now! ( I love yelling at you when you when you miss "sports" questions).
Karen - I smile when I type your name. You know why? Because I HATED you when I first met you. What's funny is, you have since become one of my favorite people ever. And, surprisingly, it has nothing to do with Austen. You just have this way about you that I love. I love that you are a total bitch to everyone you meet for the first time (even if it's my current girlfriend). I always tell them "that's how she was when I first met her" and I'm not lying. But if I live by a code, it is the "Karen" code. And that is, nobody is good enough to be inside my circle until I declare they're good enough. You also have a fantastic smile and are just a beautiful person, inside and out.
Candice - For starters, you and I have a great "how we met story" even for friends. In fact, it's so great, I don't even know if YOU know it. We met during one of the float trips. And you told Derek that you thought I was going to kiss you. And that made ME think that Derek was mad at me. And this is making ZERO sense for everyone except me, you and Derek. But that's ok. It was worth it. You certainly made Claudine feel at home and, now that I think about it, besides being Derek's wife and, eventually, the mother of his children, I think you were put on this earth to be my current girlfriend's foray into the world of my friends. That was a long sentence but it's true. Also, there's nobody I would rather have shots with. Especially fruity shots. Oh, and discuss popular music with. And kudos to Derek. You're hot.
D.J. - First of all, your first name is my middle name. Bet you didn't know that. Secondly, what's it like to be the kind of person that EVERYBODY LIKES? Seriously, have you ever known someone to NOT like you? You are, simply, the most likable person on the planet. You are funny, smart and modest. And incredibly handsome. Why not? You, much like Ragan , probably have no idea how highly I think of you. Well, the answer is very. Like, 9.9 out of 10. I would be more sad if something happened to you than if my sister died. What? Well, I really just wanted to see if you were paying attention dear reader. But I really love D.J. And he has a super nice apartment and girlfriend (see how I slipped SUSAN into my "Why I Love You" blog without having to actually list her since I don't know her at all?). However, I am extremely disappointed that he never contributes to the blogs.
Q.T. - I'll bet you're surprised to find your name here. Well, I have to admit (and the afore mentioned can attest) that I have never wanted to meet someone ever. But man, I can't wait for our movie-actor game. Your posts keep me going. Don't stop. And please know that I really don't think as highly of myself as I post. I actually quite hate myself. But, thanks to you, I now love J.T. So, therefore, I love you. It'll make sense when we meet. I'm not even gay. Well, that depends on your definition.
P.S. I triple dog dare any one of you to top this post~
Blaine - Women are never a competition with us. J.K. Seriously, you are the smartest person in the room at all times but are so humble yet conceited at the same time that you somehow make this amalgamated monster that I both love and love. I don't think I've ever known someone who wants to be in a relationship with someone half as good as they are who deserves it. That was a tough sentence to get through, I know. You, I think, are the only person who thinks I'm as funny as I think I am and also, the funniest person in any room I'm not standing in.
Derek - You have an "asshole" facade but you're really the nicest person I know. And that's saying a lot. As much as I know I could ask any of my friends for anything, you, I feel, would be the one to really come through no matter what I asked of you. You also censor yourself too much because you're so self-conscious about how funny you are at all times. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Also, you have always been there for my horrible relationships and, more importantly, have always been right. You know I'll never listen to you, but I'll always concede. Always. But probably most importantly, I love that you and I will always split the tab. I remember our discussions about people and money fondly. Very fondly. It makes me laugh.
Austen - Oh I miss drinking with you. When you call me or text me, even though it's usually because Karen is coming into town and you just want someone to kill the time with until she gets here, I always appreciate it. More importantly, we have always had this weird relationship where during almost every single bar-outing, we have at least one real, serious discussion about either life, love or politics. I miss you a lot. And although this is something you probably don't want everyone on our "blog site" to know, the fact that you loaned me 100 dollars for no reason, tells me everything I'll ever need to know about how much you care about me. I'm going to pay that back ten fold by the way.
Ragan - You have the biggest facade of all. You're tough - no denying. But once in a while, usually when alcohol is involved, you come across as a caring, smart, funny, vulnerable human being and when you do, you make me wish we were better friends. I will always think of you as one of my best friends even though you'll probably go to your grave denying it. But I know you love me. And I will never forget that I slapped a microphone out of my face and made an enemy of you. Oh, if I had a time machine. And I wish I could play touch screen trivia with you right now! ( I love yelling at you when you when you miss "sports" questions).
