Holiday Movie Watching

Inspired by Donald Glovers tweet this morning and my first retweet ever! I would link to it but can't figure out how to do that on iPad.

Here are some movies I have watched over the past 2 days in Blackjack and Humble

Romeo and Juliette ( Claire and Leo version)
The Proposal *
national Treasure
national Treasure 2*
the Town
return of the Jedi
transformers*

I am sure there will be more to come. In silent H town for 2 more days.......

* did not watch entire movie.

Found list Christmas edition 2010

This is a list I found on the island at my parent's house about an hour before we had Christmas Dinner. My brother cooked all of Christmas Dinner - so I am not sure why she needed to make this list.

I originally wrote this post on Christmas Day, but I just now got around to downloading the picture from my blackberry.

Things I Had To Look Through On My Drive This Morning

1. Jacked up eyeball
2. Dirty glasses (because I can't wear contacts with a jacked up eyeball, and I can't find my little glasses cleaning cloth - think pjenks in 2000)
3. Scratched and foggy sunglasses over my glasses (thanks to my Dad and the doctor who did his cataract surgery last year)
4. Filthy windshield
5. My own guilt at being late for work, yet again

Also, all of this in absolute silence because my radio still doesn't work.

Miss Beth

Similar to Buster's latest list of someone else's found list, I give you Miss Beth's to-do list.

Things for Miss Beth to do

• Go to bar and drink until midnight
• Go home and party in undies
• Skip work and go to party
• Insult everyone
• Get run out of town
• Become a hermit

Celebrities That I Just Found Out Are Married to Other Celebrities (Named Ryan)

1. Mandy Moore (to Ryan Adams)
2. Scarlett Johansson (to Ryan Reynolds)
   

Best (or Worst) List Ever

Listicle Without Commentary: Products Found Alongside a One-Mile Stretch of Harrison Road, Columbia County, WI

• Marlboro Menthol, pack, empty

• McDonald's, large fry box, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Budweiser, can, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Orange Crush, bottle, 1/3 full

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Doral, pack, empty

• Culver's, paper cup, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Miller High Life, bottle, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Medical bracelet, J. Miller, DOB 03/08/67

• A&W, small coffee cup, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Miller Lite, can, empty

• Miller Genuine Draft, can, empty

• Wisconsin State Journal, Oct. 11, 2010, various incomplete sections

• Busch Lite, can, empty

overwhelming client meeting

Yesterday I had a meeting at a client's office, out of town.  Originally there were going to be two of us going to the meeting but the client didn't want to pay for two of us, so I had to go alone. When I walked into the room yesterday morning, alone, there were at least 15 people already there. 3 or 4 more came in and out so I never got the exact count at any given time. These 18 (EIGHTEEN!) or so people were from 5 (FIVE!) different companies.

...And only me to answer questions and such, for 8 (EIGHT!) hours.  (Yes, I want you to be amused, impressed, and sympathetic, all these things).

At the end of the meeting, I had managed to collect only 8 business cards from the following people (I have changed one letter in each name, for googling protection):

• Okimasa Nokanishi, Company A
• Hiraki Mochiki, Company B
• Otsushi Sozuki, Company B
• Haroshi Ochida, Company B
• Shoji Moramoto, Company C
• Alexandro Lora, Company D
• Mashahi Yojima, Company D
• Haroaki Abi, Company E

Three things I hope I never need to know how to do

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/09/16/things.fall.off/

What the Internet Thinks I Look Like

So I was trying to find information about a building lobby on Congress Avenue because a friend of a friend has just published a pretty awesome-looking book of photographs of high school football stadiums, and he's looking for a place to have a little party/hang some art. I did a Google image search for the building and found the assortment of pictures kind of puzzling. Of course I have googled myself many a time before, but never ever thought to Google Image myself. Here is what I found:

• One picture of me, on the second row
  
• One picture that I took that is posted somewhere on the UT School of Architecture's website
• Oh wait--another picture of me
• Lots of other so-called JFs, including one who appears to be a rodeo star
• Downtown tv show logo
• Lots of casualwear
• A few scantily clad A&F models
• Some beat-up-looking dude who seems to be giving a sports press conference
• Meryl Streep
• Julia Child
• A book cover and a movie poster related to the above two
  
• A calculator
• Some line graphs
• Lots of jeans folded to look like Ws

I highly recommend that you do this for yourself. This is, I think, my favorite JF image.

Emails I've received this month classified as 'High Importance'

These are the subjects of the emails I've received in August with ! next to them

• NEW Number
• Astros Tickets for Friday August 13
• Music Industry Accounting Position Open

Family Phone Calls This Week

Me: Will it be weird if I go?
Mom: Weird? Why in the world would it be weird? Unless you MAKE it weird...

---------

Cousin: You mean you knew this the whole time we were talking yesterday, and you kept it to yourself?!
Me: Yeah, I just didn’t really think it was my place to--
Cousin: Hot damn! I can’t believe that.
Me: Ok, well, I don’t know if my mom has told your mom yet.
Cousin: Well, I’m pretty sure he knew that cat was out of the bag when he told me.

---------

Mom: [I can’t tell whether she’s laughing or crying] Now, you need to keep this to yourself, but it's kind of one of those Friday the 13th deals. Your dad asked whose birthday it was, and I said, “I think it’s one of the twins’.”
Me: I can’t make that promise.Will it be weird if I go?
Mom: Weird? Why in the world would it be weird? Unless you MAKE it weird...

---------

Cousin: You mean you knew this the whole time we were talking yesterday, and you kept it to yourself?!
Me: Yeah, I just didn’t really think it was my place to--
Cousin: Hot damn! I can’t believe that.
Me: Ok, well, I don’t know if my mom has told your mom yet.
Cousin: Well, I’m pretty sure he knew that cat was out of the bag when he told me.

---------

Mom: [I can’t tell whether she’s laughing or crying] Now, you need to keep this to yourself, but it's kind of one of those Friday the 13th deals. Your dad asked whose birthday it was, and I said, “I think it’s one of the twins’.”
Me: I can’t make that promise.

Songs That Make Peoples' Heads Loll

Every time one of these songs comes on at a party, heads will loll. Try to keep still--can't be done.

1. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
   
2. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
   
3. What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
4. Sway - Dean Martin
   

What are some others?

