- Drink less. In fact, go as long as I can go without drinking (current record: 60 days).
- Finish at LEAST 3 good screenplays.
- Move out of my parent's house. *I realize this should probably be #1
- Watch a new movie EVERY DAY.
- Get a job. *This might interfere with #1, 2, and 4.
- Meet a girl who isn't, deep down inside, a wretched, decayed soul.
- Lose 40 lbs. You read that correctly. 40. That's like 3 dead dogs and an alligator.
- See all my friends in Texas at least once.
- Read 40 books. I was going to go 50 but then I decided to go with one book per pound.
- Live long enough to see next year.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Boxcar's New Year's Resolutions...
LIST CHALLENGE!!!
I would really like to see some New Year's Resolutions by January 1st. Let's say 5- 10? And I know this isn't a list but whenever you entitle your list "List Challenge" it automatically excuses you from having to make a list according to the rule I just made up.
Professions Paz is going to pursue once he moves to New York
- UN Spanish Interpreter - for example - "Quesadilla? No se. " That was Paz's example of his Spanish speaking skills
- UN Flag Boy - given the poor Spanish skills from 1 above - he decided being the guy that put all of those flags up and down everyday was more realistic
- Jazz musician - because the guy at brunch looked cool and dealing with all of those flags isn't a full time job.
- Street musician - most likely a Reggae drummer - this was really because we saw one and thought it looked cool
I think there was also some talk of being a street vendor Imagine being in New York with a 10 year old trapped in a 30 year old body....
Things That Are Driving Me Crazy This Holiday Season
- My mom not believing me that the mailman really doesn't give a shit whether he gets a ten dollar bill or ten ones. He'll take anything. And furthermore, it doesn't need to be a perfect, crisp bill. And further further more, he'd be happier with a twenty.
- My step-dad not believing me that the reason his winter cap sticks out above his head is that he's supposed to pull it down over his ears TO KEEP THEM WARM. Instead he just looked at me, sincerely, and said "that's not how you wear them". You know, because of the rules. I guess we'll never understand why that "medium" sized hat is just too darn big.
- My step-dad not understanding why I signed my mom up for a new email address with yahoo (one that uses her full name) instead of keeping her old one (16 years old) that uses SOME of her initials along with numbers at AOL.COM.
- The "post-office" in Somers, CT that has ONE person working at all times.
- My step-dad is starting his Christmas shopping today. Monday. December 21st. AND is taking my mom's car instead of his own truck because, let's be honest, somebody could scratch it.
- I am running dangerously low on vodka.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Snap Judgment: '10 Golden Globe Nods
GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Lea Michele (natch), Jane Lynch (damn straight), Matthew Morrison (ouch)
The future Mrs. Jim Halpert (Emily Blunt) snuck in. We'll hear her name called again in late January.
Refreshing to see Julia Roberts (Duplicity) - never thought I'd write those words
Need to see Avatar. Better yet, want to see Avatar
Sad to see Renner (The Hurt Locker) overshadowed by the star power...Oscar will redeem him.
Have two formerly married directors ever competed against each other? And where the f*ck is Lee Daniels?
January Jones. January Jones. January Jones.
No love for the cast of Modern Family. Boo.
Dexter. Finale. Lithgow. Wow.
The future Mrs. Jim Halpert (Emily Blunt) snuck in. We'll hear her name called again in late January.
Refreshing to see Julia Roberts (Duplicity) - never thought I'd write those words
Need to see Avatar. Better yet, want to see Avatar
Sad to see Renner (The Hurt Locker) overshadowed by the star power...Oscar will redeem him.
Have two formerly married directors ever competed against each other? And where the f*ck is Lee Daniels?
January Jones. January Jones. January Jones.
No love for the cast of Modern Family. Boo.
Dexter. Finale. Lithgow. Wow.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Employees I do not like
The worst: Lowe's. I can not imagine being the guy who sat through the selection process of these people.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Movies on my iPod Touch
- No Country for Old Men
- Harold and Maude
- Dumb and Dumber
- Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
- The Royal Tenenbaums
- Role Models
- No Country for Old Men
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Reasons Why I Am Fasting This Week
posted on behalf of Lacy
(Also known as "Just Some of the Things I ate in New Orleans Last Week, Not Even Counting the Things I Ate During Two Thanksgivings, a Birthday Party or LSU Tailgate")
- Alligator, sausage, shrimp cheesecake topped with hollandaise sauce
- Veal cheek with mushrooms and gnocchi
- Fried grouper topped with crawfish etouffe
- Pork cheek
- Cochon de lait
- Fried alligator
- Pork ribs
- Boudin balls
- Regular boudin
- Cracklins
- Braised boar
- Fried sweetbreads
- Beignets
- More Old Fashioneds than I can count (did you know that a true Old Fashioned is NOT served with ice?)
