Maybe I Should Buy Tickets And Go Anyway?

Back in March, I bought 4 tickets to see Courtney Barnett tonight at Stubb's. Late last week I learned I had to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning, and for a while, I was still planning to go to the show. But this girl is TIRED. So when I got home from another work trip last night, I decided to sell my tickets (I only had Erica coming with me so far anyway, and I know she will secretly delight in canceled plans). Here is what happened that makes me question just who or what I am supposed to encounter at Stubb's tonight. Spoiler: I won't. I did sell the tickets--whether I will ever see the proceeds is another story.

• Created Seatgeek account
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Was informed that I could only upload original PDF tickets, not scanned paper copies
• Checked to make sure I was using original PDF tickets, which I was (duh)
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets x 4
• Decided to log in to ticket seller website to see if I could download higher quality original PDF tickets
• Found that there is no login link from ticket seller's website
• Searched for about 20 minutes to figure out a way to login to ticket seller's website via Stubb's
• Downloaded new original PDF tickets
• Prayed that 50 KB was vastly superior to 47 KB
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets x2
• Went to bed
• Got up
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Contacted support and was told to clear browser cache and try again, but if that didn't work, I would need to sell elsewhere
• Cleared browser cache
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Nope
• Decided to sell on Stubhub
• Attempted to create new account
• Was informed that I already had an account
• Reset password
• Successfully uploaded original PDF tickets!!
• Googled for a solution to their insistence that I enter different seat numbers even though the tickets were general admission
• Entered my credit card number, email address associated with paypal, mailing address, etc.
• Thought to myself: this account must be REALLY old if the last time I used it, I paid with a Mastercard
• Clicked on my Profile and saw that the account was linked to someone in Louisiana with a similar (but not identical) email address
• Got notice at my own email address that I sold two of the tickets, that I would be paid via paypal to my own email address (but not the email address I told them was associated with my paypal account)
• Logged into paypal and added other email address
• Contacted support and convinced Chanise M. in an online chat that I was telling the truth
• Was told, "this is certainly one for the history books!"
• Got notice at my own email address that I sold the other two tickets
• Felt remorse that I am not going and that the universe must really, really want me there

People, Places, and Things in High-Rise

SPOILER ALERT

Things Plugged Into the Generator

• Coffee pot
• Lamp (1)
• iPhones (2)

Airport Security Line

Happy Thanksgiving!

According to this article, the three most popular Google searches the day before Thanksgiving last year were:

• Ham shop
• Pie shop
• Liquor store

Culture I Consumed Halloween Weekend

Finished Where'd You Go, Bernadette, a book I put on my to-read list so long ago, I couldn't remember why it was there. Then I finished it and read that the author wrote for Arrested Development, among other shows. I really liked it. The story was good, and I kept wishing I was original enough to have those kinds of hilarious little (little in the best way) observations on life. I do NOT recommend the audiobook, as the actor reading it is horrible. It's as though she doesn't speak English but can pronounce the words perfectly phonetically, but with emphasis in all the wrong places. Kathleen Wilhoite, whom I recognized as Luke's crazy sister from Gilmore Girls, in case you're wondering. Also, it's a weird format for audio. You'll see.
 

Saw Salt N Peppa in concert. Excuse me--saw a "Salt N Peppa Experience," which I'm assuming came about because they have about 5 songs anyone would recognize so they pad the show by testing the audience's "old school hip hop" cred by asking us to sing along to such deep cuts as "Tricky" by Run DMC. It totally worked on me. Quite possibly* broke my ankle walking from dinner to the show.

 
Started watching Casual on Hulu. So weird and good. 

Started re-reading Where'd You Go, Bernadette. Wanted to process some things that I didn't quite understand the first time knowing what I know now. You know?

*I didn't break my ankle. 

It's more like I jammed it, like a jammed finger. Is that a thing?

Cocktails at Bourbon and Branch (San Francisco)

On your next trip to San Francisco I highly recommend making a reservation at Bourbon and Branch. Pat, Alison, and I went this weekend, and among the three of us we had the following cocktails:

• Heavy Artillery
• Crooked Smile
• Seersucker
• Holy Smokes
• Dead Ringer
• Frank Lloyd Wright
• Fourth Regiment
• Revolver 

T-Shirts I saw at the Faith No More concert

Pearl Jam
Jason
Faith No More (obvs)
Napalm Death
"Kill for Weed"
Megadeath
Melvins
Bolt Thrower
Guns N Roses
Nirvana
Dallas Cowboys
Les Claypool
Tool
Black Lips
Slayer
Batman
"Talk Shit Eat Shit" "
Dress Like a Target"
"Beer"
Superjoint
Los Fantomas
Van Halen
"Hail to the King Baby"
Jimi Hendrix
Pigface
Nine Inch Nails
Primus
Motorhead

Fancybaby

My friend's two-year-old daughter eats only the following:

• Potato chips
• Smoothies with ice cream
• Cornichons
• White beans
• Artichokes
• Olives
• Manchego cheese
• Black Forest ham
• Chipotle mayo
• Mom and Pops popsicles

Things Carried By Cyclists in Montreal

Hi, y'all. I have a bunch of draft lists on my phone that P.Jenks told me I should post to try to revive List Anything. I will start with this one from last fall. Montreal is a huge cycling city, and our first afternoon there, we sat sheltered from a light drizzle drinking wine at a sidewalk cafe, watching a parade of cyclists carrying such bulky things in baskets or their hands. The funniest one was actually a little girl's look of absolute terror as she rode along with her parents, but she had no cargo (she carried...fear?). Anyway.