Great Moments in My-My-My-My-My Boogie Shoes History

In reverse chronological order:

• Billy and Lauren's superfun jazz dance this week. This doesn't necessarily showcase the amazing technical skills that these two actually have, but I love it so so much. My favorite part is probably the easiest part of the whole routine, but I must have rewound it 8 times Wednesday night alone. At -1:25.

lauren billy 7 @ Yahoo! Video

• All of Sports Night comes back to the office drunk after getting thrown out of a bar. Makes me nostalgic for the career that no one actually has. Skip to about 8 minutes in.

• Making out with a stranger on the dance floor at a Shreveport club called The Reactor while K.C. and the Sunshine Band played LIVE. I have no video of this, but I can tell you that I was wearing a tshirt *tucked in* to plaid shorts, with matching socks and Dexters. Ah, Baylor days--you can see why I was so irresistible to that boy...

Overheard at the Family Reunion 2010

I really should have kept better notes, but here goes.

"That girl was on drugs and really messed up my haircut. And I'm gonna tell her that, too. As soon as she gets out of jail."

"Those horses follow one right behind the other. Until one of 'em craps."

My brother to me, following a really unfortunate incident that I should have been able to avoid (I must stress that this is commentary, NOT a request):
"How 'bout that shirtless hug?"

My mom--in a cabin full of middle-aged sober women, including me--to the shirtless step-cousin, who had just given a drunken speech about how to avoid public drunkenness charges in Arkansas. Cheery voice.
"Well, that is just GREAT information for everyone in this room."

Guess who--when asked which movie he had just spent the last (I want to say 2 hours, but really more like) 10 minutes explaining. As a warning to me, I should add, when he found out I'm going to Italy.
"It's called Taken. Or Tooken--I'm not sure."

50-something man obsessed with his new fancy camera, to 8 year-old girl:
"Look--it's a close-up of the hair between your eyebrows."

A Good Spell, Anyway

• What I say - I've known her for 20 years.
• What the Real Housewives of New York say - I know her for 20 years.
• What my mom and aunts say - I've been knowing her for 20 years.
  

Ten of the worst things on Earth, according to PJenkins

Not counting the really awful, terrible, life-threatening things, like oil spills, Sarah Palin, and suicide bombs.  

• Wasabi peas
• Mosquitos
• High school "friends" on Facebook
• Jay Leno
• Unruly eyebrows
• Car payments
• Hot electronic devices
• Elevators with no circulation
• Dry cuticles
• Unsolicited (career, relationship, financial or general life) advice

Today's Status Updates

• It's a good feeling when you're at the gym and a guy comes up to you and asks if you need a spot and you smile and tell him this is just your warm up weight.

• ցҽԵԵíղց ԹɑʍԹҽɾҽժ íՏ ցօօժ ƒօɾ Եհҽ Бօժվ!

• Status Update: I can't contain myself this afternoon! Why is this office open until 5!? I have energy that must be released, and cubicle world isn't very receptive.

• Uuggghh trip started out bad. Freckles went through my purse n ate 4 reese peanut butter cups two poptarts n the wrappers. Had to have wk make her puke it up. Sigh. Worried mama now

• Happy Friday-we made it! It's going to be a fantastic day! :-)

• Did u know that taking pics, txtn, and talking on the phone can have u driving on the wrong side of the rode? I think we should stop using our phone while operating a vehicle. Cops included because they drive reckless too. The next cop that I catch on the phone while driving or speeding w/ lights on just to get to the donut shop I am going to make a citizens arrest! I got a video camera n my car 2 officers!

• WHO are these kids and WHY are they calling me MOM??? ;) LMAO

• : I like my 1800 tequila on the rocks, and my 1792 kentucky bourbon straight up.. But tonite, just for Her, ive agree to do the white wine merlot. Damn, gotta give n frm time to time. Ive got the sweetest love..

What Just Happened

• Ate Schlotzsky's for dinner unaware that I had other options
• Had cocktails and watched others eat at Parkside
• Including a drink that I expected to be my local -Forecast- alternative, but was not
• Went to the Alamo Ritz for Soft Rock Sing-Along
• Inflated my inflatable fake microphone
• Sang the s**t out of some Billy Joel, Elton John, Sting, etc.
• Sulked during non-"Against All Odds" Phil Collins
• Sulked a little more during the 90s and 00s songs
• Complained a little bit to the friend of friend sitting next to me about how I might be over the sing-along
• Approximately 0.00002 seconds later was on my feet waiting for everyone else to recognize the beginning strains of "Jessie's Girl"
• Sang the s**t out of, among other songs, "Tiny Dancer" and "Don't Stop Believing"
• Into my fake inflatable microphone
• While dancing and waving my glow stick in the air like I just didn't care
• Had this conversation while walking to cars and passing people heading out for Thursday Night on 6th Street: other girl "Oh, they look so young!" Boy walking the other direction: "Did you hear that? 'They look so young.' You look OLD." other girl: "Ok, well there's my minivan."

Things In The Freezer of A Girl I Met At Dinner

• Pet snake carcass (with same name as girl I met at dinner. belonged to her husband. waiting to be made into belt)
• Bear skin
• Alligator head with bullet hole
  
• Two (2) bobcats
  

Stories of Interest - April 30 2010

My igoogle CNN headlines today were all interesting to me. I hope they are to you too...in order of how I read them


Conan O'Brien: I would never do what Jay Leno did to me


How we became white people


iPhone finder regrets his 'mistake'

Today's Facebook Status Updates of Interest

• Lady at work (who broke her arm): I tried to brush my teeth this morning and all i can say is this is goin to be a long ass 6 weeeks.. but alease i will have my family at work to making my day!! i"m so bless to have so many concern friends at work!!
• Guy friend from the past:  excited about th bidet the wife set up for us.
• Young girl I barely know: cranky muffin ; )
• Girl from high school I do not even know: is up sick, sick, sick and Gage and Bo are snoring, snoring, snoring! I HATE this stomach virus, its worse than the last time I had it!
• Girl from high school (and every other person on Facebook): It's gonna be a great day-TGIF!

People are funny, gross and stupid. 

American Idol and Steve

So, Steve voted last night and here are the results:
Chrystal = 3 times.
Andrew = 0 times.
Everyone else = 2 times.

