Maybe I Should Buy Tickets And Go Anyway?

Back in March, I bought 4 tickets to see Courtney Barnett tonight at Stubb's. Late last week I learned I had to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning, and for a while, I was still planning to go to the show. But this girl is TIRED. So when I got home from another work trip last night, I decided to sell my tickets (I only had Erica coming with me so far anyway, and I know she will secretly delight in canceled plans). Here is what happened that makes me question just who or what I am supposed to encounter at Stubb's tonight. Spoiler: I won't. I did sell the tickets--whether I will ever see the proceeds is another story.

• Created Seatgeek account
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Was informed that I could only upload original PDF tickets, not scanned paper copies
• Checked to make sure I was using original PDF tickets, which I was (duh)
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets x 4
• Decided to log in to ticket seller website to see if I could download higher quality original PDF tickets
• Found that there is no login link from ticket seller's website
• Searched for about 20 minutes to figure out a way to login to ticket seller's website via Stubb's
• Downloaded new original PDF tickets
• Prayed that 50 KB was vastly superior to 47 KB
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets x2
• Went to bed
• Got up
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Contacted support and was told to clear browser cache and try again, but if that didn't work, I would need to sell elsewhere
• Cleared browser cache
• Attempted to upload original PDF tickets
• Nope
• Decided to sell on Stubhub
• Attempted to create new account
• Was informed that I already had an account
• Reset password
• Successfully uploaded original PDF tickets!!
• Googled for a solution to their insistence that I enter different seat numbers even though the tickets were general admission
• Entered my credit card number, email address associated with paypal, mailing address, etc.
• Thought to myself: this account must be REALLY old if the last time I used it, I paid with a Mastercard
• Clicked on my Profile and saw that the account was linked to someone in Louisiana with a similar (but not identical) email address
• Got notice at my own email address that I sold two of the tickets, that I would be paid via paypal to my own email address (but not the email address I told them was associated with my paypal account)
• Logged into paypal and added other email address
• Contacted support and convinced Chanise M. in an online chat that I was telling the truth
• Was told, "this is certainly one for the history books!"
• Got notice at my own email address that I sold the other two tickets
• Felt remorse that I am not going and that the universe must really, really want me there

People, Places, and Things in High-Rise

SPOILER ALERT

Things Plugged Into the Generator

• Coffee pot
• Lamp (1)
• iPhones (2)

Airport Security Line

Happy Thanksgiving!

According to this article, the three most popular Google searches the day before Thanksgiving last year were:

• Ham shop
• Pie shop
• Liquor store

Culture I Consumed Halloween Weekend

Finished Where'd You Go, Bernadette, a book I put on my to-read list so long ago, I couldn't remember why it was there. Then I finished it and read that the author wrote for Arrested Development, among other shows. I really liked it. The story was good, and I kept wishing I was original enough to have those kinds of hilarious little (little in the best way) observations on life. I do NOT recommend the audiobook, as the actor reading it is horrible. It's as though she doesn't speak English but can pronounce the words perfectly phonetically, but with emphasis in all the wrong places. Kathleen Wilhoite, whom I recognized as Luke's crazy sister from Gilmore Girls, in case you're wondering. Also, it's a weird format for audio. You'll see.
 

Saw Salt N Peppa in concert. Excuse me--saw a "Salt N Peppa Experience," which I'm assuming came about because they have about 5 songs anyone would recognize so they pad the show by testing the audience's "old school hip hop" cred by asking us to sing along to such deep cuts as "Tricky" by Run DMC. It totally worked on me. Quite possibly* broke my ankle walking from dinner to the show.

 
Started watching Casual on Hulu. So weird and good. 

Started re-reading Where'd You Go, Bernadette. Wanted to process some things that I didn't quite understand the first time knowing what I know now. You know?

*I didn't break my ankle. 

It's more like I jammed it, like a jammed finger. Is that a thing?

Cocktails at Bourbon and Branch (San Francisco)

On your next trip to San Francisco I highly recommend making a reservation at Bourbon and Branch. Pat, Alison, and I went this weekend, and among the three of us we had the following cocktails:

• Heavy Artillery
• Crooked Smile
• Seersucker
• Holy Smokes
• Dead Ringer
• Frank Lloyd Wright
• Fourth Regiment
• Revolver 

T-Shirts I saw at the Faith No More concert

Pearl Jam
Jason
Faith No More (obvs)
Napalm Death
"Kill for Weed"
Megadeath
Melvins
Bolt Thrower
Guns N Roses
Nirvana
Dallas Cowboys
Les Claypool
Tool
Black Lips
Slayer
Batman
"Talk Shit Eat Shit" "
Dress Like a Target"
"Beer"
Superjoint
Los Fantomas
Van Halen
"Hail to the King Baby"
Jimi Hendrix
Pigface
Nine Inch Nails
Primus
Motorhead

Fancybaby

My friend's two-year-old daughter eats only the following:

