Quotes in my Blackberry's "MemoPad"

I like to type things people say into my phone. I just got a new phone and now I need to do something with these gems. I've decided to list some here.

• "I don't like TVs in the bedroom. It hinders conversation and romance."  - DJ 
• "For five dollars I got two pitchforks full of beef. And they were gross." - Candice
• "Hey dickcheese! What's in a gypsy bomb?!" - Drunk guy, at the Waterin Hole in Kerrville yelling across the patio
• "If you want a music scene, you've got Seattle; you've got Dallas." - Drunk guy, at Komodo in Houston
• "I went to the farmer's market. There was this old lady there. She was nice, so I bought her jelly."  - Michael 
• "I don't have hair like you. That protective sheath of ducks' locks." - Derek, to me.
• "His breath is like the gulf coast." - Kim, about Jose [RIP]
• "That's a medium?!" - Pat, about a coke at the movie theater, to the theater employee who sold it to him
• "Did they have depraved childhoods?" - Paz, about kids who didn't know the Thundercats
• "This looks crowded!" - Paz, looking at a picture of Mardi Gras, explaining why we need to hurry to get downtown for Mardi Gras
• "You don't want to be the guy at the party who brings his dog." - Ragan
• "What are you, 80? Sensodyne?" - Walt
• "Random dogs in cars can be a dangerous thing." - Will
• "He's like a friend but he's just talking to you all the time." - Will, about Brian Williams
• "You know what? I'm gonna have a lemonade." - Grown man, to the girl taking his order at Becks when she asked if he'd like anything to drink.
• "Are those your drink sizes, there [pointing]?" - Lemonade-ordering man, when the girl at Becks asked what size lemonade he would like.