At least, this is the information I got from my mom.

Things I Bought at Marshall's For The Same Amount I Thought I'd Spend on Item #1

1. Trench Coat

2. Black Flats

3. Black Wedges

4. Printy Flats

5. Lamp (actually, 2 of these)

Some entertaining #LOST tweets tonight

• nwilliamson I love how Desmond often ends his sentences with Brotha #lost
• ShusePDX Stupid #Lost, always splitting up the gang. You're worse than Scooby-Doo!
• MrBShah Im convinced its the audience, not the ppl on the island that r #lost I hope the ending isnt open ended where u r left 2 open interpretation
• LostVagabond RT @LostVagabond: RT @LostVagabond: Worst. Show. Ever. #LOST
• wfehler @lonnietaylor #LOST is a mosquitos dream. #worstendingimagined
• lunarobverse YES JACK JUST LISTEN GOD FUCK #LOST  

Emails received at my yahoo address today

• From: A Place for Mom
  Subject: Get_your_mom_or_dad_the_senior_care_they_need
  
  
• From: Friendster
  Subject: Photo tagging now available on Friendster!
  

Today's Popular Stories on MyFoxHouston.com

someone sent me a link to story #1 and i just had to share the top stories...

1. County Approves Dynamo Stadium Deal
2. Watch the MyFoxHouston Glee Audition Finalists
3. Unusual Crash Slows 610 Loop
4. HISD Investigates Middle School Fights On YouTube
5. More Evidence in Death of 2 Baytown Teen Girls
6. Sick Couple Left to Eat Dog Food
7. View the Texas Primary Runoff Election Results
8. Police: Father Left Children in Car for Strip Club Visit
9. Girl Waiting for Bus Forced Into Car, Sexually Assaulted
10. 4 Men Sentenced in Armored Car Robbery

I gave up on the links....this is from yesterday and i am too lazy to finish it out.

Happy Birthday, Julie!!!

In honor of Julie's 25th birthday, here is a non-comprehensive list of things that will always remind me of Julia Fitch.

• Sports Night
• Car air conditioning
• Night swimming (not the REM song)
• Pub trivia
• Hangovers
• Maker's Mark
• Country music
• Dancing (of any kind)
• Watch-checking during movies
• Harry Connick Jr.
• Brita pitcher
• Evening (the book I still haven't read, not the time of day)
• Being tired (in a good way because we stay up way too late)
• The desire to write a novel
• The desire for HER to write a novel
• White cars
• Betsy's
• Photobooths
• 7-11
  

Starbucks Gold Level Rewards

signs i spend too much money at Starbucks...i have reached gold level of My Starbucks Rewards. here are the perks:

• Free birthday drink
• 2 continuous hours of free Wi-Fi daily
• Free refills on brewed coffee and tea
• Free flavored syrups
• Free soymilk
• Free tall (12 fl oz) beverage with every pound of coffee purchased
• Exclusive offers & coupons
• FREE DRINK EVERY 15 YEARS

Things that bear repeating

I love Desmond
I love Desmond
I love Desmond
and Fionnula Flanagan.

Ralph

This is what the side of our house looks like. Two garbage bins and one recycling bin. The following events occurred last week. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.


One of the bins was halfway full. The other was empty.


Well, the empty bin wasn't ENTIRELY empty. It had a nice little puddle of rain water at the bottom (and a couple of buzzing flies).



Ralph was either asked to take a trash bag to the bin or he took it upon himself to actually contribute. Either way, it was, perhaps, the only time in history that he took out the trash and had to figure out on his own where to place it.


He chose to drop it in the otherwise empty bin. Right into the rainwater.






ME.

People in My Family That Have Crashed Computers in the Past Two Weeks

• My Step-Dad (the computer engineer)
• My Brother (two separate occasions, two separate computers, same reason)
  

Things My Step-Dad Says That Confirm the Fact He Doesn't Know Me at All...

• Boy, Jon, you really would have enjoyed this canoe race I went to last weekend.

Step-dad

I just got back from a brisk 3-mile walk and then spent an hour tearing up cardboard. It's a nice sunny day and I'm drenched in sweat (and happy about it).
I come in the kitchen to wash my hands when Steve comes down from his upstairs office. It's Friday and he decided to take the day off (which always brings me joy).
First? His outfit.

• Dockers house slippers
• black socks
• pajama bottoms
• button-up long-sleeve polo shirt (tucked in)
• winter hat

So, we start talking about my upcoming move to California and while we're talking (couldn't tell you what we actually said because my mind wanders whenever he speaks) he starting making the following lunch...

• Toasted rye bread
• butter (not a little)
• american cheese (two slices)
• ketchup

He then proceeded to put the bread together (which formed some kind of vomit sandwich) and eat it.

I need a shower.

Facebook Status Updates - 2010 Version

based on most recent:

• 8 min ago - Guy I used to work with became a fan of Best Buy
• 27 min ago - Girl I went to elementary school with: It is my cats birthday today. She is 5 which means that if your pets birthday is multiplied by 7 to equal us in human years then she is officially older than me now.....hmmmm not sure what to think of that one.
• 29 min ago - My Cousin's fiance: probably one of the best days ever.....work was good, dinner was great, my night was fantastic...until people started getting sick lol...dannnng it
• 36 min ago - same girl i went to elementary school with: Anyone else want to do my laundry I need to fold and put it up but I keep running out of time and now I am sleepy again.
• 50 min ago - wife of high school friend of my boyfriend : congrats to the Oklahoma women - Final Four bound!
• about an hour ago - same girl i went to elementary school with: supermom does it again! K**** put his foot through his bedroom window and I managed to bandage it and replace the window with a new one all by myself.

Hyatt Lost Pines -

I am at a tax conference for the next 2 days at the Hyatt Lost Pines (that new resort in between Basrtop and Austin) Here is a list of activities listed on the brochure that I received from Beth when I checked in

at the Renegade Trailhead

• Armadillo Trail Rides
• Hyatt Trail Rides
• Lost Pines Trail Rides
• Pony Rides
• Archery
• Skeet Shooting
• Horse Camp

In case you aren't into horse activities there is also...