• Potato chips
• Smoothies with ice cream
• Cornichons
• White beans
• Artichokes
• Olives
• Manchego cheese
• Black Forest ham
• Chipotle mayo
• Mom and Pops popsicles

Things Carried By Cyclists in Montreal

Hi, y'all. I have a bunch of draft lists on my phone that P.Jenks told me I should post to try to revive List Anything. I will start with this one from last fall. Montreal is a huge cycling city, and our first afternoon there, we sat sheltered from a light drizzle drinking wine at a sidewalk cafe, watching a parade of cyclists carrying such bulky things in baskets or their hands. The funniest one was actually a little girl's look of absolute terror as she rode along with her parents, but she had no cargo (she carried...fear?). Anyway.

• Flowers
• Baguette (of course!)
• Lumber
• A dog with a ball
• Trombone
• 24-pack of toilet paper (in lap)

July-December 2014 MVPs

With no particular criteria in mind, I present to you July-December's list of MVPs. 

Gents of the half-year
Richard Burton (The VIPs, The Taming of the Shrew)
Manolo Cardona (Undertow)
Keir Dullea (2001)
Chris Evans (Captain America, Winter Soldier, Snowpiercer, Sunshine)
Spencer Tracy (Fury, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner)

Ladies of the half-year
Anne Bancroft (The Graduate)
Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow)
Essie Davis (The Babadook)
Sylvia Sidney (Fury)
Vanessa Redgrave (Coriolanus)

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, Lists #7-12

Happy New Year!  Here's everything I watched since July 1, so 6 lists in one. Same deal as the others--chronological order of watching with a meaningless grade and not many comments because too many months and too many movies.

• Foreign Correspondent (1940) - B 
• Wings (1927) - A / I thought I'd get bored. I never did. 
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - A+
• Fury (1936) - A-
• Scarlet Street (1945) - B / Back-to-back Fritz Lang makes a good double feature.
• The Barefoot Contessa (1954) - C-
• Stop Making Sense (1986) - A
• Captain America (2011) - B 
• Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) - B+
• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) - C- / There is just no need for this. (And I would watch LOTR any day of the week.)
• Sin City (2005) -B- 
• Alice (1990) - C- 
• The V.I.P.s (1963) - C
• The Taming of the Shrew (1967) - B-
• High Moon (2014) - B- / Someone really should have produced/aired this as a series.
• Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - A / "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
• Zodiac (2007) - B+
• All That Jazz (1979) - A
• Closer (2004) - B+
• Bonnie and Clyde (1967) - A
• The Graduate (1967) - A
• In the Heat of the Night (1967) - A-
• Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) - B
• Doctor Doolittle (1967) - C
• Enough Said (2013) - B+
• Snowpiercer (2014) - A / More movies like this, please.
• September (1987) - B
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) - B-
• Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live Die Repeat) (2014) - A- / Or like this.
• Julia (1978) - D / What a disappointment. Gah.
• Another Woman (1988) - B+
• The Big Country (1958) - A-
• My Darling Clementine (1946) - A
• Sunshine (2007) - A-
• The Babadook (2014) - A- 
• The Goodbye Girl  (1978) - C
• Lantana (2001) - A-
• The Story of Louis Pasteur (1937) - A-
• Ida (2014) - A-
• Blue Ruin (2013) - B+
• Undertow (2013) - B+
• Ascension (2014) - D
• Undertow (2004) - B+
• Coriolanus (2011) - B+ 

Mother

Here are the reasons why my mother, who is 70 years old, is deciding AGAINST zip-lining on her upcoming anniversary vacation.

• She doesn't think she has the upper body strength to hold onto the zip line, and is positive that is the only thing keeping her from plummeting to her death.  She was GENUINELY surprised when I told her that I'm sure they have back ups to prevent that sort of thing.  Which makes it that much crazier that she was still considering it.
• She is terrified of heights. Which makes it that much crazier that she was still considering it.
• She watched documentaries about it and doesn't think it would be very fun.  Why would people have fun doing that? 

"My" Pinterest Boards

I got an email welcoming me (actually, someone named Derek Blanchard) to Pinterest.  Say hello to Derek. He looks awfully nice:

So far, Derek has created the following boards:

• "Halloween"
• Knives
• Guns
• Cars
• Love

Words

Words I Do Not Pronounce Consistently *

• Economic (eh and ee)
• Route (ow and oo)
• Caramel (car and care)

Words Some People Think It Is OK to Pronounce Either Way, But They're Wrong

• Mueller (miller always, never myoo-ler**)
• Lawyer (law-yer, not loyer)
• Pecan (pick-ahn, obvs)
• Syrup (not sear-up)

Words I Cannot Pronounce

• Muir (as in Woods)

*VOTE!

