So, long story short...my DVR recorded American Pie for no apparent reason (perhaps a straggler from my Idol season pass??) and better still, I am actually sitting here...watching it. The flick launched a dozen careers (if you include the guy from that White Castle burger film and the girl that went on to star in a soap opera), but it also seems like it has taken a toll on several of the actors. Just check out this list. I’m calling it "The Curse of Pie" (because I’m not good at coming up with names for lists. But here it goes anyway.).
Chris Klein - Was engaged to Katie Holmes, but that fell apart. Shortly after faced charges for drunk driving. But honestly, wouldn’t you be drinking too once you came to the realization that you’ll never get to sleep with Katie Holmes ever again?
Shannon Elizabeth - Divorced. And, more importantly, has NOT removed a single article of clothing on film in 10 years. What’s that all about???
Natasha Lyonne - First of all, I don’t think anybody ever really considered her a real cast member because she was barely in the first movie, right? Well, that must’ve eaten her up inside– the girl has SNAPPED. Awhile back there was a warrant out for her arrest for skipping out on a court date. Oh, and why was she supposed to be in court? Because she threatened to molest her neighbor’s dog. Why would I make this shit up?
Sean William Scott & Alyson Hannigan- They both stuck around for American Wedding. If they’re not careful they’re going to end up like Mr. Belding and Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The New Class." I’m just saying it’s time to move on, that’s all.
The Guy who played Finch & The Kid from Rookie of the Year - I heard they dropped out of acting and now they’re running a 7-11 together in Sandusky, Ohio. Okay, I didn’t actually hear that, I’m just assuming. But you have to admit, it doesn’t sound that far fetched.
Mena Suvari - She’s gone from the Academy Award winning American Beauty to Beauty Shop. Somebody should tell her that just because a movie has the word "beauty" in it, doesn’t mean it’s definitely going to be good. On a side note, I find her ridiculosy hot and have no idea why.
Jason Biggs - Saving Silverman. Boys and Girls. Loser. Prozac Nation. Anything Else. Jersey Girl. My Best Friends Girl. Just tell me when to stop…
Tara Reid - If you actually need me to list the reasons, clearly you rarely check the interweb. But just for fun, I’ll leave you with this.
I think that sort of sums everything up in a nipple. I mean a nutshell.
1 comment:
Seann William Scott & Alyson Hannigan -- sad they stuck around for the sequel, but funny that they are arguably the most successful of the whole bunch. And SWS is clearly the most talented.
Other thoughts:
I hate Mena Suvari. Why is she famous? The mean girl in Bring It On should take her place in the world.
Saving Silverman is brilliant.
Finch makes me sad. He should be more famous. But instead he will be one of those old, fat guys in movies that you will watch on TBS some day and go, "Whoa, that's that kid!" Sad.
Chris Klein did Election so he really doesn't need to do anything else. He was quite good, but I think that is because he basically is Paul Metzler.
Post a Comment