Karen - I smile when I type your name. You know why? Because I HATED you when I first met you. What's funny is, you have since become one of my favorite people ever. And, surprisingly, it has nothing to do with Austen. You just have this way about you that I love. I love that you are a total bitch to everyone you meet for the first time (even if it's my current girlfriend). I always tell them "that's how she was when I first met her" and I'm not lying. But if I live by a code, it is the "Karen" code. And that is, nobody is good enough to be inside my circle until I declare they're good enough. You also have a fantastic smile and are just a beautiful person, inside and out.
Candice - For starters, you and I have a great "how we met story" even for friends. In fact, it's so great, I don't even know if YOU know it. We met during one of the float trips. And you told Derek that you thought I was going to kiss you. And that made ME think that Derek was mad at me. And this is making ZERO sense for everyone except me, you and Derek. But that's ok. It was worth it. You certainly made Claudine feel at home and, now that I think about it, besides being Derek's wife and, eventually, the mother of his children, I think you were put on this earth to be my current girlfriend's foray into the world of my friends. That was a long sentence but it's true. Also, there's nobody I would rather have shots with. Especially fruity shots. Oh, and discuss popular music with. And kudos to Derek. You're hot.
D.J. - First of all, your first name is my middle name. Bet you didn't know that. Secondly, what's it like to be the kind of person that EVERYBODY LIKES? Seriously, have you ever known someone to NOT like you? You are, simply, the most likable person on the planet. You are funny, smart and modest. And incredibly handsome. Why not? You, much like Ragan , probably have no idea how highly I think of you. Well, the answer is very. Like, 9.9 out of 10. I would be more sad if something happened to you than if my sister died. What? Well, I really just wanted to see if you were paying attention dear reader. But I really love D.J. And he has a super nice apartment and girlfriend (see how I slipped SUSAN into my "Why I Love You" blog without having to actually list her since I don't know her at all?). However, I am extremely disappointed that he never contributes to the blogs.
Q.T. - I'll bet you're surprised to find your name here. Well, I have to admit (and the afore mentioned can attest) that I have never wanted to meet someone ever. But man, I can't wait for our movie-actor game. Your posts keep me going. Don't stop. And please know that I really don't think as highly of myself as I post. I actually quite hate myself. But, thanks to you, I now love J.T. So, therefore, I love you. It'll make sense when we meet. I'm not even gay. Well, that depends on your definition.
P.S. I triple dog dare any one of you to top this post~
Sunday, May 10, 2009
This just in...
Justin Timberlake is awesome.
The pop star, actor, falsetto enthusiast, and certified BAMF hosted SNL for the third time in his already illustrious career last evening, and to be perfectly honest, he killed.
Killed, Jerry. Killed.
Timberlake's ability to be the coolest guy in the room without trying - and without making all other guys hate him for it - is an extremely rare talent. Jackmanesque some might say. Equally refreshing is seeing a star of his magnitude not afraid to make fun of himself, an ability that paved the way for this grainy sketch:
Which segues perfectly into the follow up of the Andy Samberg-Timberlake internet sensation about a certain object in a box. Saturday's digital short was just as bleeped - and just in time for Mother's Day.
Good luck getting this absolute filthy ditty out of your head today:
The pop star, actor, falsetto enthusiast, and certified BAMF hosted SNL for the third time in his already illustrious career last evening, and to be perfectly honest, he killed.
Killed, Jerry. Killed.
Timberlake's ability to be the coolest guy in the room without trying - and without making all other guys hate him for it - is an extremely rare talent. Jackmanesque some might say. Equally refreshing is seeing a star of his magnitude not afraid to make fun of himself, an ability that paved the way for this grainy sketch:
Which segues perfectly into the follow up of the Andy Samberg-Timberlake internet sensation about a certain object in a box. Saturday's digital short was just as bleeped - and just in time for Mother's Day.
Good luck getting this absolute filthy ditty out of your head today:
Friday, May 8, 2009
Why I Sleep With One Eye Open
The following is an exact transcript of my mother's contacts from her cell phone.
I am not making any of this up. Someone please call child services.
- 4135313995
- 413543344, orchard
- 536110211cqkncqkncqkncqkqkncnc
- 802558081hxpm
- 860748712knckncknckncknckncknckncknckn
- 88888xpm'
- 9007002108???????????