- Fried tilapia
- Fried shrimp
- Fried okra
- Chargrilled oysters covered in butter, parmesan and bread crumbs
- Turtle soup
- Gumbo more times than I can count with more "exotic" meats than I care to mention
(Also known as "Just Some of the Things I ate in New Orleans Last Week, Not Even Counting the Things I Ate During Two Thanksgivings, a Birthday Party or LSU Tailgate")
- Alligator, sausage, shrimp cheesecake topped with hollandaise sauce
- Veal cheek with mushrooms and gnocchi
- Fried grouper topped with crawfish etouffe
- Pork cheek
- Cochon de lait
- Fried alligator
- Pork ribs
- Boudin balls
- Regular boudin
- Cracklins
- Braised boar
- Fried sweetbreads
- Beignets
- More Old Fashioneds than I can count (did you know that a true Old Fashioned is NOT served with ice?)
- Fried tilapia
- Fried shrimp
- Fried okra
- Chargrilled oysters covered in butter, parmesan and bread crumbs
- Turtle soup
- Gumbo more times than I can count with more "exotic" meats than I care to mention
People born on December 1 besides me
No need to watch ET tonight. Here are some of the famous people born on this day:
Madam Tussaud - 1761
Lou Rawls - 1933
Woody Allen - 1935
Lee Trevino - 1939
Richard Pryor - 1940
Bette Midler - 1945
Pablo Escobar - 1949
Nestor Carbonell (Lost's Richard Alpert!!) - 1967
Emily Mortimer - 1971
Laura Ling: (imprisoned Korean-American journalist and winner of DJ's first annual "People Who Were Asking For It Award") - 1976
Jared Fogle (the [formerly fat] nerd who promotes Subway) - 1977
Madam Tussaud - 1761
Lou Rawls - 1933
Woody Allen - 1935
Lee Trevino - 1939
Richard Pryor - 1940
Bette Midler - 1945
Pablo Escobar - 1949
Nestor Carbonell (Lost's Richard Alpert!!) - 1967
Emily Mortimer - 1971
Laura Ling: (imprisoned Korean-American journalist and winner of DJ's first annual "People Who Were Asking For It Award") - 1976
Jared Fogle (the [formerly fat] nerd who promotes Subway) - 1977
Thursday, November 26, 2009
my favorite things jesse palmer said during the texas game tonight
- The Aggies are really sucking face tonight.
That's it...but it was really funny.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
More pearls from BT
About the MHMR group that sits next to us at the football game, after telling us they sang the Star Spangled Banner wrong:
- "It's not good to make fun of them though."
- Is computer science in college cool or gay?
- How much moolah can you make 'cause I wanna pull in some bitches.
- I jus wat ever I do pays cause Scarface said that's for you get the babes. [sic]
- Flores says wat it do. [sic]
Thursday, November 19, 2009
most shocking thing I read today
{Honest Mother}Okay, so the plumber is here (remember post from Tuesday) and says that there is nothing wrong with the toilet. It is the size of the bm that is going down... So, how does one tell a teenage girl that her poop is too big and that she has to do a courtesy flush before she wipes so the two don't go down at the same time??? There must be a tactful way of handling this, right???
S***H*** likes this.Wednesday, November 18, 2009
cheeks
Yesterday I got my haircut. I was mesmerized by the size of my cheeks in the mirror. They are forming large semi-circles from below my ears to my chin.
In honor of my cheeks, here are some things I ate today.
* cornbread
* buffalo wings
* chips and artichoke dip
* pulled pork sandwich
* sweet potato fries
* Hershey kisses
* cashews (several fistfuls)
* chili cheese dog
Also this weekend I was at mom and dad's. That included many cookies, lots of cake, Dr. Pepper, and fried steak and chicken. Unfortunately no manicotti. Thanks, Derek.
In honor of my cheeks, here are some things I ate today.
* cornbread
* buffalo wings
* chips and artichoke dip
* pulled pork sandwich
* sweet potato fries
* Hershey kisses
* cashews (several fistfuls)
* chili cheese dog
Also this weekend I was at mom and dad's. That included many cookies, lots of cake, Dr. Pepper, and fried steak and chicken. Unfortunately no manicotti. Thanks, Derek.
TV shows I totally meant to watch every episode of (or more than 2) but didn't
*Sports Night
*Battlestar Galactica (new - I saw all the old ones)
*Nurse Jackie
*Bored to Death
*The Good Wife
*Flashforward
*Weeds
*Dirty Sexy Money
*True Blood
*Central Park West
*Battlestar Galactica (new - I saw all the old ones)
*Nurse Jackie
*Bored to Death
*The Good Wife
*Flashforward
*Weeds
*Dirty Sexy Money
*True Blood
*Central Park West
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Brilliant signs at the Rockets game
A group of people (geniuses) made some signs to taunt the players of the Grizzlies during warm-ups. These people were all standing in a row shoving these toward the players faces on the court. The Grizzlies line-up:
- Rudy Gay
- Marcus Williams
- Zack Randolph
- O.J. Mayo
- Marc Gasol
- and Allen Iverson recently quit the team.
