Sunday, February 15, 2009

Yet Another "Best of" List...Get Over it

The Soaps

5. Entourage. You know, as much as I talk about Entourage, I don’t truly consider it one of my “favorite” shows. It’s a good show, but I mostly make it a point to watch every week just to have something to follow — it’s not unlike the one character in Slaughterhouse Five who takes a sh*t at the same time every day just so he has something he can control that the Germans can never take away from him. (Flawless analogy? Check.)

4. South Park. Hits some weeks, misses some other weeks, but it’s always worth watching for that reason. It’s also remained fiercely topical and one of the few legit sources of satire outside Colbert and The Daily Show, and nearly every episode contains at least one moment that simply won’t give up until you relent into giddy laughter.

3. Saturday Night Live. If ever a show in 2008 brought me back to my middle school days, it was SNL. Little does this show realize it had the pleasure of spending many a Saturday night live with me (yes, ME!) in my bedroom, knee socks stretched to their limits, sorbet spoon firmly placed in mouth, as I waited to see how Sarah Palin was to be lampooned by the deservedly praise-lavished Tina Fey, not to mention brilliant performances by Kristen Wiig ("Surprise Party" is a gem) and my personal favorite Fred Armisen. We were also lucky enough to see some dramatic actors push their comedic limit (Jon Hamm comes to mind), and that you should never, ever let a swimmer host the show again, no matter how many medals he has, because he probably can’t read. (Mark Spitz is so mad at me right now.)

2. Lost. Season 4 was the best Lost season yet. There aren’t any word combinations in the English language that haven’t been said about this show already, so I see no need to explain this inclusion further.

1. Mad Men. I initially groaned at the prospects of having yet another series to catch up on and more spoilers to avoid, but two iTunes purchases and one lengthy breakup later, I finally became privy to the current best show on television. It’s got the Sopranos' sense of humor and moral bankruptcy mixed with an eerily convincing 60s aesthetic, terrific characters, and more smoke than Good Night and Good Luck and Backdraft combined. Here’s hoping for a long, Sopranos-like stay on television too, only minus the 3-year gaps.

The Flicks

5. In Bruges. McDonaugh is a master of the dark comedy, and I don’t mean “dark comedy” as “buzzphrase for unfunny mean-spirited crap like Very Bad Things,” but more along the lines of “laugh-out-loud irreverence and also people get shot.” This movie not only proved that it’s possible to laugh with Colin Farrell, but also guaranteed that my next vacation will be to the city of Bruges — no city has been portrayed more breathtakingly in any film I can recall (aside from Manhattan in the movie Highlander, of course). A semi-cheesy twist in the final minutes knocked this film from “A” to “A-” territory, but it’s still a perfect Netflixer.

4. Burn After Reading. I can’t remember the last time I came out of a movie saying “you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen another film quite like that,” without promptly adding “what a load of pretentious artsy sh*tf*ck.” (SIC) I spent the entire first sixty minutes of Burn After Reading trying to figure out why the hell I was watching it and what any one thing had to to with any other thing, and then somehow, I left the theater feeling wholly and completely satisfied. I realize this description makes no sense if you haven’t seen the movie, so I’ll just end with, “More like, Love After Seeing!” Is it too late to get that quote on a one sheet?

3. Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Every Woody Allen movie hits way too close to home, even magical European fairy tales about wealthy, beautiful artists; surely more than a few audience members gulped with personal recognition when Scarlett Johansson’s character was described as “someone who doesn’t know what she wants, only what she doesn’t want,” or when Javier Bardem uttered the axiom “only unfulfilled love can be romantic.” Personally, I related to the threesome with ScarJo and Penelope Cruz, because trust me, that is exactly what it’s like.

2. Man On Wire. I’m an automatic sucker for just about any documentary, but this story of French tightrope walker Philippe Petit’s illegal 1974 high-wire performance between the Twin Towers was a life-affirming celebration of everything awesome, including a convincing definition of “art” as unselfconscious, inexplicable beauty. Plus every quote from the absurd, lovably-European Petit is hilarious; if you’re a fan of Billy Mitchell from last year's The King of Kong this is now your favorite movie. Hell, it probably will be anyway.

1b. Slumdog Millionaire. Before you even say anything, allow me to explain: I realize all the problems with this movie. It’s heavy-handed. Manipulative. Completely unbelievable and almost a touch too shmaltzy. The leads had very little chemistry. Blah blah blah GUESS WHAT? I LIKED IT ANYWAY, OK? Yeah, that’s right! I liked the use of a Game Show to move the plot along. Mmmhmm! You know what else? I felt BAD for Jamal! With my human, beating heart, I did! I loved this movie! So take your high-brow ass out of my FACE before I get angry!

1a. The Dark Knight. Not much to say about this movie that hasn’t been said already. And if this is too obvious of a #1 selection for you, then flip-flop it with Man On Wire and suddenly behold my unique and insightful movie list!

Honorable Mentions: Wall-E, Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, There Will Be Blood (IT. WAS. THAT. GOOD.).

Biggest Disappointments: Australia, Pineapple Express, Baby Mama, Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Where Knowledge Was Their Treasure.

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