**It makes me cringe that I even had to type that out. Actually, all of those but "loyer" are pretty awful.

June 2014 MVPs

I'm so late!  It's already time to do July's lists. Who cares? This place is a ghost town :-(

With no particular criteria in mind, I present to you June's list of monthly MVPs. 

Gents of the month
Cary Grant (Bringing Up Baby)
Van Heflin (The Feminine Touch)
Arthur Kennedy (Bend of the River)
Charles Korvin (Berlin Express)
James Mason (A Star Is Born)
 
Ladies of the month
Kay Francis (The Feminine Touch)
Judy Garland (A Star Is Born)
Katharine Hepburn (Bringing Up Baby)
Anna Magnani (The Rose Tattoo)
Ann Sothern (The Blue Gardenia)

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, List #6

I was on the road a lot in June, but I managed to get some movies in.  Here's my list -- chronological order of watching with a grade I gave it at the time and a comment or two about what I remember now.

• Toys in the Attic (1963) - C+ / You should know that I love Geraldine Page, and therefore this should be watched. But I think all you need to know about this movie is in this poster.
• Winchester '73 (1950) - B+ / I'm gonna watch all five of the Anthony Mann westerns with James Stewart. This is the first, and we're off to a good start. Rock Hudson's Young Bull is both a highlight and lowlight of this one. 
• Queen of Outer Space (1958) - A+? F-? Who cares?? / Oh, Zsa Zsa. You have to see this to believe it, especially in its restored beauty. 
• Bend in the River  (1952) - B- / The second of the Mann/Stewart westerns. Rock Hudson works better as a card shark.
• The Feminine Touch (1941) - C / I didn't think Rosalind Russell could be upstaged but both Kay Francis and Van Heflin managed to do it. 
• Bringing Up Baby  (1938) - A / Never gets old.
• A Star is Born  (1954) - A /  This is another one I always thought I would hate. And another that I got wrong, wrong, wrong. And I'm finally gaga for Judy Garland. All in.
• High Plains Drifter  (1973) - B / Somehow there is not one likeable character, but I liked it a lot anyway.
• Berlin Express  (1948) - C / I love the idea, but it doesn't quite work as well as I'd hope.
• The Blue Gardenia (1953) - B / Remind me to steer clear of Singapore Slings. This story is like watching one of my recurring nightmares play out.
• The Rose Tattoo  (1955) - B  / So much emotion! Sometimes it hits just right. Sometimes.... Crimson Tide.

Suzanne Sugarbaker's Morning Routine

I know y'all have heard me go on about how Designing Women isn't on tv at all while the far inferior Golden Girls can be seen 47 times a day. Well. LOGO to the rescue! A list from my Sunday marathon.

Charlene:  Good morning Suzanne.

Suzanne:  What's good about it? It's just another morning like yesterday morning and the morning before that...

• Take a bath 
• Do your nails
• Watch Wheel of Fortune
• Eat candy

Overheard at the Family Reunion, 2014

In chronological order


...and her voice is kind of annoying...
Oh, her voice is the FIRST thing that annoys you!

I'm not going to turn down a beer.

When you google stuff, are you actually googling it or safari-ing it?

Why not?
I've just never wanted to.
You should do it! Put it on your bucket list.
A bucket list is supposed to be shit you WANT to do.

Somebody called me to sell me something, so I started talking like Bobcat Gold-wait.

Terry's in jail?
Mmmhmmm. And that's probably why he's not on Facebook.

They've reopened the case. You know I kept that book all these years. I had it before anybody knew it was a book... Lori stole it.

[On a bet regarding his just-born daughter's weight with the doctor who had just delivered her] Well, Doc, you've kinda got an advantage. You're holding her. I'd have to hold her by the mouth over the side of a boat.

It goes for $400 an ounce.
[bat guano]

Hey, Julie. You wanna go fishing?

Old Leon W*****d's glasses didn't help, so he threw 'em away. One morning he got up in Houston to drive to Las Vegas. Said all he could see was the white line, so he followed that white line all the way to Vegas.

Now, listen to this shit (and I deserved it).

I love the smell of the woods. It's so...woodsy.

Nowadays people are defrauding their own self.

[Recitation of pi to the first 100 digits--he knows 547]

Movies I Have (almost) Watched Recently...

Unlike P. Jenks, I have lost all patience for movies.  Mostly it depends upon my mood but looking back at my netflix history I would say I'm in need of some Strattera or something..

Since May 9th...

• Bobcat Goldthwait: You Don't Look the Same Either - 4 minutes
• Full Tilt Boogie - 11 minutes
• The Pervert's Guide to Ideology - 29 minutes
• Stephen Fry in America - 9 minutes
• Company: A Musical Comedy - 39 minutes
• Best Worst Movie - 40 minutes
• The Hidden Hand: Alien Contact and the Government Cover-up - 2 minutes
• The Secret Village - 1 minute (no joke)
• Anatomy of a Murder - 160 minutes :)
• Machete Kills - 7 minutes
• Much Ado About Nothing - 9 minutes
• Evidence - 29 minutes
• Scarlet Street - 5 minutes
• False Witness - 4 minutes
• Call Northside 777 - 40 minutes (I do plan on finishing this one)
• Phantom - 4 minutes
• Hammett - 10 minutes
• Left Behind - 10 minutes

May 2014 MVPs

With no particular criteria in mind, I present to you May's list of monthly MVPs. 