- Rudy Gay (written in a crude sketch of something resembling a tube of toothpaste)
- Marcus Will.I.Am.Not
- Zack Randoff (*off* was underlined)
- O.J. Hold the Mayo
- Marc out of Gasol (*gas* was underlined)
- Allen I've Given Up Erson
Monday, November 2, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
PJenks(ins) & Devs(ich) Dive(ish) Bar Tour of Austin
If all goes as planned, tonight will be the (first Annual???) PJenks(ins) and Devs(ich) Dive(ish) Bar Tour of Austin.
I thought up the route of the PJDDBTA on my trip down. The intended destinations:
Thoughts? Omissions?
I thought up the route of the PJDDBTA on my trip down. The intended destinations:
- Lala's Little Nugget
- Poodle Dog Lounge
- Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon
- Deep Eddy Cabaret
- Donn's Depot Piano Bar & Saloon
- Mean Eyed Cat
- Tiniest Bar in Texas
Thoughts? Omissions?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
BT's words of wisdom
1. Re: our possible future consumption of funnel cakes.
2. Re: what went wrong with the overthrown pass to him in the endzone the night before.
3. Re: the 17-year old kid that got killed in a car accident the first night of Czhilispiel.
- "Oh, make sure you get it with the white powder. It's so good."
2. Re: what went wrong with the overthrown pass to him in the endzone the night before.
- "No point thinking like that. Unless you got a time machine."
3. Re: the 17-year old kid that got killed in a car accident the first night of Czhilispiel.
- "I hope that's the only death this weekend."
Friday, October 23, 2009
TV shows I am watching this season without the use of a TV
- The Office
- Parks and Recreation
- Community
- 30 Rock
- Castle
- Lie to Me
- Dexter
- It's Always Sunny
- The Mentalist
- Dollhouse
- Monk
- Psych
- The Daily Show
Headlines of the Day
As requested by P.Jenkins himself... (who remains locked out of List Anything at the office)
#1 Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand
#2 Navarrette: 'Wild Things' is scary, but so is life
#3 Airliner overshoots airport; controllers feared hijacking
#1 Ice skating bear kills Russian circus hand
#2 Navarrette: 'Wild Things' is scary, but so is life
#3 Airliner overshoots airport; controllers feared hijacking
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Celebrity (and "Celebrity") Mensa Members
According to The Daily Beast (I can't remember how I came across it).
Geena Davis
Joyce Carol Oates
Norman Schwarzkopf
Quentin Tarantino
James Woods
Steve Martin
Sharon Stone
Oscar Wrigley (some 2 1/2 year-old Brit)
Asia Carrera (porn star)
Geena Davis
Joyce Carol Oates
Norman Schwarzkopf
Quentin Tarantino
James Woods
Steve Martin
Sharon Stone
Oscar Wrigley (some 2 1/2 year-old Brit)
Asia Carrera (porn star)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Random Thoughts Whilst Watching Paranormal Activity
1. There is only one demonologist in the San Diego/Los Angeles area.
2. Monty Python kudos in movies are still awesome. Those that get the joke, even more so.
3. 1 grunt for yes, 2 for no, 3 for 'What's your favorite Sandra Bullock film'?
4. High-end cameras only cost half a work day's money.
5. It freezes outside in San Diego October's.
6. Change pants.
7. Never go to a movie theater again.
2. Monty Python kudos in movies are still awesome. Those that get the joke, even more so.
3. 1 grunt for yes, 2 for no, 3 for 'What's your favorite Sandra Bullock film'?
4. High-end cameras only cost half a work day's money.
5. It freezes outside in San Diego October's.
6. Change pants.
7. Never go to a movie theater again.
Songs That Made Me Happy At Lunch
I had to run a few errands at lunch, but the radio made it kind of nice. For once.
In order of how I heard them, not of how happy they made me...
In order of how I heard them, not of how happy they made me...
- Neon Moon - Brooks and Dunn
- Tear-Stained Eye - Son Volt
- Hey Now Now - Michael Franti and Spearhead
- Loser - Beck
- Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
Friday, October 16, 2009
Things that made me happy today
- Derek's post, particularly the Neko Case, Deer Tick, and Fanfarlo part
- Aimee's response to Derek's post indicating she might be visiting
- Speaking of Fanfarlo, the fact that I can not get sick of that album and listened to it three times tonight while working
- DJ's email earlier inviting me to "An Evening With David Sedaris" --- the "an evening with" part cracks me up
- This sandwich I am eating right now.
- The pest control lady that told me, when I used the word *disaster* to describe this house that I bought and its second(!) infestation of termites, told me to "think positively" and that I was "being smart" by calling.