- ari
- b86045923ow, aurie
- balance
- blow low
- blow s
- blows, karen
- blows, karen
- blows, laurie
- cararauh, kridtiauthyaxnduand
- daia
- di
- dorothy
- eisey, oe
- en
- evinb
- firliet, kridti
- gouge
- hks x nhks x nhks x nhks x 84828482848284
- hks x nhks x nhks x nhks x 84828482848284
- hks x nhks x nhks x nhks x 84828482848284
- hks84828482848284
- hxpm
- hxpm
- hxpm
- hxpm
- hxpmcqkncqn
- jerk
- jerry
- karen
- merr,,on"
- merrill, jon
- merrill, irene
- minutes used
- mom
- moms
- moyni, sue
- moynihan, barb
- moynihan, jackie
- moynihan, steve- (***my step dad)
- moynihan, sue
- orchard
- p, xpmcqkcqkncqkncqkncqn
- pmx
- riverbend chickopp
- steve-
- stewat, tammara
- su
- talbot, judy
- todd (***I tried to use this today to call Todd, my brother, and my step dad, Steve answered his work phone)
- uhyaxnp, anppuv?
I am not making any of this up. Someone please call child services.
Late Night Rambling List
QT and I just finished up some work that we decided could be completed at the local watering hole. So now we will create a joint list, in the form of the game, Movie/Actor. Who will win?!?
QT:Movie/PJ:Actor
Go:
Michael Clayton
George Clooney
Leatherheads
Renee Zellweger
Cold Mountain
Eileen Atkins
The Village?? (checking IMDB................not correct!)
I win.
Try again?
Pootie Tang
Ice Cube? (checking IMDB................not correct!)
QT wins.
Try again?
In the Bedroom
Marisa Tomei
Untamed Heart
Christian Slater
Gleaming the Cube
Martha Plimpton? (checking IMDB..................Not correct!)
QT wins. 2 out of 3. However, this does not count because QT thought he was talking about *Pump Up the Volume*. Anyway, try again?
Spaceballs
Bill Pullman
Independence Day
Will Smith
Hitch
Kevin James
Chuck & Larry Get Married or Something?
Adam Sandler
Click
Drew Barrymore? Wrong.
QT wins again (except for how he said Chuck and Larry Get Married or Something?) and we go again....
The Dark Knight
Gary Oldman
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Sadie Frost
Married to Jude Law? Gattaca? Almost correct.
I win. Next?
Slumdog Millionaire
Frieda Pinto
well, that backfired. I win. Again?
Casino Royale
Judi Dench
Elizabeth
Cate Blanchett
The Talented Mr. Ripley
And with that we will agree that either this movie or The English Patient is the prettiest movie ever made.
(they are making us leave)
QT:Movie/PJ:Actor
Go:
Michael Clayton
George Clooney
Leatherheads
Renee Zellweger
Cold Mountain
Eileen Atkins
The Village?? (checking IMDB................not correct!)
I win.
Try again?
Pootie Tang
Ice Cube? (checking IMDB................not correct!)
QT wins.
Try again?
In the Bedroom
Marisa Tomei
Untamed Heart
Christian Slater
Gleaming the Cube
Martha Plimpton? (checking IMDB..................Not correct!)
QT wins. 2 out of 3. However, this does not count because QT thought he was talking about *Pump Up the Volume*. Anyway, try again?
Spaceballs
Bill Pullman
Independence Day
Will Smith
Hitch
Kevin James
Chuck & Larry Get Married or Something?
Adam Sandler
Click
Drew Barrymore? Wrong.
QT wins again (except for how he said Chuck and Larry Get Married or Something?) and we go again....
The Dark Knight
Gary Oldman
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Sadie Frost
Married to Jude Law? Gattaca? Almost correct.
I win. Next?
Slumdog Millionaire
Frieda Pinto
well, that backfired. I win. Again?
Casino Royale
Judi Dench
Elizabeth
Cate Blanchett
The Talented Mr. Ripley
And with that we will agree that either this movie or The English Patient is the prettiest movie ever made.
(they are making us leave)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
my thoughts on whole foods
things i like
- salad in a box - mixed greens, blue cheese, walnuts and roasted tomatoes
- chicken pot stickers and the awesome dipping sauce
- not having to print stickers for your vegetables
- it is not crowded
- they have the good pita chips
- the seafood
things i do not like
- they do not have the good hummus
- the bakery is terrible
- it is small and has no selection
- it has very few "regular" products
- it is the most expensive place in houston
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Things You Probably Didn't Know About: The Last Templar
- It's a Made-for-TV movie with the caliber of stars you would expect for something like this.
- Mira Sorvino is the lead...she plays an archaeologist named Tess Chaykin.
- The movie opens at a museum where they are displaying ancient artifacts (I'm guessing worth billions of dollars). Tess is one of the attendees. This is where we get to know her and how sassy she is.
