My Favorite Women in the Hotel Bar Tonight
- Dead ringer for Dianne Weist in a top that looked a zebra ate a Monet painting and then vomited.
- A woman I couldn't see but when she laughed sounded like Edith Bunker being circumcised.
- Wide load in a gold lame top and a black skirt that looked like a lampshade from Bearden's (fancy and matching gold lasso-French trim on the bottom, for those of you unfamiliar with the Bearden's style). [She gets bonus points for singing "Bad Boys" out loud. In the bar. To Paul Giamatti with blond hair. (By the way, he wins favorite man. Paul Giamatti with blond hair looks a lot like Steve Zahn gone retarded insurance-man style.)]
- Anthony Michael Hall in drag, complete with Breakfast-Club-hair and black cocktail dress and NAMETAG (I love conventions) trilling Speedy-Gonzalez-style while she delivered her vodkafruitini to her friend.
- This woman (Anthony Keidis in drag) I had relegated to honorable mention until she stepped on the elevator with me along with her friend (Ricki Lake, in a baby crib bedspread) and held the following exchange:
- AK: "Was this hotel here when I lived here?"
- RL: "Don't know blah blah drunk."
- AK: "Well, all I know is, Pete's Piano Bar was here."
- AK & RL: (Getting off elevator) "Drunken blah blah blah"
This post brought to you by the Blackberry Curve (TM) and its incredible facilitating of note-taking in public places.
3 comments:
Now I love your business trips, too!
When I woke up this morning, I remembered the drunken blah blah blah. (I didn't have my blackberry out in the elevator and the details got lost in a bourbon haze when I sat down to type.
So,
AK: All I know is Pete's Piano Bar was here.
RL: Well, I love this hotel. I love their bed.
AK: Mm, slur.
RL: I bought one! Did I tell you that.
And that is the story of how I broke up with the Heavenly Bed (TM).
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