- The phone call from the auditor this morning that confirmed my most recent project was a success.
- I got all my billing done.
- Party planning emails with Derek and Thomas for the MP!FP! this weekend.
- That Madeline Kahn video. I have probably watched it 200 times. And counting.
- This website: http://www.halfbakery.com/editorial/help.html
- The fact that it is after midnight and I just got home from work and realized that Survivor came on tonight! Going to watch some deevs now.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Shows I want to see coming up in Houston
(although I probably won't see half of them)
- Oct. 16 - Michelle Shocked at Warehouse Live
- Oct. 23 - Built to Spill at Warehouse Live
- Oct. 26 - Port O'Brien at Rudyard's
- Oct. 27 - Blind Pilot and The Low Anthem at House of Blues
- Oct. 28 - Ezra Furman and the Harpoons at Rudyard's
- Oct. 30 - Mute Math at Warehouse Live
- Nov. 4 - Mimicking Birds at The Mink
- Nov. 12 - Elvis Perkins in Dearland at Walter's
- Nov. 13 - Swell Season at Warehouse Live
- Nov. 22 - Neko Case and Deer Tick at Warehouse Live
- Nov. 30 - Metric at Warehouse Live
- Dec. 4 - Fanfarlo at Walter's
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Search Terms 2
A new list of search terms that have brought people to List Anything, only to bounce away....
- "female tv characters" + "alcoholic"
- 2 english words mean exact opposite food
- basic instinct 2 sex scene
- best robert earl keen songs
- cheater combat arms
- community jeff winger sweater
- craigslist for female halloween costumes
- dereklm
- duda paine architects
- facebook statuses that are true
- films with female alcoholic characters
- gary sinise csi toupee
- good topics for status updates
- great movies that got terrible reviews
- "hosiery is not required"
- jamie foxx collarless shirt
- "jean kincaid" + hair
- jenny lewis teacher houston
- kathryn merteuil bad guy
- list of dance competition movies
- list of dream jobs for men
- list of topics people like on facebook
- list of true and false
- list of words that mean dangerous
- most cammented facebook song statuses
- most disturbing news stories
- noncomprehensive high school
- pixies pop
- scary jokers
- scary things that have happened on friday the thirteenth
- site:blogspot.com requiem for a dream sex scene
- soap box movies list based on olympics
- the dark knight and pop culture
- todays most funny status update
- what famous people were born on july 30th, 2009
- what king of jacket larry david sport coats
- what should my status update be today?
- who made the boots worn by catherine zeta-jones in no reservations?
- worst people born on july
- youtube mississippi dream saxophon greg wonder alias bud spencer
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
17 Movies I am Going to Watch in October...
- Blackmail
- Champagne
- Easy Virtue
- The Farmer's Wife
- Jamaica Inn
- Juno and the Paycock
- The Lodger
- The Man Who Knew Too Much(1934)
- The Manxman
- Number Seventeen
- Rich and Strange
- The Ring (1927)
- Sabotage
- Secret Agent
- The Skin Game
- The Thirty-nine Steps
- Young and Innocent
places I have fallen asleep in the past week
- meeting
- conference
- desk
- cab (backseat)
- Angela's car (backseat)
- my car (driver's seat, at stoplight)
- couch
- bar
- airplane
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Reasons Why I Thought Yesterday That I Might Have Asperger's Syndrome
Really just one reason. This article I read in Psychology Today for some reason. But here’s a list of symptoms I read about in that article that made me self-diagnose.
- Would rather stay home and work jigsaw puzzle than dress up for a night out
- Trouble with spatial orientation and direction
- Can imitate or fake way through social situations
- Wry sense of humor
- Cool demeanor
- A little too thorough at times
- Never had a lot of friends but usually has few close friends
- Likes puzzles and logic
- When watching movie/tv, has to turn volume way up to hear dialogue but way down when there is background noise
- Most comfortable being alone
- Not lonely very often (and then usually just wishes to be with certain person or people)
- Maintaining eye contact is a challenge
- Not a hugger
Symptoms I do not have:
- Series of obsessions
- Difficulty changing directions or actions at musical cues (in other words - can’t dance)
- Animal lover
- Only brutal violence can generate emotional reaction
- Being a boy
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Search Terms
Thought you all might find this interesting. Here is a list of some search terms that have brought people to this blog:
- reasons why I hate you
- a-z of dance films
- scary things list
- most popular facebook statuses
- "rarely wants to do it" dennis
- +"dress code" +"high school" +pro +con
- 10 great movies that received terrible reviews
- alcoholic tv characters
- alias of suzanne sugarbaker
- craigs list alexandria la vw jetta cars for sale
- gene hackman hates canada
- good topics for status updates
- how can i find list of anything
- list,of,dance,movies
- liz lemon dennis duffy list
- most played songs kgsr
- pfeiffer landstuhl restaurant
- professor arthur fleeber
- sunglasses worn by jean reno
- susan sarandon pure country george strait
- three is company scenes mr and mrs roper youtube
- tim roth new braunfels
- tucciadicapri
- waco valley mills drive wreck august 26, 2009
- woman w4m port charlotte
- words to describe yourself interview
- xanax(dizziness||drowsiness||inaudible speech).blogspot.com
- zellweger
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Greatest Movies In Which Musicians Play An Exaggerated Version of Themselves
Inspired by the most craptacular flick I've seen in some time, I thought it might be fun to take a look back at some of the other completely idiotic movies based at least in part on a popular musician’s persona. Here’s what I came up with:
7. Yellow Submarine – Sorry Beatles fans, but unless you’re a high school student, zonked out of your head on mushrooms, within the approximately ten-minute window of time during which your naive little mind could possibly think a story about “Blue Meanies in Pepperland” is worth two hours of your attention, this movie totally blows.