Gents of the month
Robert Donat (Goodbye, Mr. Chips - 1939)
Jozef Kroner (The Shop on Main Street)
Fredric March (Executive Suite)
Christopher Walken (Pennies from Heaven)
Oskar Werner (The Spy Who Came in from the Cold)

Ladies of the month
Sara Allgood (How Green Was My Valley)
Judy Holliday (It Should Happen to You)*
Ida Kaminska (The Shop on Main Street)
Sian Phillips (Goodbye, Mr. Chips - 1969)
Vanessa Redgrave (Morgan!)

* I could watch the scene where she reads the cue cards every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it.

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, List #5

I did a little better in May. I'm continuing my list of movies I watched (from start to finish, no matter how boring). Same deal as before -- chronological order of watching with a grade I gave it at the time and a comment or two about what I remember now.

• Pennies from Heaven (1981) - B+ / I want to schedule a double feature of this and The Purple Rose of Cairo at a revival house.
• Marty (1955) - B / Never give up!
• The Spy Who Came in from the Cold (1965) - A- / I wish I had been in the theater with all the folks who had not yet read this book back in 1965.
• It Should Happen to You (1954)  - B- / The movie never lived up to the easy charm and cheery sentimentality of the first 10 minutes. If it had --> A+! My favorite character was the male department store employee. (No kiddin!)
• The Shop on Main Street (1965) - A+ / Worldwide horror plays out on the smallest of scales. Someone please find and buy me either or both of these posters.
• Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939) - B+ / There is no way you do not love Mr. Chips.
• Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1969) - C- / Unless it's this Mr. Chips which is Peter O'Toole for crying out loud but I just did not like this one. They should have made a different movie about Ursula!
• Judgment at Nuremberg (1961) - A / Life lesson: What would Judge Haywood do?
• Lilies of the Field (1963) - B+ / I had Jester Hairston's "Amen" stuck in my head for days. (And it's back.)
• Libeled Lady (1936) - B- /  It is incredible how much we have not only not changed as a culture but have just gotten so much worse.
• Now, Voyager (1942) C / I thought we were heading toward a Marty but in the end we got a Ms. Chips.
• Death on the Nile (1978) C- / I love this kind of shit but this was made like a TV movie with a lot of (amazing!) special guest stars. Oh well, time well spent for me but it is not very good.
• How Green Was My Valley (1941) A- / One thing I've learned watching all these classic movies: There are few things as evil as a gossipy old biddy.
• Morgan! (1966) B+ / Every character is simultaneously adorable and annoying. I am looking forward to watching it again and seeing which side sticks (I'm optimistic).
• Executive Suite (1954) B+ /  Watching now, it's easy to think of Mad Men with respect to both the plot (office politics) and the characters (especially the women).  Sidenote: I have found that Mad Men significantly informs my viewing of a lot of these films from the 50s and 60s, and vice versa. Anybody wanna watch some movies, get drunk, and talk about it?

Movie List: 1999

I'm posting a list of top 10 movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Cookie's Fortune
-----
2. Being John Malkovich
3. Dick
4. Election
5. Galaxy Quest
6. The Limey
7. Magnolia
8. Office Space
9. Ravenous
10. The Talented Mr. Ripley

Guilty pleasure: Deep Blue Sea

Movie List: 1998

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. The Thin Red Line
-----
2. The Big Lebowski
3. Elizabeth
4. The Faculty
5. The Last Days of Disco
6. Next Stop Wonderland
7. Out of Sight
8. Rushmore
9. A Simple Plan
10. The Spanish Prisoner

Guilty pleasure: The Man in the Iron Mask

Movie List: 1997

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. L.A. Confidential
-----
2. The Apostle
3. Bent
4. Gattaca
5. Hard Eight
6. Jackie Brown
7. Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
8. Starship Troopers
9. The Sweet Hereafter
10. Waiting for Guffman

Guilty pleasure: Addicted to Love

Movie List: 1996

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Flirting with Disaster
-----
2. Big Night
3. Citizen Ruth
4. Fargo
5. Lone Star
6. Mars Attacks!
7. Secrets and Lies
8. Small Faces
9. Trainspotting
10. Walking and Talking

Guilty pleasure: The Long Kiss Goodnight

Movie List: 1995

I'm posting a list of top 10 movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Leaving Las Vegas
-----
2. Before Sunrise
3. Dead Man Walking
4. Dolores Claiborne
5. Living in Oblivion
6. Muriel's Wedding
7. Richard III
8. Safe
9. Shallow Grave
10. To Die For

