Wednesday, February 4, 2009

10 Great Movies That Got Terrible Reviews

The Oscars are great and all, but for just a brief moment, I’d like to take the time to recognize a particularly endearing cross-section of films that never gets enough respect. The following are a list of ten truly terrific movies that were panned by critics upon their release, just because of their “low browness,” their narrative flaws (re: not having stories, plots, etc), or, most of all, because they’re all pretty funny and comedy can never really be considered “great.”

10. Anchorman: What exactly is the “one” joke in Anchorman’s so-called “one-joke premise”? Cause I’m pretty sure there are a bunch of jokes in it. In fact, the movie is nothing but a bunch of jokes all in a row. Is the “one joke” that the movie is only many jokes? And by that logic, could we call Paradise Lost a one-moral premise, cause it’s nothing more than a series of moral explorations? (Answer: Definitely)

9. Pootie Tang: A flick so totally and completely absurd that it’s almost poetic. Also, the film has Kristin Bell and David Cross in it so technically it's illegal to not like it.


8. Super Troopers: Far too many critics got wrapped up in the empty characterizations of the cops and the “low brow” implications of their gags to just enjoy the bevy of innocuously quotable lines and the movie’s self-deprecating triumph. Also, stop calling it “frat humor.” It’s not. I f*cking hate frats, and frats hate me, and yet we both find this movie humorous.

7. The Cable Guy: The only thing we heard about this movie in the five months surrounding its release was Jim Carrey’s $20 million pricetag, prompting automatic critical backlash about how egregiously Carrey didn’t deserve the money with no one actually loosening up and watching the damn (stupid) movie. Dietrich usedta make twenty beans’a picsha, ya see? Not money, actual beans! So this movie’s no good!

6. Zoolander: Uh oh — get out your fashion-related jabs, critics, cause Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are at the top of their game, pre-coasting, and revelling in the opportunity to play the two most ridiculous characters they possibly can! Also this movie’s portrayal of the fashion industry is not wholly accurate! Grrr!!

5. Coming To America: Murphy’s enegry level is sooooo looooowww!! Why couldn’t he have been more upbeat, like that fast-talking barber? And there’s way too much exposition!! It takes like ten minutes for them to come to America! Why is the movie called that then??? Sidenote: Are there any actual non-critic humans who don’t like this movie?

4. Wet Hot American Summer: I don’t totally blame the critics on this one, as I'm admittidly unfamiliar with the Wain/Showalter aesthetic and can see how some might find the brand of humor a bit exclusive, but that being said, I totally blame the critics on this one.

3. Billy Madison: I didn’t expect critics from non middle-school newspapers to howl through this movie three times in the theater in the first week it came out like all of us did, but surely they can recognize when a megastar simply nails down his demographic with a fearlessly wacky 90-minute gagfest? They can’t? Oh, that sucks.

2. Dumb and Dumber: I love when critics treat “lowbrow comedy” as something that should be inherently dismissed because God has damned it to the shallow end of the Social Darwinism pool, like they’re Victorian aristrocrats making haughty cracks about “the lower class” over brandy with cigars in it. We have to realize — all lowbrow comedy is the same, and by that right, we are worse humans for ever deriving pleasure from it.

1. Caddyshack: Caddyshack??? Caddyf*ckingshack?? The most nonthreateningly likeable, impossibly watchable comedy classic that everyone from ages negative ten to infinity plus one f*cking loves? What kind of joyless existence must these people live?

HONORABLE MENTIONS: UHF, Rookie of the Year, Die Hard With a Vengeance, Happy Gilmore, Ghostbusters 2, countless others.

4 comments:

Boxcar said...

If I wasn't so lazy I would counter this list with a list of horrible, horrible movies that were critically acclaimed. Blaine? Want to take this one?

Boxcar said...

Actually I'm not too lazy. Indy 4 is ranked #18 of top movies of 2008. Frost/Nixon is #21. Wanted (#35). wow. I guess that doesn't say so much about these movies as it does how BAD the movies were last year.

BEM1212 said...

Where are these rankings coming from???? Indy 4 was the worst thing I have ever seen, like, ever. More later, busy day.

BEM1212 said...

Jon / Ron -- Still working on this opposite list. It is not as easy as you think.

LIST CHALLENGE!!