6. Every Gangsta Rap Movie Ever Made That Isn’t 8 Mile (see intro above) – With the surprising exception of the Eminem biopic, pretty much every movie about a young rapper on the streets is just an incoherent collection of pointless violence, a love interest who’s way hotter than anyone you’d ever find in the real projects, and a sh*tty soundtrack consisting of a bunch of tracks that weren’t good enough to make it onto the album that made the person famous to begin with. And Hype Williams probably directed it.
5. Moonwalker – This really should have been the world’s first clue that Michael Jackson was totally f*cking nuts and had no business being around children. A bizarre combination of live performance footage, video b-sides and a mind-explodingly insane short film in which Jackson battles Joe Pesci, who is an evil drug dealer with a strange interest in children, by turning himself into some kind of giant dancing robot who gets his power from shooting stars. The funny thing is, in retrospect, this movie is probably one of the less insane things about Michael Jackson’s life.
4. Spice World – This self-reflexive genre-bending look into the life of the international pop phenomenon is the 8 1/2 of movies about retarded girl groups. You should all watch it.
3. Pure Country – George Strait basically plays himself, and sets out on a journey to find out what country music is all about, but fails to get arrested, spend any time in jail, take drugs or kill a man with his bare hands, so he just goes back to being the crooning puss-wad he was to begin with. The end.
2. Glitter – So Mariah Carey plays this mentally-handicapped woman with epilepsy who wants to be a star and she’s shiny and there’s some romance and blah blah blah. Let’s be honest, I’ve never seen this movie and I’ve never will. This is just what I’m guessing from the looks of the poster.
1. Cool As Ice – Vanilla Ice plays “Johnny”, a badass rapper dude on a motorcycle who comes to this small town and meets this hot-but-dorky chick who’s dad is on the run from the mob or whatever. Actually contains the line, “I’m just…coolin’” which alone is worth the price of picking this bad boy out of your nearest bargain bin. In all seriousness, this is a classic.
Honorable Mentions: Purple Rain, Crossroads
7. Yellow Submarine – Sorry Beatles fans, but unless you’re a high school student, zonked out of your head on mushrooms, within the approximately ten-minute window of time during which your naive little mind could possibly think a story about “Blue Meanies in Pepperland” is worth two hours of your attention, this movie totally blows.
6. Every Gangsta Rap Movie Ever Made That Isn’t 8 Mile (see intro above) – With the surprising exception of the Eminem biopic, pretty much every movie about a young rapper on the streets is just an incoherent collection of pointless violence, a love interest who’s way hotter than anyone you’d ever find in the real projects, and a sh*tty soundtrack consisting of a bunch of tracks that weren’t good enough to make it onto the album that made the person famous to begin with. And Hype Williams probably directed it.
5. Moonwalker – This really should have been the world’s first clue that Michael Jackson was totally f*cking nuts and had no business being around children. A bizarre combination of live performance footage, video b-sides and a mind-explodingly insane short film in which Jackson battles Joe Pesci, who is an evil drug dealer with a strange interest in children, by turning himself into some kind of giant dancing robot who gets his power from shooting stars. The funny thing is, in retrospect, this movie is probably one of the less insane things about Michael Jackson’s life.
4. Spice World – This self-reflexive genre-bending look into the life of the international pop phenomenon is the 8 1/2 of movies about retarded girl groups. You should all watch it.
3. Pure Country – George Strait basically plays himself, and sets out on a journey to find out what country music is all about, but fails to get arrested, spend any time in jail, take drugs or kill a man with his bare hands, so he just goes back to being the crooning puss-wad he was to begin with. The end.
2. Glitter – So Mariah Carey plays this mentally-handicapped woman with epilepsy who wants to be a star and she’s shiny and there’s some romance and blah blah blah. Let’s be honest, I’ve never seen this movie and I’ve never will. This is just what I’m guessing from the looks of the poster.