• Flowers
• Baguette (of course!)
• Lumber
• A dog with a ball
• Trombone
• 24-pack of toilet paper (in lap)

July-December 2014 MVPs

With no particular criteria in mind, I present to you July-December's list of MVPs. 

Gents of the half-year
Richard Burton (The VIPs, The Taming of the Shrew)
Manolo Cardona (Undertow)
Keir Dullea (2001)
Chris Evans (Captain America, Winter Soldier, Snowpiercer, Sunshine)
Spencer Tracy (Fury, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner)

Ladies of the half-year
Anne Bancroft (The Graduate)
Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow)
Essie Davis (The Babadook)
Sylvia Sidney (Fury)
Vanessa Redgrave (Coriolanus)

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, Lists #7-12

Happy New Year!  Here's everything I watched since July 1, so 6 lists in one. Same deal as the others--chronological order of watching with a meaningless grade and not many comments because too many months and too many movies.

• Foreign Correspondent (1940) - B 
• Wings (1927) - A / I thought I'd get bored. I never did. 
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - A+
• Fury (1936) - A-
• Scarlet Street (1945) - B / Back-to-back Fritz Lang makes a good double feature.
• The Barefoot Contessa (1954) - C-
• Stop Making Sense (1986) - A
• Captain America (2011) - B 
• Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) - B+
• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) - C- / There is just no need for this. (And I would watch LOTR any day of the week.)
• Sin City (2005) -B- 
• Alice (1990) - C- 
• The V.I.P.s (1963) - C
• The Taming of the Shrew (1967) - B-
• High Moon (2014) - B- / Someone really should have produced/aired this as a series.
• Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - A / "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
• Zodiac (2007) - B+
• All That Jazz (1979) - A
• Closer (2004) - B+
• Bonnie and Clyde (1967) - A
• The Graduate (1967) - A
• In the Heat of the Night (1967) - A-
• Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) - B
• Doctor Doolittle (1967) - C
• Enough Said (2013) - B+
• Snowpiercer (2014) - A / More movies like this, please.
• September (1987) - B
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) - B-
• Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live Die Repeat) (2014) - A- / Or like this.
• Julia (1978) - D / What a disappointment. Gah.
• Another Woman (1988) - B+
• The Big Country (1958) - A-
• My Darling Clementine (1946) - A
• Sunshine (2007) - A-
• The Babadook (2014) - A- 
• The Goodbye Girl  (1978) - C
• Lantana (2001) - A-
• The Story of Louis Pasteur (1937) - A-
• Ida (2014) - A-
• Blue Ruin (2013) - B+
• Undertow (2013) - B+
• Ascension (2014) - D
• Undertow (2004) - B+
• Coriolanus (2011) - B+ 

Mother

Here are the reasons why my mother, who is 70 years old, is deciding AGAINST zip-lining on her upcoming anniversary vacation.

• She doesn't think she has the upper body strength to hold onto the zip line, and is positive that is the only thing keeping her from plummeting to her death.  She was GENUINELY surprised when I told her that I'm sure they have back ups to prevent that sort of thing.  Which makes it that much crazier that she was still considering it.
• She is terrified of heights. Which makes it that much crazier that she was still considering it.
• She watched documentaries about it and doesn't think it would be very fun.  Why would people have fun doing that? 

"My" Pinterest Boards

I got an email welcoming me (actually, someone named Derek Blanchard) to Pinterest.  Say hello to Derek. He looks awfully nice:

So far, Derek has created the following boards:

• "Halloween"
• Knives
• Guns
• Cars
• Love

Words

Words I Do Not Pronounce Consistently *

• Economic (eh and ee)
• Route (ow and oo)
• Caramel (car and care)

Words Some People Think It Is OK to Pronounce Either Way, But They're Wrong

• Mueller (miller always, never myoo-ler**)
• Lawyer (law-yer, not loyer)
• Pecan (pick-ahn, obvs)
• Syrup (not sear-up)

Words I Cannot Pronounce

• Muir (as in Woods)

*VOTE!

**It makes me cringe that I even had to type that out. Actually, all of those but "loyer" are pretty awful.

June 2014 MVPs

I'm so late!  It's already time to do July's lists. Who cares? This place is a ghost town :-(

With no particular criteria in mind, I present to you June's list of monthly MVPs. 