• tennis
• disc golf
• pool
• slide
• adult hot tub
• towel corral
• bike rentals
• game room
• fire pit

PJenkins' Southwest Airlines Flight Tips, circa 2004

THE BACKGROUND 

Inspired by Boxcar's post I would like to post my own flight tips provided to Buster in response to his question:

"i am flying southwest.  what is the procedure with southwest?  if you look at your reward deal on the internet, it shows your upcoming flights, and i have none on mine, which is my question. I am leaving thursday night and coming back monday morning. I have no idea what i am supposed to do, and i don't feel like finding out for myself. since you are an experienced traveler, you should tell me exactly what i should do, so i know what i am doing as far as where to go when i get to the airport, and what do do once i get there, and how early to get there.  I haven't flown since 1999.  and i am a retard."

THE LIST

#1.  You need to print that receipt out for both you and Matt and also
write on it your rapid rewards number.

#2.  Take your drivers license.

#3.  Being a professional traveler, I would get there at 530.  Being
unsure of where to park and what to do, I would get to the airport at
500.  It is the Austin airport remember.  You would have to be
retarded to get there any earlier than 5.  Now that I have said that,
you should go ahead and get there 2 hours early.

#4.  Go to the southwest ticket counter, which is on the left side.
Pull out your drivers license.  Do not pull out the dorky email
printout unless there is a problem.
They will say, "where are you  headed" or "destination" and you will
say, "Tampa"  Do not say "Tampa Bay" - cool, professional travelers
just say "Tampa"

#5.  OR !  you can check in at the kiosk by simply swiping your credit
card and it prints your boarding pass and this is faster but means you
can not check your luggage (Unless you are smart like me but that is
too much work to talk about) and then you also could not do #6

#6   Ask the lady when she is almost done - Can you check and see if
they put my rapid rewards number on there.  and only pull out the
dorky itinerary printout if she says no and asks you the number.

#7.  Check your bags with the lady - if you are checking bags.  I
always check my bag because you don't want to be the asshole who can't
find a spot in the overhead bin for your bag.

#8.  Proceed WITH BOARDING PASS to security.   Remove your watch,
belt, change, and other metal stuff and put it in your carry on bag so
you do not have to waste everyone's time taking it out of your pockets
and putting it in a bowl.  Wear flip flops so you do not have to take
off your shoes.  Keep your drivers license and your boarding pass in
your pocket.   Go thru security.

#9 - maybe maybe not get strip searched

#10 - go to gate.  Wait.   If you have a boarding pass that says A on
it - do not get in line until the line is moving.  People who have As
and stand in line are stupid.  You will get a good seat even if you
are the very last A.  If you have a B, watch and see when people start
getting in the B line.  When a few people are in the B line, you will
want to walk over the B line and stand in it also but you will want to
look like you don't REALLY care whether or not you get a good seat,
you are just standing in line because it's just another place to stand
and who cares?  you're cool with whatever.  Because if you get in the
front of the B line you can get a good seat.  if you get in the back
of the b line, you will be sitting between say, Anne Newman* and Glenn**.
 If you have a C on your boarding pass, go buy headphones , a
magazine, and spray febreeze in your nostrils.  YOu will have a crappy
seat.   The A, B, C is determined by time of check in - if you get
there at 430 - you will have an A for sure.  Id say you're still safe at
5pm.

#11 - board the plane.  Board the plane and be sure to say "Have a
great day" to the lady checking your boarding pass, becuase then she
will know that you are not scared at all, but so confident taht you
will land safely and have a good day taht you want her to have one too
and are able to tell her so.

#12 - Walk on the plane and figure out  -== "where is the hottest
person on this plane going to sit and how can I sit in just the right
spot where they will be free to talk to me but not forced to do so and
then we will get married - or at least make out while in [destination]
(in your case Tampa).  This is the hardest part of the trip.

#13 - sit down wherever you want and buckle your seatbelt before the
lady has to tell you to do it.

#14 - DO NOT TRY TO TURN ON THE A/C UNTIL YOU ARE IN THE AIR.  People
look so dumb fiddling with that thing when it will not work until we
are flying, stupid guy!

#15 - Pray.

#16 - Order bloody mary mix and enjoy peanuts.  Do not look stupid
trying to open your peanuts but hopefully open them on the first try.
Do not spill peanuts all over the floor. Do not spill bloody mary mix
all over your shirt.

#17 - Read magazine and if the hot person on the plane is also reading
the same magazine as you are, be sure and hold your magazine up (not
obviously) so that they will know how much you have in common and say
to themselves, "hey, that cute guy reads the economist too!  which is
especially cool because you are wearing flipflops and not stodgy
economist clothes).

#18 - that's about all i can think of.  wash your hands if you use the
restroom and remember your stuff when you get off the plane.  try as
hard as you can to stand next to the hot person at baggage claim but
chances are s/he has only carryons - leather bag from Kenneth Cole***
probably - and just walked right on out of the airport into the car
with someone way hotter than you.  Look for Stephen, tell him hi,
remember why you are there in the first place, and acknowledge that
you will have way more fun with Stephen than you would have with the
probably boring hot person who chances are listens to either remixes of
cyndi lauper songs or the greatest hits from andrew lloyd webber.

#19 - Have a great time, dude!

_________________________________________________________________
* Big, fat US history teacher at Marshall High School.  A wonderful woman,just large.
** Our grandfather.  Old, yellow hair.  Smells like Aquanet, Brut, and old cotton.
*** Shut up. It was 2004, people.

Disclaimer:  These no longer apply completely, due to the revised boarding policy.

Flight Tips

I do not fly often, so since I'm traveling tomorrow I thought I'd glance over the TSA's list of prohibited items (I was concerned about my razor refills) and came upon some very useful information.
I left out the OBVIOUS prohibited items but thought you'd like to know that the following items are NOT allowed as carry-on:

Sharp Objects...

• Ice Axes
• Ice Picks
• Meat Cleavers
• Sabers
• Swords

Sporting Goods...

• Bows and Arrows
• Spear Guns

Guns and Firearms...

• *Gun Lighters

*Permitted in checked baggage only if it does not contain lighter fluid

Tools...

• Hatchets
• Cattle Prods
  
• Crowbars
• Saws

Martial Arts and Self Defense Items...