1. Cool As Ice – Vanilla Ice plays “Johnny”, a badass rapper dude on a motorcycle who comes to this small town and meets this hot-but-dorky chick who’s dad is on the run from the mob or whatever. Actually contains the line, “I’m just…coolin’” which alone is worth the price of picking this bad boy out of your nearest bargain bin. In all seriousness, this is a classic.
Honorable Mentions: Purple Rain, Crossroads
Things You Probably Didn't Know About: 12 Rounds
- It is a movie.
- It made 12 million dollars in the US box office.
- It stars wrestling sensation (I guess) John Cena and was produced by the WWE.
- John Cena plays a cop -- you know, just a regular guy --who gets called in to help the FBI who is tracking down a man who can only be described as an amalgam of every bad guy in every movie ever made.
- The villain is really really smart. We know this because in the opening scene as the FBI is watching him, he walks past two strangers playing chess and quickly tells them what they're doing wrong. Only a really really smart person would be able to do that.
- The opening scene unfolds and the villain is about to get away when Cena foils his plan and kills the woman he loves (because as we all know, insane people can love too).
- A year later, Cena has been promoted to detective (along with his partner for some reason even though his partner did absolutely nothing to deserve it).
- Cena's girlfriend heads off to work and his cell phone rings. You guessed it! It's the villain! He starts out with some small talk and then reveals that he's out of prison and that they're going to play a game.
- Cena's house blows up and then he realizes that the villain has his girlfriend.
- And then Die Hard With a Vengeance begins. Just kidding. But not really. So the villain has Cena and his partner go to where the movie began and they see writing on a wall. Numbers. Cena takes a good minute to figure out that they're coordinates. His partner is baffled. "Where did you learn about that stuff?" (*that stuff = coordinates). Cena replies "Eighth grade Geography." The first real bit of dialogue in the entire movie.
- Then, all of a sudden, we learn that Cena has a brother who is a firefighter. And then a fire occurs and "round 3" begins in which Cena has to go into the fire and get out some safety deposit boxes.
- The FBI agents from the beginning show up to let the audience know that they're really bad guys.
- This was about 38 minutes into the movie and about the time that I stopped watching the movie and read a book.
- However, if anyone would like to know what happens in the following 9 rounds, please feel free to email me and I'll give you my best guess.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Jubal's Favorite Co-Worker
Here is how Jubal described this woman we work with that drives him crazy, because she is demanding, but also because she is incredibly soft-spoken.
He called me tonight to bitch about her and in the course of the 5 minute conversation, he said the following things:
* Sounded like I was talking to Tinkerbell.
* Like one big powdercake.
* I mean, Blaine, it sounded like I was talking to a butterfly landing on a pillow.
Do I need to tell you thick his Mississippi accent is?
(This list also titled: Best thing happened to me today.)
He called me tonight to bitch about her and in the course of the 5 minute conversation, he said the following things:
* Sounded like I was talking to Tinkerbell.
* Like one big powdercake.
* I mean, Blaine, it sounded like I was talking to a butterfly landing on a pillow.
Do I need to tell you thick his Mississippi accent is?
(This list also titled: Best thing happened to me today.)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Recap of my Oklahoma trip
For those of you who were not able to keep up with my Liveblogging from Oklahoma City: The FTA Motor Fuel Tax Section Annual Meeting Experience, allow me to list for you the various venues I enjoyed during my four day trip:
Enjoy all this and more in Bricktown!!! http://www.bricktownokc.com/
(be sure to turn your volume way up!)
- Abuelo's - (Sunday dinner) I had fried chicken stuffed with chorizo. Gross but pretty tasty.
- Aria Grill and Lounge (aka bar at the Sheraton) - (Monday after dinner drinks, solo). Miller Lites to help me finish writing the 25 lies I started on the plane.
- Bricktown Brewery - (Monday lunch) Fried okra! Appropriately crispy. (Turn your volume up for the website.)
- Bourbon Street Cafe - (Monday cocktail hour) Bud light and fried shrimp. Authentic! It felt in there just like this website sounds. DJ would have HEARTED it.
- Toby Keith's I [HEART] This Bar & Grill - (Monday dinner) Chicken & mashed potatos. Surprisingly good. And don't let the website fool you, the sign on the restaurant is a HEART.
- Coyote Ugly - (Monday nightlife) - See Facebook. I can't do it again. But I swear to you that bitch FELL.OFF.THE.BAR.
- Aria Grill and Lounge (aka bar at the Sheraton) - (Monday post-nightlife, solo) - Miller Lites to unwind. Yeesh.
- Spaghetti Western - (Tuesday lunch) Penne to avoid going to Hooters with the other group. Still at themepark restaurant but less offensive.
- Rocky's Special Events Center - (Tuesday cocktail hour, dinner, and party) Western themed, complete with cowboy hats and boots and .... wedding music? (see Facebook for my comments and Austen's previous list of wedding songs to understand the type of music played at this "country/western" affair.) Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I was forced by a DJ named Shane and a Fuel Tax Administrator named Cindy to participate in a line dance, called something "Cha-Cha." True story. (Humbly I add: I was complimented by at least 2 different lady tax accountants on my moves.)
