Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Reasons why "The Rock" is awesome

1) Someone finally realized that chemical weapons are much scarier than nuclear weapons because your face melts off before you die.
2) Ed Harris
3) Sean Connery plays an ex-spy who worked for his majeshty's shecret shervice and he does three really cool things a) opens his jail cell with a rope he made from bed sheets b) rolls through a fire pit that has flame bursts on a schedule (which he remembers from decades earlier) c) tells Ed Harris after getting caught "frankly I think you're a fucking idiot". James Bond was never that cool.
4) Nicolas Cage has three really funny lines and delivers them like only he can. a) "yeah, allright, so that was the most awful thing I've ever seen." b) "How in the name of Zeus's butthole did you get out of your cell?" c) "You know I like history too and maybe when this is all over you and I can stop by the souvenir shop together but right now I just...I just want to find some rockets!"
5) At one point it was in the Criterion Collection along with Robocop and Armageddon.

4 comments:

Questionable Taste said...

6) John Spencer. R.I.P. Leo McGarry.

P.S. - I remeber when being added to the Criterion Collection meant something...kind of like the Grammy's, only less gay.

BEM1212 said...

I just saw the title of your list, and thought you meant The Rock Dwayne Johnson, and I was gonna agree wholeheartedly, but I only have one reason - Saturday Night Live. Well, two, I like one of his tattoos. Weird, I know.

Maybe I should watch the other The Rock again.

Here is a list challenge. Rank all of Nicolas Cage's movies from top to bottom. Go.

Did you know he was almost *The Wrestler*?!? WHEW.

Questionable Taste said...

Challenge Accepted

Adaptation. (2002)....C.Kaufman / D.Kaufman
Raising Arizona (1987) .... H.I. McDunnough
Moonstruck (1987) .... Ronny Cammareri
Lord of War (2005) .... Yuri Orlov
Birdy (1984) .... Sgt. Alfonso 'Al' Columbato
Matchstick Men (2003) .... Roy Waller
Red Rock West (1992) .... Michael Williams
Valley Girl (1983) .... Randy
Face/Off (1997) .... Castor Troy / Sean Archer
Leaving Las Vegas (1995) .... Ben Sanderson
Trapped in Paradise (1994) .... Bill Firpo
Guarding Tess (1994) .... Doug Chesnic
City of Angels (1998) .... Seth
Con Air (1997) .... Cameron Poe
The Rock (1996) .... Dr. Stanley Goodspeed
The Family Man (2000) .... Jack Campbell
Snake Eyes (1998) .... Rick Santoro
It Could Happen to You (1994) .... Charlie Lang
Windtalkers (2002) .... Sergeant Joe Enders
The Weather Man (2005) .... David Spritz
Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) .... Jack Singer
World Trade Center (2006) .... John McLoughlin
Wild at Heart (1990) .... Sailor Ripley
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) .... Charlie Bodell
Bringing Out the Dead (1999) .... Frank Pierce
Amos & Andrew (1993) .... Amos Odell
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) .... Memphis Raines
National Treasure (2004) .... Ben Gates
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)....Ben Gates
The Ant Bully (2006) (voice) .... Zoc
Ghost Rider (2007) .... Johnny Blaze / Ghost Rider
Bangkok Dangerous (2008) .... Joe
Knowing (2009) .... John Koestler
Next (2007) .... Cris Johnson
Kiss of Death (1995/I) .... Little Junior Brown
The Cotton Club (1984) .... Vincent Dwyer
Vampire's Kiss (1988) .... Peter Loew
Rumble Fish (1983) .... Smokey
Tempo di uccidere (1989) .... Enrico Silvestri
The Boy in Blue (1986) .... Ned Hanlan
Fire Birds (1990) .... Jake Preston
Zandalee (1991) .... Johnny Collins
Racing with the Moon (1984) .... Nicky/Bud
Deadfall (1993) .... Eddie
Christmas Carol The Movie (2001) (v)....Jacob Marley
Grindhouse (2007)....Fu Manchu ("Werewolf Women")
Sonny (2002) .... Acid Yellow
Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream of the Brokenhearted (1990) (TV) .... Heartbreaker
Never on Tuesday (1988)(uncred.)....Man in Sports Car
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)....Cpt Antonio Corelli
8MM (1999) .... Tom Welles
The Wicker Man (2006) .... Edward Malus

Boxcar said...

Well, you are DEAD ON for the last two!