Guilty pleasure: Tommy Boy

Movie List: 1994

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Quiz Show
-----
2. The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
3. Barcelona
4. Bullets over Broadway
5. Ed Wood
6. Heavenly Creatures
7. Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
8. Nobody's Fool
9. Pulp Fiction
10. The Ref

Guilty pleasure: Wolf

Movie List: 1993

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and then one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Short Cuts
-----
2. The Age of Innocence
3. Dazed and Confused
4. Groundhog Day
5. King of the Hill
6. Manhattan Murder Mystery
7. A Perfect World
8. The Piano
9. The Remains of the Day
10. Schindler's List

Guilty pleasure: Heart and Souls

Movie List: 1992

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and then one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Howards End
-----
2. The Crying Game
3. Death Becomes Her
4. Glengarry Glen Ross
5. Husbands and Wives
6. The Last of the Mohicans
7. Passion Fish
8. Proof
9. A River Runs Through It
10. Unforgiven

Guilty pleasure: The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Movie List: 1991

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and then one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. Dogfight
-----
2. Barton Fink
3. Let Him Have It
4. Life Is Sweet
5. My Own Private Idaho
6. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
7. The Silence of the Lambs
8. Soapdish
9. Thelma and Louise
10. Truly Madly Deeply

Guilty pleasure: Frankie and Johnny

Movie List: 1990

I'm posting a list of top movies from each year in the 1990s: one favorite; and then 9 in alphabetical order; and one guilty pleasure, so to speak.

1. The Grifters
-----
2. Edward Scissorhands
3. The Freshman
4. Goodfellas
5. Metropolitan
6. Miller's Crossing
7. Postcards from the Edge
8. Quick Change
9. The Russia House
10. The Tall Guy

Guilty pleasure: Tremors

Who Am I on TV?

...according to some online quizzes, and Jon:

 

And......
Parks and Recreation - 80% Ben, 10% Leslie, 8% April, 2% Chris

Movies I Watched at Home in 2014, List #3 (March) and #4 (April) and MVPs

Prepare to be underwhelmed. All those movies I recorded in February are still in(?) my DVR. I watched one this weekend so at least I am finally making progress.March and April were all full of TV, work, and drinking. Here are my tiny little lists:

March

• Dallas Buyers Club (2013) C / <shrugs shoulders> 
• Captain Phillips (2013)  B+ / On the edge of my seat at the beginning, in tears at the end.
• Morning Glory (1933) C / Katharine Hepburn playing drunk playing Hamlet is aces. 
• Of Human Bondage (1934) C / As cruel as the novel (kudos, Bette Davis), but not nearly developed enough.

April

• Zilch!  I mean I watch movies every night but I didn't watch them with focus/intent as this list requires.  No wonder I'm in such a bad mood in May.  I will fix this. I'm going to watch a movie tonight.

MVPs
Once again, not much from the movies, but here's what I got, off the top of my head.

Ladies -

• Amanda Abbington - Sherlock*
• Hettienne Park - Hannibal*
• Laura Simpson - Oscar attendee**
• Mary Steenburgen - Justified
• Laura - Naked and Afraid

Gents -

• Charles Dance - Game of Thrones 
• Kevin Dunn - Veep
• Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. - Morning Glory
• Captain Hook - Once Upon a Time 
• Jacob Pitts - Justified*

*   Marathon viewing in March and/or April
** https://myspace.com/discover/editorial/2014/3/4/feature-i-went-to-the-oscars-with-my-best-friend-and-then-i-went-viral

Sandwich Ingredients

I ordered a sandwich from Which Wich today and ordered toppings that I like without regard to whether they would taste good together. You know how you order there by checking stuff off on the bags? It makes me wonder if the part of my brain that enables me to write is completely disconnected from the part that can synthesize or the part that knows what is gross. My (hot) sandwich:

• Turkey
• Wheat bread
• Pepper Jack cheese
• Pesto
• Caramelized onions
• Spinach

The only thing I considered but ruled out was jalapenos.

Gelato World Tour

Austin is the only North American stop on the Gelato World Tour, a competition held in cities all over the world. This list is amusing to me--I feel the same way seeing my town listed with other Formula One cities.

Rome, Italy
Valencia, Spain
Melbourne, Australia
Dubai, UAE
Austin, North America
Shanghai, China
Sao Paulo, Brazil
Berlin, Germany
Rimini, Italy - grand final

Celebrity Sightings

In no particular order--

Don Henley in Brookshire's
Michael Chiarello in his Napa kitchen store
Johnny Knoxville on the Drag
Mario Lopez in a NYC steakhouse
Chris Messina on 7th Street
Stephen Dorff in LA
James Earl Jones* in LA
Jim Cramer in a NOLA art gallery
Matthew McConaughey outside the Paramount
Lyle Lovett at Las Manitas
Dan Rather on a street
Willem Dafoe** in Italy
Jimmy Fallon on a 6th Street pay phone
Ryan Hansen at Lavaca
Connie Britton at Belmont
Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova at the Holiday Inn

*Probably not
**Definitely not (I was so sure but so wrong. And this was not just a glance, but this man and his wife were in seats FACING us for 2 hours on a train)

Happy Birthday Julie!!!

