Thursday, February 26, 2009

10 Songs To Help You Get Through These Tough Economic Times

10. Got Money by Lil Wayne
“I need a Winn-Dixie grocery bag full of money.” Yes. We all do Mr. Wayne.

9. Can’t Tell Me Nothing by Kanye West
Maybe this song helps you escape into the egomaniacal fantasy land of Kanye West. Or maybe it’s a message about living beyond your means. Either way - make sure you look really indignant when listening to this on your morning commute.

8. Every song by Rage Against The Machine
F******************CK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. She Works Hard For The Money by Donna Summer
Do you think it’s easy giving thirty to forty hand jobs a day??? You better treat me right!

6. Every song by Jewel
She lived out of her car you guys. She KNOWS what we’re going through.

5. Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson
Self-explanatory.

4. My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme from Titanic) by Celine Dion
You’re stranded on a piece of debris in the middle of the icy waters…and you’re hanging on to your 401(k). Your 401(k) says to you, “Puh-puh-puh-puh-lease…n-n-n-n-never let g-g-go…,” and then, you realize, your 401(k) has died. BUT YOUR HEART WILL GO ON!...stupid, utterly stupid

3. Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems by Notorious B.I.G.
IF Mo Money = Mo Problems, THEN, No Money = No Problems. You’re welcome. They don’t call me Ronald “Good Will Hunting” Rucker for nothin’.

2. Chariots Of Fire Theme by Vangelis
Investing in the stock market is a marathon - not a sprint. Remember that.

1. My Little Buttercup by The Three Amigos
Because there’s never a time when this song ISN’T helpful. Though playing this on loop while drinking alone staring at a loaded pistol is not advisable.