- Skky Bar 4th Floor Ultra Lounge - (Tuesday nightlife) It was pretty much what you would imagine a place called SB4FUL to be. Except. There were these two kids there who were breakdancing, and they were awesome. I hated the Skky Bar but I would have stayed for hours to watch them. (Make sure your volume is up for the website.)
- Coyote Ugly, part 2 - (Tuesday nightlife, part 2) More Miller Lite for me. Perhaps a shot or two forced upon me throughout the night. But a much tamer evening than the night before. Except for the people making out. *shivers*
- IHOP - (Tuesday after-nightlife dinner) Sirloin Tips and Eggs. Delicious. I am so excited to like mushrooms these days.
- McDonald's - (Wednesday lunch) I couldn't find a Chick-Fil-A.
Enjoy all this and more in Bricktown!!! http://www.bricktownokc.com/
(be sure to turn your volume way up!)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Some Reasons Why You Should Complete "25 Random Lies" on Facebook
1. Because you are funny, and the facebook world needs to know it.
2. I am trying to start a thing here. My world is very small, but if I create a little viral note on Facebook, I will be fulfilled.
3. You are self-aware and only self-aware people will get it at first.
4. But you know people who aren't self-aware and you need to do it so that they will do it. Let's be honest, its the un-self awares who keep FB going.
5. Because it is a fun and new way to be passive-aggressive.
2. I am trying to start a thing here. My world is very small, but if I create a little viral note on Facebook, I will be fulfilled.
3. You are self-aware and only self-aware people will get it at first.
4. But you know people who aren't self-aware and you need to do it so that they will do it. Let's be honest, its the un-self awares who keep FB going.
5. Because it is a fun and new way to be passive-aggressive.
The Cast of My Dreams (aka TV Characters I'm Loving Right Now)
Rachel Berry, Glee (Lea Michele)
Jeff Winger, Community (Joel McHale)
Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Charlie Day)
Tom Haverford, Parks and Recreation (Aziz Ansari)
Casey Cartwright, Greek (Spencer Grammer)
Jeff Winger, Community (Joel McHale)
Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Charlie Day)
Tom Haverford, Parks and Recreation (Aziz Ansari)
Casey Cartwright, Greek (Spencer Grammer)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My DVR List - Series I record
In my defense this is for 3 people that live in my house....and not all of these shows are in season right now and a few may have been cancelled.
- 30 Rock
- 90210
- Anthony Bordain: No Reservations
- Austin City Limits
- Bored to Death (HD)
- Bored to Death (Regular)
- Brothers and Sisters
- Community
- Curb Your Enthusiasm
- Eastbound & Down
- Entourage
- EPL Review Show
- Glee
- Gossip Girl
- Grey's Anatomy
- International Soccer
- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
- Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
- Mad Men
- My Boys
- Nurse Jackie
- One Tree Hill
- Parks and Recreation
- Premier League Review
- Privileged
- Project Runway
- Royal Pains
- Saturday Night Live
- The Hills
- The Office
- The Soup
- The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
- Top Chef
- Top Chef Masters
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Places I vomited after consuming half a Cold-eeze on an empty stomach
- On the tree across from the antique shop on Church St. and Dolores.
- On the next tree.
- On the tree after that.
Lesson learned.
Best Trivia Night Ever
I played bar trivia last night with some guys from work at the Flying Saucer. There is a bonus round question (which is like Final Jeopardy - you wager a certain amount of points (we wagered the max)). The bonus round question for which we wagered all our points was:
Name 7 of the Academy Award Best Actor winners from the 1990s (film released in the 90s, not the award date).
I started shaking uncontrollably.
The list:
1990: Jeremy Irons
1991: Anthony Hopkins
1992: Al Pacino
1993: Tom Hanks
1994: Tom Hanks
1995: Nicolas Cage
1996: Geoffrey Rush
1997: Jack Nicholson
1998: Roberto Benigni (sp?)
1999: Kevin Spacey
We lost anyway, but still.
Name 7 of the Academy Award Best Actor winners from the 1990s (film released in the 90s, not the award date).
I started shaking uncontrollably.
The list:
1990: Jeremy Irons
1991: Anthony Hopkins
1992: Al Pacino
1993: Tom Hanks
1994: Tom Hanks
1995: Nicolas Cage
1996: Geoffrey Rush
1997: Jack Nicholson
1998: Roberto Benigni (sp?)
1999: Kevin Spacey
We lost anyway, but still.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Ode to the Sax
While driving to work this morning I heard George Harrison's Got My Mind Set On You. I realized these things are awesome.