Things that Julie has introduced me to that will forever be a part of my life:

• Maker's Mark
• Veronica Mars
• The Decemberists
• Ice Skating*
• Choreography
• Aaron Sorkin**
• Arrested Development
• Country Music***
• Storytelling ****

* This will only forever be a part of my life in the sense that I will think of you every single time Ice Skating is mentioned or being done visually and hopefully especially when we get to watch together again. And by Ice Skating I think I may mean Ice Dancing?
** Specifically Studio 60 but I have gone on to enjoy his other endeavors very much.
***Merle Haggard, Hank Williams, Willie Nelson and especially George Jones.
****In the sense that nobody tells a story quite like Julie Fitch.  And I love you for it.

Ads That Are Driving Me Crazy These Days

5. KFC

This is insulting on so many levels.  I couldn't find the most offensive one which is a douche bag eating his KFC in the "office" and talking to the camera while he eats and has food orgasms.  It is, needless to say, a turn off.  But the thing I hate most about these commercials is the fact that everyone likes KFC.  It's delicious.  No argument.  But I'm not so much a fan of the people who eat KFC (or any fast food) and it seems as though this commercial is trying to make me friends with them.  Gross.
4. Disney

I have nothing against Disney.  At least, I didn't until I was forced to watch this commercial 45 times.  And it's not the fact that it's stupid and annoying and doesn't bring out my "disney side" in any way, shape, or form (and I'm pretty sure I have one).  No, it's the fact that 6 seconds in, a grown woman looks over to whom I can only assume is her father because she refers to him as "papa", and realizes that he is no longer in his seat.  Now, I don't know about you, but when I look over to find someone and they aren't there, my brain makes the conclusion that they aren't physically present and therefore cannot hear me.  But this woman doesn't believe her brain.  She isn't quite sure what's happening so just to double check she asks again.. "papa?" she asks, as though he is just invisible and might respond.  Come on, Disney.
3.Lumia Icon

I really just don't like that guy.
2.Anchorman 2


This movie is horrible.  Let me extrapolate (wrongly used word, I'm sure).  I loved Anchorman.  But there was a very specific reason.  They had no fucking idea what they were doing.  They even edited two versions of the movie for the dvd release because they didn't know what the hell they had.  And (for me, at least) it was hilarious.  And then people caught on and it made tons of money and they waited a long time until finally someone greenlit a sequel.  Bad idea.  So bad, in fact, that I went to the theater opening day to see said sequel and yes, it was horrible.  And now I see ads for the dvd release and it just twists the knife.
1. Hulu

This one specifically.  I watch most of my new shows on Hulu.  Hulu knows this.  They know this because I am using their website to watch Hannibal.  Then why, for the love of god, when I'm only into the fifth act of the current episode, do they insist on showing me a teaser for the next episode which reveals a MAJOR PLOT POINT that I have yet to reach on the current show I am watching???  Ugh.

p.s.  THIS is how you do it...

Day 5: Books I Have Read in 2014

a.k.a. Maybe 90 posts in 100 days is more likely (even that will be a miracle)
a.k.a. The 600th List Anything Post!!!

• Moonlight Mile (Dennis Lehane) - A sequel to Gone Girl Gone, very enjoyable but probably not meant for film.
• Monster (Sanyika Shakur) - Autobiography of an L.A. gang member.*
• A Million Ways to Die in the West (Seth McFarlane) - I don't know why but it made me laugh for two hours straight.
• The Fault in Our Stars - John Green - Sad.
• Cross and Burn (Val McDermid) - The latest in the Tony Hill series (a.k.a. wire in the blood)
• A Place of Execution (Val McDermid) - One of the best mysteries I have ever read.
• Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs (Chuck Klosterman) - A compilation of essays.  Funny.
• Cops (Mark Baker) - An inside look at being a cop. *
• The Poet (Michael Connelly)*
• Angels Flight (Michael Connelly)**
• 9 Dragons (Michael Connelly)**
• The Closers (Michael Connelly)**
• Echo Park (Michael Connelly)**
• The Narrows (Michael Connelly)**
• A Darkness More Than Night (Michael Connelly)**
• City of Bones (Michael Connelly)**
• The Brass Verdict (Michael Connelly)**
• The Black Box (Michael Connelly)**