• Billy Clubs
• Black Jacks
• Kubatons
• Throwing Stars

(and my personal favorite) Explosive and Flammable Materials, Disabling Chemicals, & other DANGEROUS Items...

• Blasting Caps
• Dynamite
• Hand Grenades
• Plastic Explosives
• Realistic Replicas of Explosives
• Gas Torches

p.s. I did not make up ANY of these.

a non-comprehensive list of songs I hate on albums I otherwise love

• Car Wheels on a Gravel Road --- Lucinda Williams, Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
• Man Burning --- Josh Ritter, Hello Starling
• Under Your Charms --- Josh Rouse, 1972
• Tin Man --- The Avett Brothers, I and Love and You
• Don't Stop* --- Fleetwood Mac, Rumours

* I blame Bill Clinton.

Step Dad

I was helping my mom clean out yet another room today and came across a few things that I felt needed to be photographed. These are just a few things that my step-dad will NOT throw away.


1. Um...

2. Look closely at the date...1980. And notice, please, there is an entire STACK of these "receipts"

3. Again, notice the date. 1982. This is a contract for Encyclopedia Brittanicas.

4. I counted a total of 7 of these computer monitors throughout the house.

5. I can't tell you how many mornings I wake up to Steve getting his morning workout in. He truly is the Body Champ.

12 favorite things on TV in the past 72 hours (including DVR), with limited commentary

• Michelle Pfeiffer presents Jeff Bridges.  It was like my TV turned into my fairy godmother.
• Pageant Talk  please, every week
• Will Forte's "Women's Herstory: Did You See What I Did There?" (especially at the 41:50 mark)
• Abed's Don Draper I am a convert
• Anything bad happening to Brandy and Carol on The Amazing Race. Where do they find these people?
• Jet and Cord: "check" and drunk
• Robert Downey Jr's entrance on Jimmy Kimmel's show and the rest of the show for that matter
• Babs! boobs!
• Kathryn Bigelow, obviously
• Sandra Bullock, undisputedly
• What Up With That? , as always
• annnnnnnnnnnnnnd, the end of basketball season, thankfully

No Guts, No Glory (Academy Award Edition)

Best Picture: Avatar
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Original Screenplay: Inglourious Basterds
Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air
Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actress: Carey Mulligan
Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Editing: The Hurt Locker
Art Direction: Avatar
Sound: The Hurt Locker
Sound Editing: Avatar
Cinematography: Avatar
Costumes: The Young Victoria
Documentary: The Cove
Documentary Short: China's Unnatural Disaster
Foreign Language: Un Prophete
Animated Film: Up
Animated Short: Loaf and Death
Live Action Short: Abracadabra
Makeup: Star Trek
Score: Up
Song: The Weary Kind
Visual Effects: Avatar

Things I Have Enjoyed This Year So Far

• Captain Obvious (step-dad) saying the following: "This ranch dressing taste different from thousand island" AND "when it's sudden death in a Hockey game, it's a coin toss".
• The pimple-faced, 19-year-old, wearing an Office Depot shirt, getting my attention in line at Starbucks and asking me the following: "Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question? I'm trying to start up my own business as a life coach and...I just...I'm not sure where to start. I've gotten really good at reading faces and body language but now, I just don't know...do you have any advice?" -- my reply after realizing he was serious..."Um, maybe look it up online and see what other life coaches are doing?" -- what I WANTED to say "Um, maybe find another line of work since you're asking someone who is 36, unemployed and living with his parents if he has any advice on how to be a LIFE COACH."
  

Ice Dancing Music

Earlier this evening while waiting on ice dancing to start, I thought to myself:

"What music would I enjoy hearing in an ice dancing performance?"

In order, my answers to myself (all movie music):

1. In the Mood for Love
2. Requiem for a Dream
3. Blue (or, Bleu)

And then those Frenchies went and did a routine to....(no, not Bleu, silly)....Requiem for a Dream!  And it was as crazy as Sara Goldfarb in a tight, red dress!

a non-comprehensive list of things I owe to Julie

• my craziness for The Frug
• Bob Fosse in general
• my refined taste in bourbon
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• if I ever watch it, Sports Night
• Buddy & Julie Miller
• hopefully soon, an understanding of "counting" foods
• knowledge of the Immersion Blender
• my stint in 78704
• my new (second-)favorite poster
• Devs
• the goosebumps I hope to get watching Ice Dancing tonight
• (please, no more of this gimmicky shit!)

12 recent obsessions

• my weight
• stretching
• things you can do with ground turkey*
• magical brussel sprouts
• magical French crystals aka Oscillococcinum
• M&M's
• my parents' finances
• the value of big marble balls
• dining out
• cooking in 
• organization
• Norwegians, namely Aksel Lund Svindal and those curling pants**

 --in related news--
ongoing obession: Academy Awards
revived obsession: Netflix
upcoming obsession: Michael Fassbender

___

*by "things" I mean "meals" and by "do" I mean "cook"
** I think the new goal of my weight loss plan is to wear those pants to the Shell Houston Open. Happy Easter!

Auction items I have purchased...

... in the last 8 years, at the EHS auction (list requested by KNH).

• Dusty Mangum autographed football
• Neil Diamond album cover, autographed and framed (for my dad)
• "Feminine Purse" (for Karen, or whomever)*
• Lightweight running jacket
• Marble Ball on Stand

*this is the item's title in the auction book

12 foods I miss the most

• Rice cakes with gobs of peanut butter and a big glass of milk
• French fries
• McDonald's, to be honest.*
• Pizza
• Schlotzsky's Deluxe Original on Jalapeno Cheese Bread
• Treebeards' Chicken and Sausage "Jambalaya" with Jalapeno Cornbread**
• Various soups
• Chips and queso
• Big old burritos
• Fried pickles
• The occasional chocoloate chip cookie
• Oatmeal Squares

and to drink, red wine on a more daily basis

*How is that possible?
**Jambalaya in quotation marks to avoid outrage from DJ.

What I Could Learn in Cleveland, Ohio

I'm on some kind of conference email list. The theme is "The Experience Economy," and I beg you to explain to me what this means.

