Thursday, May 14, 2009

Reasons Why I Love You (aka this is what happens when you go 60 days without drinking and then find out that the woman you love never loved you)

Julie - You can be such a pain in the ass but I love you because we can talk forever. I could hang out with you during a tornado and have a good time. You can always make me laugh and you laugh at my stupid jokes even when I know it wasn't funny. Of course, you'll qualify it by telling me it wasn't funny. Most importantly, you have truly exquisite taste in all things art and have no idea how smart you really are. But when it comes to watching T.V. on DVD, I could die doing that with you and several bottles of red wine. No, really...several. And you were there for me when I needed you most. I actually do love you with all of my heart.
Blaine - Women are never a competition with us. J.K. Seriously, you are the smartest person in the room at all times but are so humble yet conceited at the same time that you somehow make this amalgamated monster that I both love and love. I don't think I've ever known someone who wants to be in a relationship with someone half as good as they are who deserves it. That was a tough sentence to get through, I know. You, I think, are the only person who thinks I'm as funny as I think I am and also, the funniest person in any room I'm not standing in.
Derek - You have an "asshole" facade but you're really the nicest person I know. And that's saying a lot. As much as I know I could ask any of my friends for anything, you, I feel, would be the one to really come through no matter what I asked of you. You also censor yourself too much because you're so self-conscious about how funny you are at all times. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Also, you have always been there for my horrible relationships and, more importantly, have always been right. You know I'll never listen to you, but I'll always concede. Always. But probably most importantly, I love that you and I will always split the tab. I remember our discussions about people and money fondly. Very fondly. It makes me laugh.
Austen - Oh I miss drinking with you. When you call me or text me, even though it's usually because Karen is coming into town and you just want someone to kill the time with until she gets here, I always appreciate it. More importantly, we have always had this weird relationship where during almost every single bar-outing, we have at least one real, serious discussion about either life, love or politics. I miss you a lot. And although this is something you probably don't want everyone on our "blog site" to know, the fact that you loaned me 100 dollars for no reason, tells me everything I'll ever need to know about how much you care about me. I'm going to pay that back ten fold by the way.
Ragan - You have the biggest facade of all. You're tough - no denying. But once in a while, usually when alcohol is involved, you come across as a caring, smart, funny, vulnerable human being and when you do, you make me wish we were better friends. I will always think of you as one of my best friends even though you'll probably go to your grave denying it. But I know you love me. And I will never forget that I slapped a microphone out of my face and made an enemy of you. Oh, if I had a time machine. And I wish I could play touch screen trivia with you right now! ( I love yelling at you when you when you miss "sports" questions).
Karen - I smile when I type your name. You know why? Because I HATED you when I first met you. What's funny is, you have since become one of my favorite people ever. And, surprisingly, it has nothing to do with Austen. You just have this way about you that I love. I love that you are a total bitch to everyone you meet for the first time (even if it's my current girlfriend). I always tell them "that's how she was when I first met her" and I'm not lying. But if I live by a code, it is the "Karen" code. And that is, nobody is good enough to be inside my circle until I declare they're good enough. You also have a fantastic smile and are just a beautiful person, inside and out.
Candice - For starters, you and I have a great "how we met story" even for friends. In fact, it's so great, I don't even know if YOU know it. We met during one of the float trips. And you told Derek that you thought I was going to kiss you. And that made ME think that Derek was mad at me. And this is making ZERO sense for everyone except me, you and Derek. But that's ok. It was worth it. You certainly made Claudine feel at home and, now that I think about it, besides being Derek's wife and, eventually, the mother of his children, I think you were put on this earth to be my current girlfriend's foray into the world of my friends. That was a long sentence but it's true. Also, there's nobody I would rather have shots with. Especially fruity shots. Oh, and discuss popular music with. And kudos to Derek. You're hot.
D.J. - First of all, your first name is my middle name. Bet you didn't know that. Secondly, what's it like to be the kind of person that EVERYBODY LIKES? Seriously, have you ever known someone to NOT like you? You are, simply, the most likable person on the planet. You are funny, smart and modest. And incredibly handsome. Why not? You, much like Ragan , probably have no idea how highly I think of you. Well, the answer is very. Like, 9.9 out of 10. I would be more sad if something happened to you than if my sister died. What? Well, I really just wanted to see if you were paying attention dear reader. But I really love D.J. And he has a super nice apartment and girlfriend (see how I slipped SUSAN into my "Why I Love You" blog without having to actually list her since I don't know her at all?). However, I am extremely disappointed that he never contributes to the blogs.
Q.T. - I'll bet you're surprised to find your name here. Well, I have to admit (and the afore mentioned can attest) that I have never wanted to meet someone ever. But man, I can't wait for our movie-actor game. Your posts keep me going. Don't stop. And please know that I really don't think as highly of myself as I post. I actually quite hate myself. But, thanks to you, I now love J.T. So, therefore, I love you. It'll make sense when we meet. I'm not even gay. Well, that depends on your definition.

P.S. I triple dog dare any one of you to top this post~

6 comments:

BEM1212 said...

You may have just Smooches 2'd the list blog.

BEM1212 said...

And I mean that in the most complimentary way. I don't know what else to say. So instead I think I will go make some comments on other posts.

KNH said...

Reasons why I hate Derek...

he told me to read jon's post today while in the office...so now i am crying at my desk and i am supposed to take some recruits to lunch and make them love pwc...i am an ugly crier so i have 10 min to depuff my eyes

Boxcar said...

Why are you crying? There's no crying in List Anything! I hope it was a happy cry and not a sad cry. I'm sorry either way.

KNH said...

bc although i can be a cold hearted bitch; i am a sofy and true love, loyalty and friendship make me cry every time. and becasue people should say things like that to their friends all of the time...but no one ever does

Julie said...

I wish I had the perfect thing to say in response, but I do know that I am a pain in the a-double-s, so you must really mean the rest too. Thank you.