*Research
**Research and also Harry Bosch novels

Day 4: Movies I Have Watched in 2014

• Mud (B) - The kids were endearing and it was nice to see Kendal Crowe (Justified) a bit younger.  MM was convincing and it had a nice supporting cast but I kept feeling like I should be crying and I wasn't.
• Inside Llewyn Davis (A) - Just about perfect. 
• The Counselor (C+) - You would think a movie written by Cormac McCarthy and directed by Ridley Scott would be a wet dream, alas it is not.  It is brutal and it stays with you for a while after you watch it (mostly because it's just fucked up) but overall it falls short.
• Catching Fire (D) - There was one good scene and it was at the end.
• Thor: The Dark World (D+) - There was one good scene and it was towards the end.
• The Fifth Estate (B-) - Worth seeing just for Sherlock's Australian accent.  Also, a good story.
• The Way Way Back (C) - I don't know about you but I'm pretty tired of movies with Steve Carell where he plays a serious role (or a non-serious role for that matter).  They're all the same! Little Miss Sunshine, Dan in Real Life, and now this dreck.  Sam Rockwell saved it but not by much.
• Ender's Game (B-) - I am twelve.
• Enough Said (A-) - A very pleasant movie that moves at a normal pace with real characters and good actors.
• Gaslight (A+) - I haven't watched this one in a very long time but it still stands up.  I watched it thinking how I would remake it (I have some good ideas) but it really should be left alone.
• Escape Plan (F) - I will never understand how scripts get made into movies like this.  It HAS to be a relative of someone.  
• Promised Land (B+) - Solid.  Real.  Funny.  
• Captain Phillips (B) - Good.  I guess.
• The Family (C) - Ugh, Luc Besson.  Seriously, stop making movies.
• Prisoners (C+) - I kept waiting for something to happen and even though I didn't "call" the ending, I kind of wish I had.  I would have liked it better.
• 2 Guns (C+) - Ten years ago I would have seen this movie opening day in the theater.  But they don't know how to make them any more.  And why was this ever a graphic novel?
• Columbus Circle (D) - Written by one of my favorite screenwriters ever (well, he wrote Midnight Run).  This was dumb and you see EVERYTHING before it happens.
• I Need That Record (B) - A pretty lame documentary about a wonderful subject.
• Vanilla Sky (A-) - I saw this in the theater and HATED IT and then just revisited it after reading an essay by Chuck Klosterman.  I gotta say, it's pretty damn good.  I don't understand why people were confused by it.  It's very clear in its narrative and even though a remake, a very good one.  
• Twilight (B+) - No, not the vampire movie (although given the list above I wouldn't put it past me).  This was a detective movie with Paul Newman, Gene Hackman and Susan Sarandon.  This was kind of the opposite of Vanilla Sky.  I saw this in the theater and LOVED it and now I don't know why.  I give it a B+ just because they don't make enough detective movies (ahem, I Drink Alone).
• Jesse Stone: Stone Cold (B) - For a 'made for tv' movie this was actually quite entertaining.  I started watching for research and found myself continuing...
• Jesse Stone: Night Passage (C+) - Although I am a bit tired of the 'alcoholic' cop...
• Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise (D) - ...and...I'm over it.

p.s. This not drinking thing is super hard.  But this 'list anything' thing is actually working.  So we'll see if I make it another night.

Day 3: Reasons I am Not 40 Years Old

1. I just read The Fault in Our Stars.  And cried.*
2. I cannot wait to see The Veronica Mars Movie.*
3. I drink berry flavored herbal tea *

*Also reasons I am not a man

Day 2: Coast to Coast

East Coast: Clam Chowder
Texas: Chicken Tortilla
West Coast: Anything with avocado

East Coast: Pop
Texas: Coke
West Coast: Californians don't drink soda

East Coast: French Dip
Texas: Queso
West Coast: Guacamole

East Coast: Grinder/ Hoagie
Texas: Sub/ Po Boy
West Coast: Whole grain sandwich

East Coast: Wicked Awesome
Texas: Niiice/ Alright, alright, alright
West Coast: Dude

East Coast: Cod/ Scrod
Texas: Bass/ Catfish
West Coast: Tuna (sushi grade only)

East Coast: Ketchup
Texas: Hot Sauce
West Coast: Guacamole/ Balsamic Vinaigrette

East Coast: Eye of Round
Texas: Ribeye
West Coast: Filet Mignon

*** I do not really know what I'm talking about but this was fun to come up with

Things I Have Finally Learned to Differentiate

Shallots
Scallions
Scallops


F. Murray Abraham
William F. Buckley
Warren Buffet

Day 1: Television I've Been Watching...