• Monday - Envisioning experiences via the Progression of Economic Value and ing-ing the thing
• Tuesday - Hitting the Sweet Spot (4E's) and THEME-ing
• Wednesday - Customizing experiences by eliminating Customer Sacrifice (3S's) and Four Types of Mass Customization
• Thursday - Directing employees to act via business stagecraft (Work Is Theatre)
• Friday - Going beyond Experiences via Transformations.

At the end you get some kind of certification.
It is not led by Michael Scott.

In Honor of President's Day...

The Greatest Moments in West Wing history

The streets of heaven are too crowded tonight...



Two Cathedrals



Bartlet for America



Thanks Boss.



You Get Hoynes

people it is impossible to choose between

In alphabetical order, by last name:

• Will Forte
• Seth Meyers
• Jason Sudeikis

Almost: Andy Samberg

Ways to Waste Money: Lone Star Saloon Edition

• Spend money on well drinks ($20.00 approximately)
• Buy Super Bowl Square ($5.00)
• Take the advice of the only other awake person in the bar and buy "Midnight in Paris" by Stephen Stills on itunes ($1.08).

Things I Have Already Learned Today

• Naps are beneficial
• Subconsciously, I am somewhat fluent in Spanish. In my dreams I speak it pretty well, with the occasional "Como se dice?" sprinkled in there.
• You should not, I repeat, NOT go to the grocery store on Super Bowl Sunday. At least not a grocery store in any proximity to the home state of a certain team that counts among its fans a lot of people who wait til the last minute and argue over which package of ground beef looks good or who is going to be having the better party tonight. Who Dat!
• You can buy your groceries in the Starbucks line. If you are a selfish shrew.
  
• Sometimes it is better to park two buildings away than to attempt to navigate a parking lot of idiots, shopping carts, and old ladies.
• The so-called "Battle between Cantonese and Mandarin" started in Hong Kong in the mid-1980s.

Things I've Bought in the Last Few Days

Crate & Barrel

• 2 cutting boards
• Oxo pop containers
• Bamboo spoon
• Bottle stopper

Ulta

• Nail polish
• Neutrogena 5-minute facial
• Enough other stuff to total $55
  

Target

• Measuring cups
• Measuring spoons
• Another cutting board (seriously)
• Giada Di Laurentiis for Target whisk
• Socks
• Etc.

Home Depot

• 4 Storage bins (clear)
• A/C filters

Container Store

• elfa system (will become my new desk and shelves when I install)
• Stacking shelves to organize my kitchen cabinets
• Pan rack
  

Things I Did NOT Buy (yet)

• Birthday gift for Jon

So...too much and not enough

happy birthday to Jon & also to List Anything

Today is Jon's XX birthday and List Anything's second birthday.

10 people I would invite to Jon's birthday party:

• Sting
  
• Tori Amos
• Barbara Streisand
• Harry Connick, Jr.
• Dennis Quaid
• David Fincher
• David Mamet
• Rebecca Pidgeon
  
• Robert Downey, Jr.
• Neko Case
  

*with conditions, possibly Renee Zellweger or Quentin Tarantino

10-plus people I would invite to List Anything's birthday party:

• Raymond
• Toni Collette
• Blair Waldorf
  
• Tina Fey
• the Fitch Family
  
• William James Murray
• Jon's Stepdad
• Lucinda Williams
• DJ's dad
• waitress

This last list is a little me-centric. Sue me. You can invite 10 people also.

Happy Birthday!

traffic lights that raise my blood pressure

There are a lot of long, misplaced, or useless traffic lights in the world. But there are only 3 that I have to deal with on an ongoing, at least weekly (if not daily) basis, and I would like to publicly complain about them here.

• As DJ called it, "The Light of D'Amico" -- What a shock to see in the Google Maps photo that cars are stopped at this pointless light for no reason (notice no cars going the other direction). This light is always red, and it makes way for people driving in and out of the AIG parking lot on the east, and a strip mall with a Subway, a gay bar, and a Laff Stop on the west.
  
• Yale and I-10 -- The freeway's frontage road dead ends into the grass, but there is a stop light there that runs all day and night. Also there is a light facing west. A light telling cars to stop or go, coming out of the grass. Going the wrong way on a one way frontage road off the freeway.
  
• Washington and TC Jester -- A stoplight to protect people in and out of the CVS parking lot. Possibly necessary during the day, but please put a sensor on it so it only turns red on Washington (a major thoroughfare) when necessary.

Thank you for your time.

Addendum to list about 01022010

Funny -- the whole reason I even started that list was because while I was running I thought of something about 01022010 that was noteworthy, and I thought, "Hey, I'll make a list about today. But I have to think of other things about today to say."

So I came home and ate and started making the list and then finished the list and then this morning realized I completely forgot to list the one thing about 01022010 that I originally thought was noteworthy.

I quit smoking one year ago. Since then I have:

• Bought zero packs
• Smoked zero cigs
• Taken zero drags
• Lit two cigarettes for others while drinking. Sue me.

some things about Feb. 1, 2010

• I said "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" this morning. And also at 12:03 a.m., before I went to sleep, in case that's how it works.
• I prayed this morning, about a few things, including a work-related item and a Derek-related item.
• I bought a Playstation 3 last night and hooked it up in the wee hours of Feb. 1, 2010. Let me tell you, the PS3 is quite possibly the best thing ever.
  
• If I were anything other than American, I would have been real excited to write the date over and over again on this Palindrome Day: 01022010.
• I ran a full 1.5 miles tonight. This is the farthest I have run without a walk-break since sometime in 2008. I walked the 1.5 miles back.
• My mother broke my heart today, in a good way - in the way only a mother can do. And I realized yet another reason it is probably a good thing that I am not likely to have children. I don't think I could bear the magnitude of the love a parent must feel for his or her child. I would sink under the weight of it.
• Re: the work-related item I prayed about -- a meeting I have been dreading on a project that has gone off the rails. The meeting went well and I think I got things straightened out. It was good to feel (for the first time in a long time) like I am good at my job. And to appreciate that being good at my job is a blessing.
  
