Monday, April 20, 2009

Given The Opportunity, Would You Sleep With Kirsten Dunst? (AKA, how I spent Saturday night arguing with a drunk gal in San Francisco)


Seriously, would YOU sleep with Kirsten Dunst if you had the chance? The cons of the situation are evident — by Hollywood standards, she ain’t exactly gonna crack the E! list of the 100 Hottest Celebrity Asses And V*ginas anytime soon, nor is she in line for any Acting Oscars / Primetime Emmys / Participation Trophies From Tooth-Related Competitions. She’s also been associated with Justin Long, who’s like 1% above just, like, a dude.

ON THE PLUS SIDE, though, she was in Eternal Sunshine, and Spider-Man 2 had its moments (not of her hotness, but moments), and I’ve never slept with anyone in the actual realm of celebrity (I don’t count Kathy Najimy, as it was years after Hocus Pocus), plus it would make for one hell of a blog post, possibly even better than those liveblogs every time I have sex now.

THE VERDICT: Definitely YES. Would I lose a little dignity and snark cred in exchange for the ability to watch Spider-Man with my grandkids and brag that I banged Mary Jane, and having my three-year-old granddaughter turn to me and say “I don’t even know what ‘banged’ means and that’s still f*cking disgusting”? Yes. Yes I would.

2 comments:

Boxcar said...

Um, you had me at "would...".
Yes. She is a babe. Who cares if she can act?

Boxcar said...

However, if I had the choice between her and almost anyone else, things might be different. But your choices sounded like her or nothing. And I choose her.