Gents of the month
Cary Grant (Bringing Up Baby)
Van Heflin (The Feminine Touch)
Arthur Kennedy (Bend of the River)
Charles Korvin (Berlin Express)
James Mason (A Star Is Born)
 
Ladies of the month
Kay Francis (The Feminine Touch)
Judy Garland (A Star Is Born)
Katharine Hepburn (Bringing Up Baby)
Anna Magnani (The Rose Tattoo)
Ann Sothern (The Blue Gardenia)

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, List #6

I was on the road a lot in June, but I managed to get some movies in.  Here's my list -- chronological order of watching with a grade I gave it at the time and a comment or two about what I remember now.

• Toys in the Attic (1963) - C+ / You should know that I love Geraldine Page, and therefore this should be watched. But I think all you need to know about this movie is in this poster.
• Winchester '73 (1950) - B+ / I'm gonna watch all five of the Anthony Mann westerns with James Stewart. This is the first, and we're off to a good start. Rock Hudson's Young Bull is both a highlight and lowlight of this one. 
• Queen of Outer Space (1958) - A+? F-? Who cares?? / Oh, Zsa Zsa. You have to see this to believe it, especially in its restored beauty. 
• Bend in the River  (1952) - B- / The second of the Mann/Stewart westerns. Rock Hudson works better as a card shark.
• The Feminine Touch (1941) - C / I didn't think Rosalind Russell could be upstaged but both Kay Francis and Van Heflin managed to do it. 
• Bringing Up Baby  (1938) - A / Never gets old.
• A Star is Born  (1954) - A /  This is another one I always thought I would hate. And another that I got wrong, wrong, wrong. And I'm finally gaga for Judy Garland. All in.
• High Plains Drifter  (1973) - B / Somehow there is not one likeable character, but I liked it a lot anyway.
• Berlin Express  (1948) - C / I love the idea, but it doesn't quite work as well as I'd hope.
• The Blue Gardenia (1953) - B / Remind me to steer clear of Singapore Slings. This story is like watching one of my recurring nightmares play out.
• The Rose Tattoo  (1955) - B  / So much emotion! Sometimes it hits just right. Sometimes.... Crimson Tide.

Suzanne Sugarbaker's Morning Routine

I know y'all have heard me go on about how Designing Women isn't on tv at all while the far inferior Golden Girls can be seen 47 times a day. Well. LOGO to the rescue! A list from my Sunday marathon.

Charlene:  Good morning Suzanne.

Suzanne:  What's good about it? It's just another morning like yesterday morning and the morning before that...

• Take a bath 
• Do your nails
• Watch Wheel of Fortune
• Eat candy

Overheard at the Family Reunion, 2014

In chronological order


...and her voice is kind of annoying...
Oh, her voice is the FIRST thing that annoys you!

I'm not going to turn down a beer.

When you google stuff, are you actually googling it or safari-ing it?

Why not?
I've just never wanted to.
You should do it! Put it on your bucket list.
A bucket list is supposed to be shit you WANT to do.

Somebody called me to sell me something, so I started talking like Bobcat Gold-wait.

Terry's in jail?
Mmmhmmm. And that's probably why he's not on Facebook.

They've reopened the case. You know I kept that book all these years. I had it before anybody knew it was a book... Lori stole it.

[On a bet regarding his just-born daughter's weight with the doctor who had just delivered her] Well, Doc, you've kinda got an advantage. You're holding her. I'd have to hold her by the mouth over the side of a boat.

It goes for $400 an ounce.
[bat guano]

Hey, Julie. You wanna go fishing?

Old Leon W*****d's glasses didn't help, so he threw 'em away. One morning he got up in Houston to drive to Las Vegas. Said all he could see was the white line, so he followed that white line all the way to Vegas.

Now, listen to this shit (and I deserved it).

I love the smell of the woods. It's so...woodsy.

Nowadays people are defrauding their own self.

[Recitation of pi to the first 100 digits--he knows 547]

Movies I Have (almost) Watched Recently...

Unlike P. Jenks, I have lost all patience for movies.  Mostly it depends upon my mood but looking back at my netflix history I would say I'm in need of some Strattera or something..

Since May 9th...

• Bobcat Goldthwait: You Don't Look the Same Either - 4 minutes
• Full Tilt Boogie - 11 minutes
• The Pervert's Guide to Ideology - 29 minutes
• Stephen Fry in America - 9 minutes
• Company: A Musical Comedy - 39 minutes
• Best Worst Movie - 40 minutes
• The Hidden Hand: Alien Contact and the Government Cover-up - 2 minutes
• The Secret Village - 1 minute (no joke)
• Anatomy of a Murder - 160 minutes :)
• Machete Kills - 7 minutes
• Much Ado About Nothing - 9 minutes
• Evidence - 29 minutes
• Scarlet Street - 5 minutes
• False Witness - 4 minutes
• Call Northside 777 - 40 minutes (I do plan on finishing this one)
• Phantom - 4 minutes
• Hammett - 10 minutes
• Left Behind - 10 minutes