• Re: the Derek-related thing I prayed about -- I don't like to spoil or jinx things but there were positive developments for which I am grateful. And optimistic.
• I bought Suttree today. I am ashamed to admit here that I've never read it. But so excited about it.
• I also bought some Bath and Body Works hand soap today, in the flavor of Sea Island Cotton. I have wanted this soap for over a year, but you know?, I never find myself in (or near) a Bath and Body Works. But what a day is 01022010!!
• Tomorrow morning they will announce Oscar nominations. That means tonight is the one night a year I can stay up as long as I want and know that I will wake up early no matter what!
• Here are ten things that I think about tomorrow morning:

1. The Hurt Locker should get nominated for Picture, Director, Editing, Cinematography, Actor, Supporting Actor, Screenplay, both Sounds. I'd be cool with Art Direction and Costume Design, too, but that seems like a stretch.
2. As boring a choice as this seems to me, Marion Cotillard really should get nominated for Nine. Or it wouldn't kill me if she got nominated for Public Enemies.
3. Jeff Bridges. Hooray.
4. I really hope Avatar does not get a screenplay nomination.
5. If Sam Rockwell or Viggo Mortensen get nominated I will take the day off of work.
6. Alright, I get it that my love of Moon is subjective. However, that score should get nominated and, honestly, should win. It won't. Buy the soundtrack.
   
7. If Sally Menke does not get nominated for editing Inglourious Basterds I am going to beat a German with a bat.
8. Only the Oscars could make me root against Sandra Bullock and Stanley Tucci.
   
9. I think I would marry Vera Farmiga.
10. Not to harp on this Avatar/Hurt Locker business too much, but it honestly is almost exactly how I felt about Titanic/L.A. Confidential 12 years ago. Who here remembers those tirades?

• Hey everybody, today is LOST Eve!
• I filed my tax return today. I love refunds. I can't wait til next year!
  
• While I have been typing this, I am watching Raising Arizona. It makes for a good end to the day.
• Speaking of Oscars, they really should create an award for Scene Stealer (or Bit Part, or Cameo) in honor of Frances McDormand in this movie. They could even call it the Dot Award. She is absolutely amazing.
• I think Ed McDunnough knows what I'm talking about re: parent/child. "I LOVE HIM SO-HO MU-HUCH...." But not more than Viggo in The Road.
  
• Happy February, gang.
  

Random Photos Saved to 'My Pictures'

various obsessions, after thoughts, and explorations...historically I've never really archived many pictures, so I'm not sure what they say about me...with that in mind, I ask you...what the hell was I possibly thinking when I not only clicked, but saved:

Update on New Years Resolutions for Boxcar

1. Drink less - I have definitely had less to drink but still too much. I think I can consider this one "achieved" as long as I continue only drinking 5 or 6 nights per month.
2. Finish at least three good screenplays - I am well on my way to finishing my first of the year so I will count this as "achieved" as well.
3. Move out of my parents house - We may have to wait until summer for this one but it's going to happen this year.
4. Watch at least one new movie every day - See other post.
5. Get a job - Too early to tell.
6. Meet a girl - Too early to tell.
7. Lose weight - On track. Please see other blog.
8. See all my friends in Texas - Thanks to P. Jenks this will happen in March or April
9. Read 40 books - See other post.
10. Live long enough to see next year - so far so good.

#4 on Boxcar's New Years Resolutions

4. Watch a new movie every day.

I started keeping a movie journal and here is what January looked like (I know I won't have time tomorrow to watch a movie so it is officially done for January). I also graded each movie immediately after watching it. Obviously, I should never be a professional critic.

1. Knife in the Water - 1962 (ns) - A+
2. La Bete Humaine - 1938 (ns) - A
3. Extract - 2009 (n) - C -
4. 500 Days of Summer - 2009 (n) - B+
5. The Strange Love of Martha Ivers - 1946 (ns) - A+
6. District B13 - 2004 (ns) - B+
7. The Stranger - 1946 (ns) - A
8. On Dangerous Ground - 1952 (n) - A+
9. Mr. Arkadin - 1955 (ns) - C *poorly dubbed version probably ruined it for me
10. Terminator Salvation - 2009 (n) - D
11. Murder, My Sweet - 1944 (n) - A+
12. The Friends of Eddie Coyle - 1973 (n) - A
13. Sherlock Holmes - 2009 (t) - B+
14. Crossfire - 1947 (n) - A
15. Le Corbeau - 1943 (ns) - A+
16. The Aura - 2005 (ns) - A
17. Mad Max - 1979 (n) - B+
18. Moon - 2005 (n) - A
19. No Right Turn - 2009 (n) - F-
20. Magnum Force - 1973 (ns) - B+
21. The Hurt Locker - 2009 (n) - A++
22. Panic in the Streets - 1950 (ns) - B
23. Year of Living Dangerously - 1982 (ns) - B+
24. Marley and Me - 2008 (n) - C+
25. Fall of the Republic - 2008 (yt) - C+
26. What Just Happened - 2008 (ns) - B
27. Book of Eli - 2010 (t) - B+
28. The Oxbow Incident - 1943 (ns) - B+
29. Gamer - 2009 (n) - F
30. Pandorum - 2009 (n) - D+
31. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - 2009 (n) - B+
32. Suddenly - 1954 (ns) - A-
33. Vera Cruz - 1954 (ns) - A+
34. The Searchers - 1956 (ns) - A+++
35. The Professionals - 1966 (ns) - A+
36. Casablanca - 1942 (n) - A++++++++
37. 400 Blows - 1959 (ns) - A+++
38. Night Moves - 1975 (ns) - A
39. Shooter - 2007 (n) - B
40. Adventureland - 2009 (n) - B+
41. Edge of Darkness - 2010 (t) - A-

(n) = netflix
(ns) = netflix streaming
(yt) = youtube
(t) = theater

#9 on Boxcar's New Years Resolutions

9. Read 40 books

Well, I am right on pace and here is what I have read thus far:

1. Story - Robert McKee
2. Where Men Win Glory - Jon Krakauer *
   
3. The Man Who Loved Books Too Much - Allison Hoover Bartlett **
   
4. The Family - Jeff Sharlet ***
   
5. A Feast For Crows - George R.R. Martin ****

* So sad and revealing. I honestly had no idea what real "friendly fire" was.
** Incredibly interesting non-fiction for anyone who appreciates collecting of any kind.
*** Research. Also interesting
****I am only 200 pages into it so far so not officially counting it as a January read and considering it is over 1000 pages, it may end up being my ONLY February read.

