1. Parks
2. Public Safety
3. Environmental regulation
4. Local proposition 45
5. Local proposition 86
6. Local proposition 102F
7. More Dog Parks
8. Senior Citizens Rights
9. Safe Streets
10. Safe Sidewalks
11. Better Schools
12. Lower Taxes
13. Better Parks
14. Better business climate
15. Better Better Business Bureau
16. Cleaner Streets
17. Improve greenways
18. More snow plows
19. Protecting Pawneeans
20. Improving tourism
21. More trash cans
22. Energy-efficient street lights
23. Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project
24. Repaving Grand Avenue
25. More Teachers
26. Fewer Libraries
27. Improve intergovernmental agency communication
28. Clean-up barefoot lake
29. Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4
30. Playgrounds in every park
31. Playgrounds in every schoolyard
32. Playgrounds in every residential block
33. Clean energy
34. One police officer for every 5 citizens
35. One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons
36. Resodding Hilltop Cemetery
37. Start talking to Cuba again
38. Emergency evacuation drills
39. Plow For Charity
40. Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee
41. Challenging the norm
42. Pawnee Corn Subsidies
43. Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea
44. Official peace treaty with Wamapoke Tribe
45. Four-way stops at every intersection
46. Unionizing ice cream trucks
47. Get Europe out of debt
48. Free trade with Illinois
49. Enact RRP- Raccoon Relocation Project
50. Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service
51. Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff
52. Legalize Korean
53. Lower the obesity level
54. Stop global terrorism
55. Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo
56. Find Gabe the Toucan
57. More community gardens
58. Ordinance 11F: To re-pave City Sidewalks
59. Budget Reform
60. Updated Technologies for Local Schools
61. Better retirement benefits for city employees
62. Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling
63. Speed bumps in front of elementary schools
64. Unemployment benefits
65. Re-installing the Main St. Farmers Market
66. No turtles as pets
67. New uniforms for youth sports programs
68. Free Public Wi-Fi
69. Updated childcare facilities
70. Shutting down the Child Left Behind program
71. Handicap parking placards for the obese
72. FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE
73. Cleaner drinking water
74. Regulate heights of trampolines
75. Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"
76. Control the floods
77. Funding for public art commission
78. Fencing in correctional facilities
79. New police patrol cars
80. Funding overtime for police
81. Rebuilding the PTA
82. Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle
83. Profitable government organizations
84. Shutting down underground shooting ranges
85. Making sure city contracts employ local workers
86. Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses
87. Foster partnerships with sister cities
88. More buses to speed up morning commutes
89. More streets to accommodate additional buses
90. Require all city employees to check and respond to email
91. Working sewers
92. More parades
93. Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy
94. Leave a lasting impression on all visitors
95. Challenge the norm (Ed. note: So important it's listed twice.)
96. Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach
97. No more conflict diamonds
98. Bulletproof glass everywhere
99. Free cookies at every street corner
100. One school for every student
101. Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms
102. Develop a municipal composting operation
103. Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances
104. Upgrade existing parks
105. Create an anti-graffiti youth outreach program
106. Free cake when it's your birthday
107. Reevaluate NAFTA
108. Rickshaw Wednesdays
109. Making it illegal to refuse a hug
110. Make downtown more people-friendly
111. Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt
112. Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy
113. Better screening processes at local adoption agencies
114. Finding homes for the adopted children of Day Labor Corp.
115. Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups
116. Pawnee
117. Hot Dogs
Thanks to PJenkins for pointing me to this transcription from last night's campaign ad.
2 comments:
There is too much brilliance in this to comment on everything, but I will say this. I think #70 - Shutting down the Child Left Behind program - is my favorite, and I really hope they do an episode with Linda Trifle.
On another note. Do you prefer this font? No one ever gave me a better idea for formatting this thing.
I keep changing my mind about my favorite, but I agree re: Trifle.
I do think it is easier to read than before, but if you're asking about font specifically, I always prefer a sans serif. I learned this week, however, that men, they like the serifs.
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