- Suddenly, four men dressed as Templar Knights storm the museum (on HORSES), behead the one security guard standing outside, and steal the artifacts. Well, when one of the men steals a gold cross (which Tess's dad discovered) she yells "Hey! That doesn't belong to you!" and grabs a gold staff and tries to knock him off his horse. When they get away, Tess follows, jumps on a police horse stationed outside the museum (she's wearing a dress and high heels, btw) and follows the man with the gold cross. She meets up with him in Central Park and they have a joust. Yes. A joust. She wins, knocking him off the horse. The police come and arrest her.
- FBI shows up to the museum led by Agent Sean Daly (say it with me...Scott Foley) who immediately falls for the sassy Tess.
- Oh yeah, this movie was based on a NOVEL. That means not only did someone take the time to write this story in novel form, but someone published it and then SOLD the rights to make a movie. Someone else then adapted the novel into a screenplay and then someone directed it.
- Back at FBI, Agent Sean Daly is getting yelled at by his boss (a woman). She says "One of New York's finest is beheaded by a medieval knight."
- While looking at the video of the robbery, one of Sean's co-workers says to him "They've got helmets on so no tattoos or marks to ID them."
- Meanwhile, back at home, Tess and her 7-year-old daughter use google search to unlock the secret to the robbery that the FBI and police are too stupid to discover.
- Tess goes to the hospital to visit her friend who was hurt at the museum (you see? her MALE friend got hurt, but she didn't. She's just as tough, if not TOUGHER than any man). While at the hospital, she learns that the man she jousted is on the same floor. So she casually slips into the room where they keep all the doctor's lab coats (in case anyone needs one) and slips out posed as...a doctor. She goes to the door where the man is being held and easily gets past the security guard. While inside she convinces him to tell her secrets that are over 700 years old and he does, because she is scary.
- After she leaves, a man shows up, flashes a fake FBI badge, and gets inside (this security guard is doing a great job so far). The man gets inside, bla bla bla, kills the guy, and then leaves.
- Now, Agent Sean Daly is confused. His only lead in the robbery is dead. So he and the rest of the FBI examine the video tapes from the hospital where he tells his boss "Everyone going into the room checks out...except for a female doctor we haven't been able to identify yet and an FBI agent."
- This is about 38 minutes into the movie and where I pressed "stop" on the player.
- You're welcome.
Monday, May 4, 2009
things my brother cooked this weekend...i think
my brother the chef lives with me. this is good and bad. bad - i come home from a weekend out of town and find pots and pans and bowls and appliances everywhere. and this is what i think he made.
- some sort of savory cookie/cracker - (mixer is covered in flour and still plugged in; cookies are in Tupperware)
- a pot of coffee - (coffee maker is still plugged in and half full)
- hot tea (french press full of tea leaves on the counter)
- a roast chicken - (Tupperware full of chicken in fridge - first find to not send me into a rage)
- a jar of pickled ramps - (had to ask - bc this really looks like a jar of weeds)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A Few Things You Don't Know About Me
1. I've seen every movie Kate Bosworth has been in...and liked 'em all (particularly Rules of Attraction...hmmm).
2. I won my dorm award for "The Student Who Has Changed the Least Since Childhood." I was mortified to see a picture of me as a toddler in my dorm hall Freshman year. Apparently the RA's got parents to send in pics of their cherished ones, and, well, my Mom has always been a joiner. I'm not sure which award was more humiliating - this one, or one I received when working at Blockbuster for being "Perky." Yep, that's the one.
3. I swear...a lot. Should you ask them, most people who have spent any time with me will say that I never swear. And I don't...when I'm with people. When I'm on my own it's a different matter. If I'm alone and I drop something, or forget something, or get frustrated with the computer the air turns blue and I'm cursing like…what swears a lot? A navvy? A trooper? Al Swearingen?.
It's not a conscious decision to switch this language off when in company. I never think "ooh, I'm really vexed, but I musn't say fuck". It simply doesn't happen and I very, very rarely feel the need for it. Years of some kind of trying to be a good boy have conditioned me to be polite, which has its advantages. On the few occasions that I do swear it has much effect.
4. I find extreme atheists and religious fundamentalists equally irrational. Having no degree of agnosticism whatsoever, and placing absolute faith in the existence/non-existence of any deity is, in my opinion, illogical.
5. I dislike any form of synchronous communication, primarily because it leaves almost no time to think of about my response. I can only just bear forms of communication like Sametime and BBM which are only just synchronous, and as most people who've ever spoken to me on either will know, it is not unheard of me taking five minutes to reply.