- The video to this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_niy2ZM5Jo - The saxophone solo in this song it is super-awesome
- Good news. I'm not the only person who thinks so. which is awesome.
http://imacomputa.org/sax/George%20Harrison%20-%20Got%20My%20Mind%20Set%20on%20You.mov - In fact, this person loves ALL sax solos from the 80's. What a great website.
http://imacomputa.org/sax/
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
CNN's Story Highlights (a list of lists)
I just noticed the feature of every article on CNN.com that gives you "Story Highlights" in 4 bullet points. I can't decide if I love or hate. I mean really how hard is it to read these one page stories anyway. However, they are pretty funny.
Teen tennis sensation didn't plan for long N.Y. stay
9 ways to celebrate on 9/9/09
Jon Gosselin on abuse, love and Dr. Phil
Web goes ntus for 'Crasher Squirrel'
Teen tennis sensation didn't plan for long N.Y. stay
- Melanie Oudin's coach says hotel only booked for 12 days
- Marriott Marquis was fully booked as Oudin moved into quarterfinals
- Teen moved next door to InterContinental hotel
- Oudin plays in quarterfinal match Wednesday evening
9 ways to celebrate on 9/9/09
- Vegas hotel offers to marry off 99 couples at 9:09 p.m. for -- what else -- $99.09
- Nine a key number in baseball
- Multiply any single digit by 9 and add the resulting digits, you get 9
- Last single-digit date for 92 years
Jon Gosselin on abuse, love and Dr. Phil
- I love girlfriend more than I did wife, Jon Gosselin says in a television interview
- The only therapy Kate Gosselin would agree to was with Dr. Phil, he says
- Jon and Kate Gosselin have been going through a bitter break-up
- The pair star in the reality TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8"
Web goes ntus for 'Crasher Squirrel'
- Couple had set up camera to take their photo with mountains as backdrop
- Squirrel pops up in front of camera, is snapped
- Photo appears all over the Web, will be in National Geographic
- On question of authenticity: "You can't make this stuff up," woman says
Friday, September 4, 2009
My Fall Schedule 2009: Saturdays
Sept. 5 - Austin; Wedding in San Antonio
Sept 12 - Mom & Dad in Houston
Sept 19 - Football game in Austin and travel to OKC for work on Sunday
Sept 26 - Football game in Austin
Oct 3 - ACL in Austin
Oct 10 - Football game in Austin
Oct 17 - TX/OU Watch Party & Celebratory (or Sorrow-Drowning) FlipCup Tournament
Oct 24 - Czhilispiel in Flatonia
Oct 31 - Halloween in Austin; Alana in town; Jon in town?; (Bachelor Party in LV)
Nov 7 - Football game in Austin; Wurstfest in New Braunfels; (Fun Fun Fun Fest)
Nov 14 - No plans!
Nov 21 - Wedding in Beaumont
Nov 28 - Thanksgiving Weekend in Blackjack
Dec 5 - Big XII Championship; PwC Prom (economy permitting)
Dec 12 - Birthday weekend and travel to Atlanta for work on Sunday
Dec 19 - Santa's Sleigh Ride Party
Dec 26 - Christmas in Blackjack
Jan 2 - New Year's in....Austin? Colorado? Ideas, anyone?
Sept 12 - Mom & Dad in Houston
Sept 19 - Football game in Austin and travel to OKC for work on Sunday
Sept 26 - Football game in Austin
Oct 3 - ACL in Austin
Oct 10 - Football game in Austin
Oct 17 - TX/OU Watch Party & Celebratory (or Sorrow-Drowning) FlipCup Tournament
Oct 24 - Czhilispiel in Flatonia
Oct 31 - Halloween in Austin; Alana in town; Jon in town?; (Bachelor Party in LV)
Nov 7 - Football game in Austin; Wurstfest in New Braunfels; (Fun Fun Fun Fest)
Nov 14 - No plans!
Nov 21 - Wedding in Beaumont
Nov 28 - Thanksgiving Weekend in Blackjack
Dec 5 - Big XII Championship; PwC Prom (economy permitting)
Dec 12 - Birthday weekend and travel to Atlanta for work on Sunday
Dec 19 - Santa's Sleigh Ride Party
Dec 26 - Christmas in Blackjack
Jan 2 - New Year's in....Austin? Colorado? Ideas, anyone?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Favorite (or Least Favorite) Things in Alexandria, LA
I guess this list should be titled 'Things in Alexandria, LA'
- Community Coffee
- Towels at the hotel that always smell like maple syrup
- The 'Sweet Shop' at the hotel where I can get ice cream 24 hrs
- LSU ringtones EVERYWHERE
- Fried bow tie pasta with spinach artichoke dip
- The short security line at the airport
- Finnegan's Wake (a bar)
- Always waiting 40 minutes to get your food
- The smell of creosote
- Buford T. Justice lookalikes
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J*** U***
[to the family member of the author of this status update: I hope you don't mind.....]