• The Blacklist - After the pilot I thought this would quickly become one of my favorite shows.  It does so well what many others have failed to do - it makes a villain the protagonist.  And Spader does not disappoint.  Unfortunately, everyone else in the cast DOES.  I honestly hope in every episode that the other cast members will get killed off one by one.  But they don't.  And that's why this show isn't very good.  I'm 16 episodes in so I might as well finish the season but don't bother.
• Orphan Black - Wow.  I watched the pilot a few months ago and wasn't that impressed.  Then I picked up it up again and, needless to say, it's amazing.  And she is the best actress ever.
• Hannibal - Season two is, so far, much better than season one.  Less Will and more Hannibal I say.  I just hope they eventually get back on track with the books.  Maybe I'm the only one but it's distracting considering I know how the story is supposed to go.
• The Following - If you do not watch the Following you are doing yourself a disservice.  It might be the worst show ever that I can't stop watching.  Nothing makes sense or even remotely has an inkling of believability.  But for some reason I cannot wait to see what happens next.  And you kind of, without knowing it, do a mystery science theater in your own mind as you watch.  Doubling entertaining.
• True Detective - Perfect.
• Justified - I swear this show gets better with every season.  I hope everyone is watching this.
• The Walking Dead - I gave up on this show after season two and then recently picked it up again.  It's not my favorite but it's pretty damn good.
• Crossing Lines - A ridiculous show that's entirely watchable.  I can picture the pitch right now..."it's just like every other crime show except it crosses borders."  
• Brooklyn 99 - I LOVE this show.  That is all.
• Chicago P.D. - I don't know why.
• The Mentalist - I have no idea what they are planning on doing with this show.  He already caught Red John.  But hey, when you've been with a show for seven seasons, might as well see it through.

90 Lists in 90 Days (introduction)

I am tired of being disgusting.  Since moving back home I have been eating well and exercising; lifting weights and swimming a few times a week, and yet I am the exact same weight I was when I arrived here.  Of course, I've been drinking almost every night.  So, I'm going to do a little experiment and since I have none of you physically here to support me, I'm going to give myself a little accountability via this blog.
I'm going to attempt to go sober for 90 days and every day I am going to post a list.  The lists will have nothing to do with my experiment, they will merely be proof to myself and others that I have lasted another day.  And at the end of the 90 days I will check back in with you all and share my results.
And now, just so this is an actual list...
Things I want to accomplish in the next 90 days

• lose weight (goal = 30 lbs)
• finish my novel
• finish a screenplay
• watch a lot of movies
• read a lot of books
• come up with some good, healthy recipes to share

If anyone wants to join me, feel free.  The more the merrier.  Jump in at any time.  But I really have to do this for my sanity and so I don't die.  If I fail (which is likely) I may attempt to start over but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it (in two days).
Wish me luck!

People I Met in Savannah

I have never been on such a sociable trip in all my life. And even the annoying-sounding people were highly entertaining. We always seemed to cut them loose just as they were crossing the line to annoying.

SATURDAY
6pm. Chad and Carl - There were tons of people walking around in these green tshirts and St. Patrick's Day regalia, and we didn't know why. Then we met two army guys who had been on a pub crawl that started at noon. They were probably 22 and thought we were incredible. They invited us over for a "jam session," but we said we didn't have time. Chad, who had to look up about six inches to see them, was really into my beautiful eyes. "We seem to be very popular here with guys in green shirts." - Ginny

11pm. Two sisters and their husbands. There was a band playing in a street that was only open to pedestrians, and--did I mention you can take your alcohol to go in this city?--we decided to sit on a bench and drink beer and watch people walk/dance by. A lot of other stuff happened, but the sister whose 30th birthday they were celebrating decided to twerk in my lap. Her husband tried to follow but was dragged away.

SUNDAY
We spent most of Sunday on a tour and shopping, but then we decided to stop by a bar to get a beer to drink in a nearby park.
5pm. Randy - he was a loud little fella and recommended some horrible sounding strip of bars in Orlando near Universal Studios from which he had recently been thrown out for taking off his shirt. "Why didn't you take me there?" - me, to Ginny.

Spotted at same place: an older lady ordering a megarita, a margarita the size of a fish bowl.

7pm. That lady and her husband (Alice and Kenny), in our hotel lobby drinking free wine and eating free cheese. We were trying to take our glasses up to our room, but they insisted that we sit down with them. They were about 60 and had been married for 27 years, not including the four-year period in which they were divorced. They met at a bar and their friends went home with each other. G: "So they had sex and you got married?" Alice: "Oh, I f***ed him that night." Kenny, amazed: "You don't know how rare that was back then." They were the loudest people I've ever met, and although I laughed non-stop for our hour together, we made the right call when we went our separate ways after declining Alice's offer to go smoke some weed in the parking lot while Kenny was on lookout.

Spotted at 10pm at a bar projecting the Oscars onto a courtyard wall: Alice and Kenny, from whom we hid, and this handsome guy seemingly declining the advances of two attractive women--one VERY aggressive and one a little softer.

Midnight-ish. That guy, Matt, in our hotel lobby, all three of us disappointed that the bar had closed. We headed out together to find a new bar and became fast friends. Some better friends than others.

12:30-ish. David, a cute British guy traveling up the eastern US. He quickly became one of our little group of friends. Some better friends than others.

MONDAY
Shockingly, not one member of Band of Horses.