6. Everything you think you know is wrong. All the world's a stage/And all the men and women are merely players. Very little of how I appear externally is how I am internally. Only one or two people really know me.
7. I cried (borderline weeeeppppeeeedddd) during the West Wing series finale. In related news, "Tomorrow" is my favorite word.
2. I won my dorm award for "The Student Who Has Changed the Least Since Childhood." I was mortified to see a picture of me as a toddler in my dorm hall Freshman year. Apparently the RA's got parents to send in pics of their cherished ones, and, well, my Mom has always been a joiner. I'm not sure which award was more humiliating - this one, or one I received when working at Blockbuster for being "Perky." Yep, that's the one.
3. I swear...a lot. Should you ask them, most people who have spent any time with me will say that I never swear. And I don't...when I'm with people. When I'm on my own it's a different matter. If I'm alone and I drop something, or forget something, or get frustrated with the computer the air turns blue and I'm cursing like…what swears a lot? A navvy? A trooper? Al Swearingen?.
It's not a conscious decision to switch this language off when in company. I never think "ooh, I'm really vexed, but I musn't say fuck". It simply doesn't happen and I very, very rarely feel the need for it. Years of some kind of trying to be a good boy have conditioned me to be polite, which has its advantages. On the few occasions that I do swear it has much effect.
4. I find extreme atheists and religious fundamentalists equally irrational. Having no degree of agnosticism whatsoever, and placing absolute faith in the existence/non-existence of any deity is, in my opinion, illogical.
5. I dislike any form of synchronous communication, primarily because it leaves almost no time to think of about my response. I can only just bear forms of communication like Sametime and BBM which are only just synchronous, and as most people who've ever spoken to me on either will know, it is not unheard of me taking five minutes to reply.
6. Everything you think you know is wrong. All the world's a stage/And all the men and women are merely players. Very little of how I appear externally is how I am internally. Only one or two people really know me.
7. I cried (borderline weeeeppppeeeedddd) during the West Wing series finale. In related news, "Tomorrow" is my favorite word.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Things You Probably Didn't Know About: While She Was Out Part II
- I am now 33 minutes into this movie and have to stop it.
- After leaving the mall she crashed her car in an abandoned construction site and found a tool box.
- The "thugs" (led by Lukas Haas) are chasing her.
- I decided to read the Netflix description of the film and this is what it says word-for-word: What starts out as a Christmas Eve trip to the mall ends up as an exercise in terror for suburban mom Della Myers (Kim Basinger) when she finds herself stranded in a forest and pursued by a quartet of thugs.. all because she's left an angry note on their car. The baddies (including Lukas Haas) chase her from the mall, and when she crashes her car in a wooded area, she has nothing to fend off her attackers but her wits and her toolbox.
- Exercise in terror.
- Stranded in a forest.
- Quartet of thugs.
- Angry note.
- Baddies
- Wooded area.
- Toolbox.
- Wow.
Things You Probably Didn't Know About: While She Was Out
- It is the worst movie ever made.
- Kim Basinger won an Academy Award and yet, is still the worst actress alive.
- It is one of the funniest movies ever made.
- I am only 20 minutes into it right now and here's what happened so far...
- Her abusive stock-broker husband came home to find the house in shambles and started a fight with her on Christmas Eve.
- She went to the mall ON CHRISTMAS EVE to buy wrapping paper.
- Please re-read the last one...
- She left a note on a car that was taking up two parking spaces.
- The car belonged to a group of wild teenagers (because where else would they be on Christmas Eve?) who are omniscient and knew that she was the one who wrote the note.
- They blocked her in and told her to "eat dick".
- They murdered the mall security guard.
- She got away...
bummers
- My A/C is broken and won't be fixed until next week, at the earliest. It will probably cost a lot of money.
- Monday's ridiculous rain storm caused water damage in the downstairs bedroom and now I have a hole in the ceiling.
- This seems like a lot to me since I have only made three mortgage payments.
- My watch stopped keeping time. I got that in Jamaica 4 years ago, so that's not too bad.
- Last week I went to New Orleans and when I got back to the airport my car was dead. It is 7 months old, so that's pretty dumb.
- Three days ago my phone broke, completely. It is 5 months old.
My constant reference to the movie *The Money Pit* has given me new opportunities to discuss the comedic brilliance of Shelley Long with others. Although no one seems to know what I am talking about.
Also, today my co-worker Monica touched my phone. Like, that is all she did, touched it. And now it works. I had made the rounds with tech support and tried all sorts of touching and rebooting and reactivating and it was still dead. So I am wondering if I should have Monica come over and take care of the rest of these things.
I am off to a wedding.
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