BATB's (in honor of P. Jenks)

For those of you NOT in the know...BATB is Bad Ass Television Babes. The following is a list of my favorites (in order)...part of Decade In Review...

1. Sydney Bristow - Alias (Jennifer Garner)
2. Echo - Dollhouse (Eliza Dushku)
   
3. Fiona Glenanne - Burn Notice (Gabrielle Anwar)
4. Danielle Rousseau - Lost (Mira Furlan)
5. Zoe Washburne - Firefly (Gina Torres)
   
6. Olivia Dunham - Fringe (Anna Torv)
7. Veronica Mars - Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell)
   
8. Juliet Burke - Lost (Elizabeth Mitchell)
9. Kate Austen - Lost (Evangeline Lilly)
10. Casey Shraeger - The Unusuals (Amber Tamblyn)

My Favorite "Wheel of Fortune" Contestants

(at least that I could find on youtube)

5. Becki


4. Kevin


3. George, Shane and Lee


2. Raymond


1. Dalila!

Jan. 24 - a good day

• Woke up at 7:30am;
• Read a bit (The Bourne Supremacy);
  
• Rode my bike about 8 miles;
• Spent 6 hours at work cleaning my office;
  
• Recycled half a bin of paper;
  
• Colts won;
• Favre lost (and the Saints won for DJ);
  
• The Hurt Locker won the PGA, meaning...
• Avatar lost (and these are the people who care about the money);
• And now I'm watching Season 2 of Deadwood.

A great day.

Some of my Favorite Movie Speeches

Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton, Opening
Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting, Vickus
Denzel Washington, Malcom X, Bamboozled...Hoodwinked
Gregory Peck, To Kill a Mockingbird, In the name of God
Robert Shaw, Jaws, The Indianapolis
Alec Baldwin, Glengarry Glen Ross, Always Be Closing
Alec Baldwin, Malice, I Am God
Michael Douglas, Wall Street, Greed is Good
Ned Beatty, Network, Forces of Nature
Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction, Ezekiel 25:17
Michael Douglas, The American President, I am the President
Christopher Walken, Pulp Fiction, The Watch

Job Applications

A list of jobs for which I interviewed, as best as I can recall:

• Tropical Sno - sno-cone maker/sno-cone stand attendant*
• Home Video Plus Music - video store clerk, and Beetlejuice watcher*
• UT Austin College of Communication - peer advisor*
• Winchester Production Company/Westchester Gas Company - accounting dept.*
• General Motors Truck Assembly Plant, Shreveport - Trim Department floater*
• Venus Rising - Production Intern*
• Random Roger Corman movie - production assistant
• Sound Warehouse (or something like that), LA - clerk
• Brentano's Bookstore, Century City - clerk*
• Director's Guild of America, LA - DGA Trainee
  
• Nigro, Karlin & Segal, Century City - staff
• Palmer & Company, West L.A. - Assistant Account Manager and then Account Manager*
  
• AIM Funds, Austin - customer service rep, basically
• Book People, Austin - clerk
• Accountemps, Austin - Temp*
• Department of Information Resources, Austin - Accountant II*
• The Faculty , Austin - Assistant Production Accountant**
  
• Barnes and Noble, Austin - clerk*
• Downtown Austin Alliance - Accountant*
  
• KPMG, Los Angeles - Tax Intern
• BDO Seidman, San Francisco - Tax Intern**
• PwC, Austin - Tax Associate
• PwC, Houston - Tax Associate*

* They hired me.
* They offered me a job, but I declined.

Ways to Get PJenkins to Do You a Favor

Any one of these tactics would work, but I used all of them today in a single request. No surprise. Success!

• Humility
• My own desperation
• If at all possible, play the cancer card
• Flattery
• Gratitude

Things that make my life better

• Blue hoodie from American Apparel
• Sorel house shoes
• Amazon Kindle
• Weber grill
• Balsamic vinegar
• iPod Shuffle
• Smart Wool socks
• Sirius/XM Radio
• Alcohol
• The refrigerator a co-worker brought to work and put right by my desk
• The water bottle and coffee cup I have at work that makes me feel like I'm saving the planet

Underrated Film de jure: August (2008)

Thoughts:
- Indie Wall Street
- Better yet...dot.com Death of a Salesman?
- Nicely assured showcase for the lead
- Seriously, this is ideal lead casting
- Given the timeline, refreshingly NOT a 9/11 story
- Hartnett is a true movie-star
- Is it too much to say this is nearly a perfect film?
- I really want to know what Jon and Blaine think*

* - Update your Netflix queue's (if you see fit)

Web Sites I Visit Every Weekday Morning (in order)

1. CTA Bus Tracker
2. Work e-mail
3. People
4. List Anything
5. CNN
6. Chicago Tribune

Side note - hotmail and facebook are blocked at work.

Websites I Visit Every Morning (In Order)

1. Yahoo (mail)
2. Diet Blog
3. List Anything
4. Facebook
5. Match (for Jim - this has given me so much enjoyment over the last few weeks)
6. Netflix (to see what is being mailed)
7. Hulu (to see what's in my queue for the day - mostly Daily Show)

I would love to hear some other people's but also the last thing I need is another way to kill time:)

Decade in Review 5 - Movies I Did Not Like A Lot

These are just the ones I saw that I thought I might like, with the exception of the one that I saw just because it had Jane Fonda in it even though I knew I wouldn't like it.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Mamma Mia!
Rachel Getting Married
Dan in Real Life
The Golden Compass
Babel
Crash
Monster in Law
The Family Stone
The Perfect Storm
A.I.
Coyote Ugly*
Meet the Parents
Love Liza
Cold Mountain
Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde
The Last Samurai
Sideways

*I thought it would be good-bad but it was just terrible-bad.

DIR: 2000 + Intro

Okay, so once I got hooked I couldn't stop. I decided to do a top ten for each year according to how I feel NOW, since I'm sure when I first saw each of these movies, I thought they were the best movie EVER. Whatevs.

1. Unbreakable
2. Snatch
3. You Can Count on Me
4. In the Mood for Love
5. Memento
6. State and Main
7. X-Men
8. Battle Royale
9. Charlie's Angels
10. All the Pretty Horses

*Chopper
*Proof of Life
*Amores Perros
*Sexy Beast
*Nine Queens